Command Me

Chapter 15

(Not edited)

~Perrie's Pov~

Jade's screams woke me, yanking me from my sleep like a fire alarm. Flipping on my bedside lamp, I discovered her curled in a ball beside me, clutching a pillow so tightly that her knuckles had turned white. I stared, trying to decide what to do. This was clearly a nightmare, and I couldn't ignore her cries that clawed painfully from her lips.
My first mistake was putting a hand on her shoulder. Jade reacted with force, elbowing me in the gut and knocking the wind out of me. I lurched up and swung my feet over the edge and planted them on the floor. Trying to stand was my second mistake. I hit the ground with a crack and crumpled, still trying to catch my breath.
"Jade wake up!" I yelled once my breathing had returned to normal. I stood again, unsure what to do. Grabbing a pillow, I smacked her with it, unwilling to risk more accidental injury. I could already feel the soreness of a bruise forming on my stomach from her blow. It didn't work, so I padded over to the wall and switched on the overhead light, contemplating if I should actually throw cold water on her or wait it out. Thankfully, Jade's eyes opened as the room brightened.
Her breathing was shallow and ragged, and as she panted, she turned to look at me with wide eyes.
"Perrie?" My name was a plea on her lips. She blinked, disoriented from sleep.
I stood back, rubbing the injury she'd given me. It had been an accident, but I kept my distance. I wasn't frightened of her exactly. I was more stunned at having been awoken in such a violent manner.
"Oh god," she panted. "What did I do?"
She was on her feet instantly, starting toward me, but I backed away. Jade paused, realisation flashing across her eyes. "I hurt you," she said flatly.
Jade didn't wait for my confirmation. Instead she crossed the room and grabbed my face while her eyes burned into mine. "You are my beautiful girl. That's why I want to protect you from the world. That's why I want to protect you from me."
Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, but as I blinked them away, they fell hot on my cheeks. "You told me once that you wanted to hear me beg."
Jade drew in a ragged breath and shook her head, letting go of my neck. "No. Not like that."
"Please," I whispered. "Please Jade."
"Do you want me to tell you that I dream about screeching metal and fire? That I wake up holding a pillow because I'm dreaming that I'm cradling my brother's broken body?" She demanded. "And that every time I wake up, I'm no closer to knowing what the hell happened that night? I can't tell you anything, because I don't know anything!"
My thoughts spun out of control, trying to take in everything she was telling me. I knew about the accident, everyone did. But it had been years ago. "Have you spoken to anyone—"
"I'm not going to talk to a goddamned psychiatrist. My brother would be alive if it weren't for me. Period. End of story."
"This isn't your fault." I dashed in front of the door, refusing to let her past. "It was an accident, everyone knows that."
"Everyone knows what they were told. Don't be stupid Perrie."
The remark, coupled with the coolness in her eyes, stung like a slap across the face. I shook my head, grabbing hold of all the confidence I could muster and crossed my arms over my chest. "You are not the first person to have been in a car accident."
"It was a little more than a car accident." Her words were spoken softly, but the hard edge under them pierced through me.
Her admission shocked me. What did that even mean? Every time I thought we had moved forward, something pushed us right back. We were both dancing around our issues instead of moving on, and then I realised that it didn't really matter. Jade's perception of that night, what actually happened none of it mattered. She needed to move forward and I had to help her.
I held out a hand to her. "Come back to bed."
Jade's eyes narrowed, and she shook her head. "You're not safe around me."
"I'm only safe around you," I murmured.
"My life is dangerous," she warned. Her hands ran through her sleep-tousled hair. "I'm dangerous."
I stepped closer to her, tipping my head up to meet her downcast eyes. "And I'm not going to break."
Jade took my hand and drew me against her, wrapping a hand around my neck once more. "You are fragile Perrie. Delicate. If my life doesn't break you, the things I want to do to you might."
I sucked in a breath but forced myself to hold her gaze. "I'm not scared of being with you, Jade. I'm only scared of being pushed away."
"And can I break you?" I murmured, stroking my hand down her face.
She sighed and shook her head. "I'm already broken."
