Playing Pretend

I'm sorry about the vomit.

"So..." 

August gestures at my bare leg, "Uh, did you want to get dressed first?" 

I had never wanted the floor to open up and swallow me more. Like, ever. 

"Er, yes. I do." I nod towards my wardrobe. "Give us a sec." 

Running to my wardrobe I rip my robe off and try to sort through the piles of clothes that I really should have cleaned up three weeks ago. Stupid, stupid, Elsie. I throw on the first things I see that aren't hot pink pyjamas and don't have week old hot dog stains down the front, a pair of yoga pants and a grey tee, and run a quick brush through my wet hair so I didn't look entirely like a giant drowned poodle. 

Just a little one. 

I find August just where I left him, lounging on my bed as if it was his own. If it were any other day I would have promptly gone and pushed him off, but this wasn't any other day. 

"Your phone keeps ringing." He says as soon as he sees me walking back into the room, trying to hold back a smile. "Your ringtone is er, interesting. I would've never pictured you as a One Direction fan." 

I point my finger in between his perfect eyes, "Hey! Watch it buddy. I happen to love 1D." 

He tries to cover his snort with his hand, "I'm not judging you." 

Groaning I flop onto the bed next to him - and by next to him I mean as far as I possibly can - and shoot him a dirty look. "Uh-huh, right. And I'm not feeling like I want to vomit all over you right now." 

"Ugh, I'd rather you didn't. Once last night was enough to last me a lifetime, thanks."

"W-what, you, I didn't - " My brain has stopped working. The only thing I can manage is mouthing random words and gaping like a especially slow goldfish. Oh. My. God. I didn't throw up on him, did I? 

He nods, looking a little sickened. "Yep. You sure did. Did you eat hot-dogs yesterday by any chance?"

That's it. I'm moving to Mexico. I'll start my new life as Lolita Montez and start my own hot-dog stand. 

My eyes squeeze shut as I try and not cry.  And then I say something I never thought would come out of my mouth, right next to 'No, I don't want a million dollars' and 'Sure, I'll set my Louie's on fire'.

"I'm sorry August. I don't know why I let myself get so bad. Did my parents see me?" 

He shrugs, as if he'd been thrown up on a million times before, "No, I kept you pretty quiet. When they saw you home this morning I just told them you had a fight with Kinsley. And it's fine, I guess it was karma just coming back to throw up all over me, literally." 

I pry one of my eyes open. "Karma?" 

His face hardens so quickly I'm half convinced if I touched his face I'd feel stone. Jaw clenched he meets my eyes, well, eye. "I shouldn't have kissed you when I knew you were that drunk. I just got caught up in the moment and snapped, I guess. I'm sorry Elsie. It won't happen again."

It won't happen again. A fist squeezes around my heart, quickly followed by a surge of panic. 

Why did I feel so disappointed? That's what I wanted, wasn't it? For it to never  happen again? 

"No, no, no." I answer before I can think about it anymore. "It's not like you forced me, I was just as willing as you were. Like you said we just got caught up in the moment." 

His lips purse, as if he doesn't quite believe me. "I mean it would just be too hard to ever," He's struggling for words and it's so cute I want to cry, "we live together, it's just too, too - "

"Complicated?" I offer. "That, and this is the first thing we've agreed on since you've been here?" 

This brings back a little of the August I had grown to know, and loathe. "It's not my fault you're wrong all the time." 

Like a girl possessed my fingers curl around the closest pillow and fling it at his head, hitting him straight in his smirking face. "Ha!" I scream triumphantly. "I was about to say the same damn thing."

Frowning he rubs the red welt forming on the side of his face. "This isn't getting us anywhere."

"Although it did get that pillow to your face pretty quickly. Maybe if we keep going next time it'll be my lamp, oh!" My hands clap together excitably, "or my books!"

"Elsie..." He groans. "This isn't helping."

"Fine. Do continue your depressing speech about how awful I am."

"I don't think you're awful." He snaps, before taking a deep breathe. He batts a stray brown lock from his eyes to get a better look at me. Something inside of me implodes. "Look, let's just pretend it never happened, okay?"

I want to say no. I want to scream. I do really want to throw my books at his head, but instead I force the fakest smile in the history of fake smiles and nod my head like a puppy. "Brilliant. Sounds like a plan to me."

He begins to stand up but before he reaches his feet stops to hover in the air, his knee rested on the mattress.

"Hey,"

I blink back at him, "Yes?"

"Josh was pretty upset last night." He must see me about to roll my eyes because he halts me with his hands, "And I know that he's not your boyfriend, but I just don't want you to cop all the blame alone."

I knew it was meant to be taken as sweet but instead I found myself so angry I could barely form words. Angry at Josh for being angry at all. Angry at Kinsley for pushing me to a point where I couldn't deal anymore. Angry at August for.... for being August?

"It's fine. I know how to deal with Josh." My words cut through the air like a blade, leaving no more room for discussion. I eye the door, hoping he'd get the hint.

He shakes his head, "Elsie..."

"NO!" I snap back, a little louder this time. "I said I can handle it, okay? Now get out of here before I do throw a lamp at you."

His mouth slams shut, and every muscle in his body contracts underneath his clothes. In one quick movement he spins around and stalks to the door, pushed by the angry waves fuming from him. Not giving me another glance he grabs the door and slams it behind me.

That rat bastard.

"THAT'S MY THING YOU OVERSIZED GERBEL!"

My phone begins to ring again and I rip it from the bedside table, checking the caller I.D - Josh. With a quick scan of my lock screen  I see that he's already called me ten times this morning. Along with three from Penny and one from Kinsley.

He's just going to keep going if you don't answer, my brain whines. I hear August slamming his own door and another burst of anger pumps through my veins.

"That stupid, jerkazoid...." I'm muttering underneath my breath as my finger presses answer. Hadn't I just told him I could handle myself?

"Hey, Josh. Look I'm sorry about last night, I think I drank too much and....."

He cuts me off with a comprehensive list of things I've done wrong, and that's the last words I get in for the rest of the phone call.