Plague

Plague-chapter 11

Even though Soundwave was determined not to break down in front of Megatron and the Autobots, he found he couldn't keep himself together longer than the moment they stepped into his quarters.

Blaster had followed him without a word, his former friend's loyalty left Soundwave both shocked and greatly thankful. His cassettes all had duties, they were alone in the large room and Soundwave couldn't help letting himself be pulled close to the other's frame, arms embracing him with gentle strenght and the Decepticon third-in-command leant into it. Blaster did not say anything, did not reprimand him or made him feel any worse than he already did. And now, knowing he didn't have to be strong anymore, he let those withheld tears flow.

His son was dying, and Blaster was probably the only one who could somehow understand what he was feeling.

It had been an awfully long time since he last cried, Soundwave almost totally forgot what it felt like. His intakes hitched again and his body shook with wild sobs, all the tension of the previous days bursting out of him as he buried his face deep into the red shoulder. He faintly felt Blaster's hand stroking circles on his back, neither saying a word, but Soundwave thought he wouldn't have been able to speak even if he had to. He felt like there was a lump in his throat, like icy hands were suffocating him.

But after what seemed like eternity, Blaster finally spoke up quietly, "Hey, 'Wave... I wouldn't tell ya to calm down, cause I know you've got to get it out, but you're gonna make yourself sick like this."

His arms tightened around Soundwave when the other's intakes started hitching so violently it sounded like he was choking. Blaster worried his prediction would come true as Soundwave slumped in his arms, his frame starting to overheat. His sobs gave place to shaky vents, his trembling refused to cease even for a nanoklick.

"Soundwave, ya okay?" Blaster frowned and felt the other tape decker shook his head slightly against his neck cables.

"Dizzy." came the quiet answer, causing Blaster to unfold his arms from around Soundwave. He put a hand around his shoulder instead and guided him to the bigger berth and sat him down. The Autobot hurried over to the energon dispenser and got a cube before returning to the trembling Decepticon. The energon was soothingly cool as Soundwave drank all its contents slowly, Blaster sat beside him with an arm still around his waist.

"Easy." Blaster told him and put away the empty cube once Soundwave was finished, "Better now?"

Soundwave nodded and wiped away the coolant from his face. He felt his counterpart lift his chin, gently forcing him to look into those bright blue, accepting optics.

"Let me see your face." Blaster asked him quietly, "We're alone. I want to know everything you truly feel."

After a moment of hesitation, Soundwave finally retracted his visor as well, baring his face fully to the other dual-spark. Amber optics still glistened with coolant and a little dull, but at least he was calming down and his erratic ventilations evened. They sat wordlessly for a while before Blaster broke the silence again.

"Is it because of what Ratchet said?"

Soundwave looked down, as if suddenly ashamed of his breakdown, "Partly." he answered, his tone soft, "Because I knew he was right."

Blaster heaved a great sigh, "Well, maybe he was right in that you could have called us sooner, but still, he shouldn't have started to argue, he should have known what happened to Rumble would affect you and shouldn't have added to your growing distress. And I guess, as you said, you would have called had things been different, right?"

Soundwave again just nodded, a familiar trait that Blaster knew for stellar cycles. The usually stoic mech tended to lock himself up even more if things went wrong around him and if he felt he could have done something to prevent it. It was apparent for Blaster that he was taking all the guilt to himself, no matter how much it consumed him.