ivy; s.m.

e i g h t e e n

AFTER the movie, we walked out to the car and sat down inside. He just sat there sighing.

"So," I said angrily, crossing my arms. "You gonna tell me why your phone was blowing up the whole time?"

He ran a hand through his hair and groaned. "Ivy, it's not what you think. You're the only girl in my life right now."

"So Sierra and Justice are boys, now? Because last time I checked their boobs were bigger than their brains."

"They're not that bad," he said quickly, and then, "wait!" I climbed out of the car.

"I can't believe I thought this would work!" I ranted, kicking pebbles underfoot angrily. "The first date and you already can't handle only one girl. My God, Shawn!"

"It's not like that-"

"All my friends told me this wouldn't work. They told me you were a delinquent, and I should have believed them." The words felt sour leaving my mouth, and he furrowed his eyebrows together in frustration.

"I thought you didn't listen to what anybody said," he spat, "I thought you were special."

"I'll take the bus home." I whispered, crossing my arms and walking quickly to the bus stop. He sped away in that stupid car and tears streaked down my cheeks as I shivered.

-

When I got home I threw off my clothes and got in the shower, huddled with my knees to my chest and sobbing into the water.

When I finally got out my makeup was smeared across my face, so I wiped it all off and locked myself in my room. I was alone, Cara was at work and my mom was gone too. I pulled on my favourite sweater and some leggings and watched Netflix on the living room couch until one in the morning.

-

"How was your date?"

I slammed my lock shut and turned away from Ashley's sarcastic eyes.

"It was fine." I rearranged the books in my hands and walked away from her.

She followed me. "Then why haven't you looked at me yet?" I sped up until she jogged in front of me and cut me off.

"Ivy!" Ashley cried angrily, staring me right in the face.

"People are looking," I whispered, my eyes on my converse.

"Just tell me how your date was. God, you are so frustrating!"

"So you can say 'I told you so'?" I yelled at her. That definitely got the people's attention.

"This is what I get for trying to be a friend.." Ash said under her breath and turned on her heel.

I shook my head and laughed humourlessly at the back of her head. "If that's what you think a friend is, than that is exactly what you had coming."

She stopped in her tracks and whipped around, anger glistening in her eyes. "You know what? You're perfect for Shawn. You're both screwed up!" she screamed.

Tears surfaced in my eyes. The hallway had gone deathly quiet. This silence was violent.

I smacked her, hard, right across the face. The blow made her stutter backwards, but she didn't fall. Just let out a strangled cry and threw herself at me.

-

"You both know why you're here, don't you?" the principal asked, her long nails tap-tap-tapping on the desk.

I was silent, staring down at my clenched hands in my lap and letting the tears roll down my cheeks. Every time I breathed, my lungs cried out in protest. I hoped at least that the eye I'd punched would turn black. From the way Ashley was cupping her hand around it, it was possible.

"I'm going to have to call your parents and suspend you both."

Ashley let in a quick jut of air. "You can't suspend me. My record is perfect."

"Not anymore it's not, young lady. Should have thought of that before hitting a student."

I hated the way the principal was looking at me, like she was so disappointed in me. The guilt wracked my body. I wanted to sob. I wanted to throw up.

Ashley stood up. "C-can I go to the bathroom and see how... bad... it is?" she whispered, motioning to her face. And it was bad. The principal nodded and she left.

"I really don't understand, Ivy." she sighed. "You are not the kind to be in any kind of fight."

"I can't really avoid a conflict when it's about me." I mumbled.

"Oh, sweetheart." she stood up from her chair and walked over, giving me a stiff and uncomfortable hug, before sitting back down. She smelled like roses, which reminded me of my mom and made me cry harder.

"What happened to my life?" I choked.

this chapter was really hard to write so it took me a while, sorry. tell me if anything doesn't make sense and i'll fix it (: