Confessions of the Other Woman [First Draft]

Chapter 5

Authors Note: So remember our favorite couple Tamera and Mike. I have some news. Mike is no more. Well...not so much no more, as he is getting his name changed. From here on out, Tamera's other half will be known as Jasir. Just so there is no confusion :) Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.

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"If it makes you feel any better." I began as I put down my last domino, winning the fifth game in a row. "I still can't beat my mom."

He handed me the blunt and began gathering the dominoes and placing them neatly in the box. We'd been in my dining room ever since I let him into my place. I inhaled the smoke and exhaled as he put the box back where I had gotten it from.

"I'm hungry," I announced a few moments later after passing him the blunt.

He gave me a look, "Now that you mention it..." his words trailed off and his eyes wandered over to my kitchen before settling back on me. His look told me that he was hungry, just not for food. I was determined to keep it from going there.

Instead of going into the kitchen I picked up my phone and ordered a pizza and wings. He watched me and instead of sitting back down at my dining room table, I started towards my living room.

"Let's watch a movie."

He stood and followed me quietly. I could feel his eyes burning into my back as I tried to pick a movie. I needed to pick a movie that I really wanted to watching, so I wouldn't easily get side tracked. I settled on one and sat on the opposite side of the couch. He leaned over to hand me the blunt and as I smoked what was left I turned my eyes to screen, breaking my concentration once to put the blunt out. Just when I thought that we could get through the movie without him trying to tempt me I felt his hand on my thigh. I froze and tried hard not to react, keeping my eyes glued to the t.v.

"Baby..." he started in a low voice, his hand inching further up on my thigh.

Just when I was about to break my resolve, my door bell rang. I jumped up quickly and damn near ran to the door. My heart pounded as I tried to steady my breathing before opening the door. I was saved by the pizza guy. After I paid the delivery guy and gave him a very generous tip, I turned back towards the living room. I set the boxes of food on my coffee table and opened the large pizza box.

"So why did you need to see me?" I asked as I folded a slice in half.

He gave me an amused look before asking, "I need a reason to want to see you?"

I didn't answer. The conversation with Tamera weighed heavy in the back of my head. Her words echoing. The longer we sat in silence as I ate my pizza, the longer I had to think. What the hell was I doing exactly? The more I thought about it, the more none of this seemed to make sense. He had made a choice, so what made him think that it was okay for him to just waltz back into my life?

"What's on your mind?" He asked breaking the silence.

I looked at him for a moment before saying, "You really don't want to know."

"If I didn't want to know...I would not have asked." He said softly.

I sighed and finished my pizza. "I'm just wondering, what exactly is it that we are doing here? Right now? Like why are you here?"

"I wanted to see you..." he repeated, "These last couple of years...it made me realize what an idiot I was. I made a mistake. I always told myself if I ever ran into you again. If I ever had another chance, I would do everything I could to have you back in my life. There were many nights something would happen and I would want to tell you but you weren't there."

"Because of choices you made." I reminded him.

I closed the box of pizza and looked at him. I wasn't hungry anymore and he didn't seem to be either.

"I know, but I love you." He said looking directly into my eyes.

I frowned, "Don't say that..."

"If you don't want to hear me say it, I won't, but it won't make it any less true. It's been three years and nothing has changed that. I still love you."

I looked away from him. I needed a cigarette. I had quit the habit a year and a half ago. Sure I still smoked a blunt or two here and there, but I had completely quit smoking cigarettes, and I never regretted that decision more than I did at that very moment.

"You love me too..." It was a statement.

It was true, but I wasn't going to say it aloud. I had resolved to never say those words again, especially to or about him. "I hate you too."

I said it softly but he heard it. He moved closer to me and pulled me into his arms. "I know but I'm going to work very hard to change that."

He kissed the side of my neck and I shivered. "Why?" I asked.

"Because I love you....and I'm never letting you go again..." He said his kisses traveling up my jawline.

I closed my eyes. It was hard to talk myself out of doing something stupid while he was kissing me. With each kiss I forgot why I was so angry. I forgot why this was wrong. By the time his lips found mine, I forgot that we were even arguing. He had that effect on me and he knew it. He knew me too well, and eventually I would remember that I too knew him well. That night however I let him have me, because who the fuck was I kidding, he had never lost me, not really. Not yet.