MUTE GIRL- BECAUSE I'M MISSING YOU

WELCOME SPRING

It was Spring...again.

You're ignoring the call but you know you have to answer eventually. Your head feels like it has a heart beat on each temple and it's beating for dear life. Your ears can't stand the screeching noise waking you and you want to flap them closed but you can't. Why? Because ears were made to hear- good news or bad- ears are all the same, they never change, not like hearts.

You lift your head from your pillow and feel your hair tumbling down your back like a waterfall. Your mind is fuzzy and the last remnants of your dream were being piggybacked on someone's back. But who? You were happy and you smiled that's how you know it was just a dream. It was a nice dream. But you know you don't deserve it, that's why your glad the details are fading fast even as you try to recall them.

You're awake and the ringing of your alarm clock has stopped. It's placed on your lap and you're staring at it so hard yet you see nothing. You're awake, but somehow you're still asleep. And truth be told, you feel as though you've never woken up, ever since that day. That day, that day that everything changed and time froze.

The clock reads 7:00 am in bold crimson light. You still haven't moved an inch but somehow you're not even in this timeline let alone in your cramping room that makes you feel like an alien. No, you're far-gone, far too soon. You're in that place people call a mind searching for a forgotten memory.

The clock is like a trigger and the light hits you like a blade. It slowly pieces into you. Into the broken you until it can't go any further.

The colour red fills your vision and you know there is no turning back. It's like a movie, no, not even that because that'd be too good if it were true. No, it's like a montage of a dramatic movie- nothing makes sense but all you see are important facts.

It hurts you, you know it does but you still look back, back where memories that should not be woken lie. What do you see? You search and search.

A rose. A gown. A laugh and a scream. A tear. A gasp... and...and...and what? You don't want to know what's coming next, but you're too far in your head.

A voice. A boy. A smile and a blush. A dance. A death...and finally...a pool full of blood.

You scream in silence and you feel something surge from your gut into your throat. Your right hand covers your mouth and in only seconds your inside your bathroom within your room. You're coughing, coughing your memories, heart and life out. You want it gone, gone and gone fast, but; you know you deserve the pain.

When your back in your bedroom the light through the widow blinds your vision. It 's then that the fact that you've woken comes to your realization. You sigh in regret. In regret of who you are, your life and of the clock that you had now broken. How many clocks would this one make? You know Spring had just began last Monday which means that seven and now eight were broken in total.

You walk to the edge of the queen sided bed and pick up each bit and piece from where the clock was scattered. You're not to blame. You know this isn't your season. When it's Spring, you know the death you caused haunts you. You know and remember who you are in your life. Which is, and will always be.... A murder.