"Then maybe I can fix you." My fingers trembled as I moved my hand across her bare stomach. Jade sucked in a sharp breath. "Don't. You can't fix a broken person"
But there was no anger in her words, only fear, and something else that she kept concealed. I closed my eyes, breaking the heady contact of her gaze so that I could think clearly. And that's when I saw what she was hiding.
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As the first light of dawn stole through my bedroom window, I woke with a start. What had I forgotten? Then it hit me, Jade was in my bed. She was still sleeping, breathing softly, her eyelids flickering slightly as she shifted and rolled onto her side. Biting my lip, I brushed a finger down her cheek. She'd taken off the mask she always wore last night and showed me the monster behind it, but all I had seen was her. Jade was beautiful but broken, And although she'd revealed part of herself to me, I knew now that I'd only skimmed the surface of her darkness.
I slipped from the bed, gliding across the floor in bare feet, so I wouldn't wake her. She was at peace for the moment, and I knew her demons waited for her when she awoke.
Jesy was in the kitchen, sporting pajama shorts, as she pushed eggs around a frying pan. Even with her hair piled messy on top of her head and no makeup, she looked gorgeous. After my decidedly rough night, I didn't even want to look in a mirror.
"I was worried when you left the ball early," she said, blowing me a kiss, "but when I got home, I realised you didn't leave alone."
My cheeks flamed and I reached into the cupboard for a glass. I'd been so caught up with Jade last night that I hadn't considered she might be home.
"You want some birth control to go with that?" Jesy asked. "'Cause judging from the sounds coming from you and Jade, you need it."
"You're hilarious," I said, the rosy glow on my cheeks staining deeper.
"Don't I know it? And I haven't even started on all the puns I came up with when you kept me awake with your moaning last night." She scooped some eggs out of the pan and onto a plate.
I groaned. "I can't wait."
"You'll see, it's going to be a real scream," she said with a wink. "Oh wait, you already did all the screaming."
"Make sure you get some of 'your mama' or 'that's what she said' jabs in there when you're coming up with this ground-breaking material," I advised her.
"Pass me the bacon," she said.
I slid the tray with cooked bacon to her and she ladled some next to the eggs.
"Thanks," I said, "I'm starving."
Jesy wagged a finger at me, her eyebrow arched suggestively. "I bet you are, but these aren't for you. I'll make you some next. Believe it or not, you weren't the only one who got some action last night."
I tugged at the hem of my thin tank top. "Is Jake here?"
"Yep, I left him in bed."
"So maybe all that screaming you claim occurred wasn't just me," I teased.
"Jake's not really a roller coaster ride," Jesy said, adding quickly, "not that I'm complaining."
Now her cheeks were flushed, but I smiled at her. "Hey, no judgment."
"Crap, I forgot the sausages." Jesy threw some into a pan and flipped the hob back on. "So you couldn't even find time to say goodnight last night before you had to rip Jade's clothes off, huh?"
I hesitated, unsure of how much to tell Jesy. On one hand, she was my best friend. "Actually, I did leave alone."
"I guessed," Jesy admitted.
"Jade found me when she was looking for you. She seemed worried, although it is hard to read that women. What happened?"
"I don't know. It all seems so silly now. Let's just say I met her family and they aren't very nice."
"Imagine that," Jesy said dryly. "The Royal Family is a bunch of assholes."
Despite feeling sick, this made me laugh. "I know, right? Someone alert the media."
"I can't believe you just made an alert the media joke after making fun of my jokes earlier," Jesy said, sticking her lower lip out in a well-practiced pout.
"I'll admit it's not my freshest material," I said.
"And that girl with Jade what was her name again?" Jesy asked.
"Leigh Anne Pinnock," I said, releasing a pent-up sigh of frustration.
"She was the one in the tabloids, right?"
"The one and only."
"Oh god. I suppose it doesn't help that she's even prettier in person," Jesy said, throwing an arm around my shoulder and leaning against me. "She looks like a bitch."
"That's not just a look." I recounted to Jesy that after Leigh Anne's fake friendly introduction, she'd revealed her true colors. Jesy's eyes narrowed a little with each new piece of information. They were slits by the time I finished.
