Usha's Diary
2009,September.
I couldn't study much due to be parentless.I only studied till S.S.C which is quiet similar to of O' level in British or Oxford curriculum.
Though I studdied in a free school.But I use to read lots of book as my cousin brother who brought me those books. He was only two years older than me.
After primary level my uncle told my aunt to stop my education cause, after primary the education is not free in Bangladesh.
But my aunt told him to do me favor for another few years to complete S.S.C , so I can get a husband and they can soon say me good bye.
As a revenge of some few extra bucks my uncle tried to sexualy abuse me .But couldn't make a easy way for my cousin brother Alek.
I miss him a lot.
2010,January.
After a long pause I'm writing something in Diary, today have something to write.
I'm not feeling okay today.Feeling drowsy. Feels like I'm gonna faint any moment.
I told my husband about that, he just told me to finish my work before I'll get more sick!!
It Sucks when you're doing so much without getting Appreciation or care.
When someone takes you for granted,it Sucks.
The fire inside me , just wanted to drag him out from our bedroom.
Where he is just working with his laptop, extreamly busy right beside me.
I came from a poor background but my husband is from a middle class family, who got some education.Seems like my uncle auntie put me in a better hand. Actually the story was different.
Cause it wasn't an arrange marriage.
He send proposal.
Being beautiful here is always a curse. No good look girl in those rural part is free from eve teasing or sexual abuse.If girls are to hard to get, they often got raped and killed on their way home or work. No one get proper punishment for that crime. They always have a powerfull back up from the local goons or politic leader's.
Or they got proposal for marriage too early, even before realize what's love, sex or relationship. So my husband did send proposal.
I never liked him though but I had no choice. Cause I was spending a worse life.
I thought it would be a change of the state, may be not for the pain.
So I had to marry him in an evening of 2007. Without any ceremony or gathering it happened. Even without a weading ring! Or honeymoon!
It wasn't my dream either to marry that simple.
At the age of 18 really wanted to feel the butterfly in my stomach.But It never came up.The first sex after my marriage was like a "one night stand" with a stranger.Nothing felt like Madonna's "like a virgin" . So my "love Marriage" dream buried at the bay right then.
*****Thanks for reading dear readers*****
A poor girl from South Asia never listen to Madonna. But I told before, depends by the relevancy, time & accuracy, character may be a little bit customized.
Love-Mouri
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