Starting Over

Chapter 1

Ugh.

She had to pee yet again, she was thrilled she could finally see a light at the end of the tunnel, she was just about eight months pregnant and felt as big as a house.

She reached over to his side of the bed and found it empty, "Sean?" Kim called out, it had been a little over a year since they'd gotten together and while it was incredibly awkward at first for them considering she and Adam still shared a very large group of mutual friends.

For the most part they'd all been adults about it, though it took some time and her relationship with Kevin wasn't quite the same, they made it work.

She kicked the covers off and went into the bathroom, sighing when she found his wet towels haphazardly tossed over the shower curtain and globs of toothpaste in the sink. She quickly relieved herself before cleaning the sink and grabbing the towels and tossing them in the hamper.

She felt a strong kick from the baby, "I know...I know" she mumbled as she caressed her baby bump, "I'm gonna get you something to eat..little one"  the pregnancy was a serious surprise and it took her a long time to get comfortable with the pregnancy.

She was the one who told Adam, Sean tried to talk her out of it and he offered to do it, but she insisted.

She couldn't sit still as she waited for Adam to meet her at the small cafe, she was filled with dread. They'd had just gotten to the point where they could be civil to each other and she hoped at one point it would evolve into friendship. Now, she was afraid that wasn't going to happen, she knew he wasn't ready to move on yet. She hated it, she just wanted him to be happy, like she was. She was unbelievably happy, sometimes she needed to pinch herself.

She heard the clanging of the bells, and saw Adam coming towards her, she stood up "Adam..hey" she spoke nervously.

"Hi" Adam responded as he slid into the booth, it was painful to be in her presence knowing that she didn't love him anymore, he knew he'd never stop loving her. He lived in a constant state of regret, he regretted dragging his feet with the wedding, he regretted letting her walk out of his life. He regretted calling Sean out in the middle of the district about his feelings for Kim and he regretted giving Sean 'permission' to date her but most of all he regretted not fighting for her. Instead he backed off and let Sean move in on her, and it didn't take long before they were together.

Adam had no idea why she had called him, they hardly ever spoke to each other unless of course it was work related or had to do with Erin and Jay's recent wedding. They'd come a long way, he and Sean could even be in the same room without it turning into a shouting match.

Things had been really tense for awhile but cooler heads finally prevailed.

Kim took a sip of water, and cleared her throat. "Adam, I called you..I wanted to see you..in person" she knew she was babbling but she was so nervous.

"Kim, just say it" Adam practically begged, it was killing him to be so close to her.

"I'm pregnant" she finally blurted out.

Adam inhaled sharply, he suddenly was filled with jealousy. "Wow..." He muttered, speaking suddenly difficult.

Kim could see the hurt in his eyes, "I...I just didn't want you to hear it from someone else.."

He ripped the napkin in front of him into little pieces, "I..yea" he was speechless.

Kim felt terrible, "I'm sorry" she wasn't sure why she was apologizing.

Adam looked at her, "Are you happy?"

"Yes" she smiled warmly.

Adam nodded, "That's all I ever wanted, Kim. I just want you to be happy...you'll be an amazing mother...that's one lucky kid" he smiled wistfully, he stood up. Without thinking he brushed the back of his hand against her cheek, "I just thought it'd be us"

"Me too" she replied.

"Good luck...tell..him...Sean. Tell him I said congratulations" Adam said before leaving the cafe.

Kim watched as he walked down the street, his shoulders sagged. She could tell by his body language that he was miserable, Erin had told her as much. She just didn't expect to witness it with her own eyes, he had always seemed okay when she saw him.

He was anything but okay.

Kim snapped out of the memory, she knew she had broken his heart for a second time that day. She knew he'd seen a few different women since they broke up but none of them every working out and he seemed to have given up.

She found the note from Sean pinned to the bulletin board. 

She read it quickly, a little disappointed that he had been called in to work, she was hoping they'd finally get the crib and changing table together. At her last appointment her doctor suspected she would deliver early and she wanted everything in place before their little girl arrived.

"We all clear on how this will play out?" Hank asked the assembled group as they huddled near the roll up.

Things were a bit more tense than usual, he called in a few patrol officers and Sean Roman was among them. He briefly met with Adam to make sure he could handle it and Adam had assured him, it was fine.

He wasn't so sure that was the case as he watched the pair exchange a few awkward glances at each other and he quickly made the decision to partner Roman up with Halstead.

They loaded up in the caravan of unmarked cars and rolled out to the site of the drug raid, this was going to be a major bust and it wouldn't be easy.

He said a silent prayer as he sat in the lead car, he hoped they all come back in one piece.

Kim went through the piles of clothes her little girl already owned, she couldn't help but laugh. The kid wasn't even born yet and she needed another closet to hold all of her clothes. It was a sea of pinks and purples in every shade imaginable, loads of adorable little dresses and the cutest little jeans and tops.  She could blame most of it on Erin, she had really taken to being an 'honorary aunt', she had already spoiled the little girl.

Kim knew it would only get worse once she was born, but she couldn't wait. Both her and Sean could barely contain their excitement.

It was close to seven and she was exhausted, she had left a voicemail for Sean and hoped he'd be home soon, she was trying her best not to fall asleep but with each passing minute it became increasingly harder.

Finally sleep won out as she let her eyes close.

Hank kicked at the tire of the ambulance, nothing had gone as planned and they'd lost a good man because of it.

---NOTE--

I know...I know..this is weird. I got this idea and I needed to run with it for my own sanity, as I've said before writing is an escape for me and I've needed it that last few days. Nothing major or serious, just shit timing and life giving me a shit ton of lemons.

Please stick with this one...