Everything Is Grey

II. But your Heart so Cold

A Year Ago

"Next class period, we will be reviewing for our test on Friday. Don't forget to do your worksheets and have questions for me to answer." The bell rings. I pack up my stuff, and walk out the classroom. I walk towards my locker, and start to put my Calculus and Economics stuff in it. I close my locker and as I start to walk away someone hugs me from behind and know immediately who it was.

"Hey, Lucas." I smile disappointedly. I start to feel him try and kiss my neck. I squirm a bit trying to make it seem playful. He tries again.

"Hey." He goes back to trying to, practically give me a hickey. Ehh!

Ugh! Can he stop? Can't he tell it's disgusting me? And seriously, he really thinks I'm liking it? He's just annoying the crap out of me!

"Well I have to go to class." I quickly slip out of his arms, Wow! They are really skinny!, and walk away probably a little too fast. Fuck! Is it obvious? Oh well. He stands there a bit heartbroken and confused as I walk away. I go up the stairs and towards my next period. Two more periods to go.

The rest of the day went by like normal. Slow but fast at the same time. I walk into Language Arts after walking quickly in order to avoid Lucas. Luckily, I made it to class before he noticed me. I sit down in the back of the class. The tardy bell rang and like always Jhosua slipped in at the last minute.

"Hey, Jhosua. Next time try to walk faster. Won't you?" Ms. Thompson gives him a nice 'You better do it' face. Jhosua smiles and gives her a warm laugh. He goes to the back of the classroom and sits next to me.

"Hey, Adalia. How you doin' girl?," he says, flicking his hand towards me. I start to laugh and smile at him.

"I'm fine," I manage to respond. Even if I'm dating someone, I still can have a little something for someone else. Can't i? Especially if I don't like the person I date, right?

"Do you want to go eat after school?," Jhosua asks. I try to decide whether to sacrifice doing my homework in order to go hang out with Jhosua. Finally deciding on sacrificing, I respond, "Yeah. Do I get to choose where?"

"As long as it's not vegan, expensive, or far away." his laughter echoes in my ears. I smile and reassure him it's not. Once Ms. Thompson gives us our work, we began to do it until the bell rings.

~*~

Once the bell rings signalling that we are finally free, I grab my stuff and start to walk for the door. Once I walk into the hallway, I spot Lucas far away. I frantically look for Jhosua who's barely walking out the door. I grab his hand and tug him into a run. I notice Lucas look at us and a frown crawls onto his face.

As we run, I start to feel warm and my stomach begins to tickle. Have his hands always been this soft? I wonder if my hands are soft. We stop running until we reach the door to go to the parking lot. I try to catch my breath when Jhosua asks, "What was that for?" He smiles through his heavy breathing. "Umm, nothing."

We begin to walk towards his car. He unlocks the car with a beep and we get in. "So, where did you want to go eat?", he asks as we buckle up. "This pho place near the mall." "Ohh, guess who's trying pho today?" he responds enthusiastically. I laugh, *You've never had pho before?" "Nope." "Serio-" I get interrupted by the ring of my cell phone.

I look at it and see Lucas' name. I turn off my phone and look back to Jhosua. "So are we going or am I going to die here of starvation." We both laugh and Jhosua turns on the engine and begins to drive.

When we arrive, I take out my wallet and phone from my bookbag. We go in and the guy at the door takes us to a table against the wall. He gives us the menus and walks away. Both of us reach to grab a menu. Our hands bump into each other. Shit. I quickly grab the other menu and open it up to cover the pink blooming on my face. I smile and start to look for what to order. The guy comes back with a jug of water and two cups. "Are you guys ready to order?," he asks. I look over to Jhosua who's trying to look for something nervously. "Yeah, I'd like the medium Special Combination with egg noodles and a Jasmine milk tea," I respond. Jhosua looks up worried. "What should I order?," he asks desperately. He looks soooo cute. "Do you want to get the same as me. It's really good." "Yeah, sure," he replies, relieved. The waitress writes it down and then walks away.

I look over to the black screen of my phone. I quickly look away, and smile over at Jhosua. He looks at me and asks, "Who texted you earlier?" "No one," I reply. He raises his eyebrow, "Was it Lucas?" "Yeah," I look down at my lap.

"Are you okay?," worry across his face. I shrug my shoulders and look over at the empty tables, "Yeah."

I decide to change the topic and ask him what he wants to do afterwards. We decide to go walk around the mall.

Once the food arrives, we begin to eat and talk about childhood memories. I finish my milk tea, and decide to order another one. Once we finish eating, we get up and walk out towards Jhosua's car. We get in and set off to the mall.

Once we park, I turn on my phone to check my bank account. I see his name across the screen. I freeze. Before I realize, Jhosua has already come over and snatches my phone out of my hand. My mind blank. Jhosua reads his messages out loud.

"Where are you going? Why did you run? Why are you going with him? Are you cheating on me? You better not. You know what I'm capable of. I love you. I can't lose you. Call me once you're home. We need to talk. You better be prepared. And you better not lie like always."

Jhosua looks up and sees the tears building up in my eyes. I stand there frozen. My thoughts rush through my brain.

"What is this?," Jhosua breaks the silence. "Why is he saying this shit? What does he mean by 'you know what I'm capable of'? Since when has he been like this?"

"I-i-i...," my words hang on to my tongue. Tears start rolling down my face. Jhosua puts my phone into his pocket and pulls me into a hug. I cling on tightly, barely able to stand.

"I want to go home," I finally manage to say. Jhosua looks down at me and nods. We get back into the car and drive off.

The drive home was silent. A knot had formed in my throat and I didn't know how to get rid of it. I stared out the window trying to ease out my nervousness. What is Jhosua thinking? I look over to see a worried and serious look on his face.

After fifteen minutes, we pull up in my driveway. I stay shitted for a bit. Finally, i unbuckle and reached the door handle to get out. Jhosua reaches over and holds onto my wrist. I look over at him. Worried had dominated his face.

"Call me, if anything happens. Okay?," he tells me with a shaky voice.. I nod and smile at him. He smiles in response. I get out the passengers' seat and close the door. I walk to the front door and unlock it.

Before walking in, I wave goodbye to Jhosua and go in right before he pulls out the driveway. I go upstairs and towards my room. I throw my stuff at the ground and throw myself onto my bed. I turn to my side. And before I know it, everything turns pitch black.