I never knew I was the only one to see the world like this. To see it as a world where no one ever spoke a word. A world where thoughts ran free. A world where there was silents all around. A world where no one listened.
I never realized it. I nev...
I went home and changed out of my clothes. Ian still hadn't returned.
Sometimes, out of the ordinary things happen. Something I would never expect. The craziest things happen when you least expect it and today were one of those days.
After I was finished getting ready for bed I got a text message saying... saying... saying...
I started to run and when I started to run I couldn't stop running. My feet would just keep on going and wouldn't stop. There was no way to stop it. I didn't even know what to do when I got there. All I knew was I wanted to be there. To be there with Ian. To be by his side. To be right where he his. To be... to be...
My tears fell like the Nile River. This was just like the time my parents died. And I couldn't let this happen again. I need this person. I am in so much pain right now that I just can't take it. It hurts and I can't even scream out my pain.
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Why isn't any of my personalities coming out to help me? Asia! Riyana! Josie! Dominic! Someone, help me! I can't handle all this by myself. I need someone to stop it. To stop this pain. To help me through all this. To save me and Ian. Why Ian?
Ian was going to leave me. How come Ian has to leave me?
If Ian died what would I do? Would I even last a day? Someone hear me, someone answer me, someone please help me.
I had no idea what to do and my personalities wouldn't help. There was nothing I could do even if I reached there. All I wanted is to be by him. I wanted to be there for him. I can't let him die all alone.
I rushed over to the place Ian had gotten hurt.
I must have been going crazy because my personalities were talking to me and I was talking back and could understand them.
"Why are you crying, Shay?" Josie asked me.
"Ian might die and there's nothing I can do." I cried.
"It's okay, Shay, don't cry," Dominic tried to cheer me up.
"Yeah, Shay, you can get through this." Even Asia's cheerful voice couldn't pump me up.
"Shay, don't be a bum in the butt," Riyana had a way of making people feel better.
"Stop, everyone just stop. Why aren't you guys taking this over for me? Why aren't you guys doing what you always do. You guys all know I can't take this, so why aren't you doing anything?" I couldn't stop crying.
"We don't help because it's your turn," Riyana replied.
"It's time for you to face all your fears," Asia smiled.
"You've overcome so much that Dominic and I stopped showing up," Josie tried to comfort me.
"We're all sure you can handle this," Riyana says.
"It's time for you to let us go," Dominic said to me.
"For you to get over everything," Josie said.
"You need to become the true you," Dominic told me.
Asia stated, "After this we'll disappear, you'll get your voice back that we stole from you, and you won't need us anymore." Asia cried.
"NO!!! Don't leave me. I can not handle life without you. Please don't leave me. I need you guys. I could never go through all this hardship without you. NO! Please don't leave!" I started to shake. My tears fell so hard. I didn't want them to go and they were going to go. "I need you guys. I need you guys so I can lift my head up towards life."
"You don't need us, you need Ian. And your wasting time spending it here talking to your personalities."
"And it's not like we're really leaving. We'll still be part of you, but just in tiny parts of you," Josie said.
"You've always been us. You just hid those parts of you in us, your personalities. All you have to do is put those parts of you back in you," Riyana answered.
"Bye, Shay. We love you," they all say. And then they disappeared leaving me all alone.
"I love you too."
They left and I was still running after finding out that they took Ian to the hospital.
I realized something. This was all on me. There was no one to get me through this. I had to get through this fear on my own, the fear that I might lose a loved one.
The ambulance was already there and they had taken Ian into the surgery room as I lipped read from the lady at the front desk.
Without even thinking I tried to rush into the surgery room, luckily there was someone there to hold back. Wish they could hold back my tears just as they held back my body.
What I don't understand is how could life be so fun and happy one second and then a horror film the second. How could I live happily with Ian one second and have him hurt the second. I can't lose him. Have hope, Shay.
I sat in the seat where you have to wait for the patient to recover.
It took quite a long time for me to calm down and when I did it lasted a tiny second just when it turned back on when they let me in to see Ian and I saw he was badly hurt, in my opinion. The doctor said he was stable, but it didn't look like it to me.
"Ian?" He opened his eyes. "You're alive." I smiled with joy. Ian tried to speak, but I shushed him. "I need you to not speak. You're already so hurt. Because of you I can't stop crying." Ian opened his eyes in shock. I just realized I was talking. "That's not the only thing weird. I have no more personalities to help me through life. Crazy, right?" I tried to put on a smile.
"I can't do it! I can't fake a smile when you're like this. Don't leave me, Ian!! I need you."
"I won't leave you if you don't leave me."
"Your own sister left you, your parents disappeared on you, but I'm not going to and I'm not going to leave you and I'm not going to disappear on you. And I'm not going to let you disappear no matter what happens. We're going to go through this together. Because I'm always going to Stand by You."
I breathed in hard and said it. The words he always wanted to hear and I always wanted to say. What better time than now?
