Dying In Disguise (DISCONTINUED)

Chapter 7

Thanks for the votes, for those who voted. Here's chapter 7 :)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Mom called for dinner I debated with myself whether to go or not. My choice honestly depended on what she was serving. I decided a diet would probably be good for me. I wasn't doing this for anyone else. Sure, Zoey's words stung, but there was no way I was gonna re-adjust my whole food chain just for her. Nope, not happening!

I came downstowns to find my family already seated at the table. I guess Zach had gone. He didn't even say goodbye to me, which was pretty unusual.

The smell of spaghetti and meatballs filled my nostrils when I stepped foot into the kitchen. I took my usual seat next to Sheridon.

"So, Zach left I see?" I asked her. She nodded.

"Yep, about ten minutes ago."

"Aww, he didn't tell me goodbye." I said looking down.

"Oh, we both thought you didn't wanna be bothered."

I shook my head.

"Nah, it's okay."

I didn't question her furthermore as I wanted. If she wanted to tell me what Zach wanted to know, then it was her decision. I guess it was none of my business...

My steaming hot plate was set before me, and it looked mouth-watering. I picked up my fork to eat. Forget dieting!

But then, my decision didn't seem so smart when Sheridon pushed her plate away.

"Mom, do you know how much fat's in that serving. Christie and Zoe were telling me earlier that it isn't too smart to eat so unhealthy." she said.

Her words obviously caught my parents off guard, because Mom looked a bit offended.

"Oh," she said. "Is that so?"

Sheridon nodded.

"We just wanna make sure we stay the same size until the dance so we can still fit into our dresses. So, Imma go grab a few energy bars instead." she stood up and headed to the pantry.

I looked down at my delicious smelling food. 

No wonder you've gained so much. You eat like a pig. Do you have any idea what you're doing to yourself?

I didn't know where those harsh thoughts were coming from. I picked up my fork to eat.

Get rid of it. You want them to like you right?

I frowned.

You can make them accept you. You can even make Zach ask you to the dance. You have control.

And just like that, I pushed my plate away. 

"Oh, not you too Kelsi." My mother said to me. I looked up at her.

"No Mom, it's just I'm not that hungry. I'm gonna go get some rest." I stood up and left the table. My poor Mom was obviously confused about my behavior. She knows spaghetti's my absolute favorite dish. I just couldn't bring myself to eat it.

I climbed the stairs once again to my room. When I came in, I headed straight to the bathroom. I stared at my reflection once again. My image looked just as it had hours ago. There was no difference. I raised my shirt up to examine my abdomin. The girl in the mirror did the same. I pinched my stomach, trying to capture the flab. Compared to Sheridon and her friends, I may as well be a cow. They had such flat stomachs. Sheridon's very petite in stature. Zoey and Christine aren't much different, only Christine's height exceeds a few more inches. I remember earlier today when Christine had tried on her dress. Size three. Then Zoey slid into hers. Also size three. Sheridon came along in her navy velvet number. Size four. But, then came me. Size six. Size freaking six.

I scowled at my image in the mirror. 

Fat.

I guess I really hadn't changed through the years as much as I thought. At age eight, I was the odd one out. The chubbiest in my class. Almost all of them made fun of me except for Zach. He'd stood by my side. I did the same for him in middle school when the other boys would call him a nerd since he was the only one in our class who could manage an A for the whole two semesters. Middle school. That's when I'd managed to get my weight down. I felt so much more confident about myself. Last year, freshman year, I'd completely broken out of my shell. No longer was I so insecure. I became much more open. Gaining friends was such an easy task for me, but now...now things seem like they're reverting back to the way they were. Ever since Christine came and brought Zoey with her, I've just felt so unhappy.

I allowed myself to look once again at my image...that brunette girl in the mirror. 

So heavy. 

I felt like that lonely third-grader again. The poor eight year old girl, believing every word those bullies said. All those lies that haunted me over those past seven years. 

Ugly.Fat.Bitch.Stupid.Cow.

I didn't wanna cry. I couldn't cry. My brown eyes watered, but I refused to let the tears fall. I had to be strong.

Fat Ass

I finally broke down. I watched my tears splatter into the sink. With a huge sob, I exited the bathroom back to my room. I collapsed on my bed and cried myself to sleep.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------