WARNING: The Author of This Book is Even More Insane

*existential crisis*

I spent a lot of time thinking in the shower this morning.

Mostly about my future, and a little about my past. Where I came from and where I think I'm going.

Honestly one of my biggest fears is that I'm missing out on being young because I want to grow up so much, because I worry too much, because I'm wasting my time on trying to be an adult. I feel this constant pressure that if I don't start performing NOW, I'll never be able to be successful in my career.

I'm FOURTEEN.

The end of the school year and summer break is supposed to be relaxing, but the fact the school year went so fast is stressing me out. I don't want to rest of my life to be like this, counting the minutes and hours and days until the weekend, two days of more work more often than not, and starting all over again.

The fact that I can look at these next four years and see it going as fast as the blink of an eye is terrifying to me. I don't want to tell my kids that I wasted my high school years stressing about college, when everyone else seems to be not stressing enough.

God I had a direction with this and I don't know where it went.

Hopefully someday I'll write a chapter of this that isn't depressing lol

So yeah. Have your daily existential crisis.