"What a capital B," Jesy said.
"You totally knew it, too," I said, referencing Jesy's warning look the night before.
She shrugged modestly. "I hoped I was wrong."
"You were right," I admitted. "And the worst part is that I can't tell Jade what she said or how she acted, but it's clear she's done a number on the entire family."
"Someone has to be smart enough to see past her little act."
"Morning!" Jake said he shuffled into the kitchen.
Jesy and I startled apart, and she glared at her fiancé as though he was to blame for our skittishness. I knew exactly why we were on edge. It could just as easily had been Jade walking through the door.
"Lovely to see you Perrie," Jake said, seemingly unaware of our reaction to his entrance. He rambled over and grabbed the kettle from the hob, pouring some hot water for his morning tea. "I didn't get a chance to say hello last night, although I heard you looked fabulous."
"That's not all he heard," Jesy said as she handed him a loaded plate.
He frowned at her, obviously not as impressed with her wit as she was. "Thank you," he said stiffly.
"Of course." She shrugged as if this was no big deal, but I saw the gleam as she turned around. There'd been some question as to her ability to be a proper wife, but certainly having breakfast ready proved a thing or two about that. "Should I make a plate for Jade?"
I hesitated, torn between making certain that she felt welcome and not wanting to disturb her. There was also the fact that I had a hard time imagining Jade sitting down to Saturday morning breakfast. It was too normal.
"Jade is here?" Jake asked, abandoning his fork and knife to stare at us.
"Who on earth did you think was making that noise last night?" Jesy asked.
"A neighbor," Jake responded in a clipped tone. His gaze flickered over me before returning to his plate, but I caught the flash of disgust and pity in his eyes. I'd never been a huge fan of Jake, but this was the final straw. He had no right to look at me that way.
"Ignore him," Jesy ordered me under her breath. Out loud she said, "What does Jade like?"
I wasn't sure. I'd seen her eat a burger, but I had no clue how she took her eggs or if she preferred coffee or tea with her breakfast. These were the kinds of things you were supposed to know about someone before you have slept with them.
"Tea please," Jade said, coming into view. She was dressed in the same clothes from last night but her feet were bare. I ached to tear the clothes off her and take her back to bed where things between us actually made sense. "As for breakfast, everything. I'm starving. I worked up an appetite last night."
Jade flashed me a sly smile that suggested she wasn't simply hungry for food. If she wasn't careful, poor Jake was going to be eating eggs while watching me mount Jade on the counter.
I expected a smart-ass comment from Jesy, but none came and when I turned to goad her, she was staring at Jade with a dreamy expression plastered to her face.
"I'll get it," I said, snatching the plate from her hand and filling it up before she'd even turned to see what was happening.
Jade took a barstool next to Jake, and they sat there quietly. I'd been under the impression they knew one another, but if they did, then they certainly weren't on friendly terms.
Jesy handed me a mug of tea and shrugged, as if to say what can you do?
"What do you want Pez?"
"Oh, I'm fine." There was no way she'd made enough for the four of us.
"Absolutely not. What do you want?" she repeated.
"Some eggs and toast, I guess." There was no use fighting her on it. She'd see the food got in my mouth whether she had to force it down my throat or not.
Jesy shot me a what now look, glancing toward the bar, and I frowned. Jake struck me as a type who often disapproved of people and how they spent their free time. If I had to guess, Jade's past wasn't something he took lightly, and if he had read half the stories that were posted about Jade to sites, I couldn't blame him. But he didn't know her. They were related in some distant way, but that didn't mean they were family.
"What are your plans today?" Jesy asked me, obviously desperate to break the tension in the air.
"Not sure," I said.
"Let's go shopping."
I looked to Jade without meaning to, as if to see if this was okay. But as soon as I realised what I was doing, I shook myself. I didn't have plans with Jade, which made me free to make other plans.
Jade saw the look and spoke up. "I have a family thing, and I'm certain my mother will require a few hours of explanation as to why I left last night."
I mouthed sorry to her, but she shook her head, dismissing the apology, and smiled reassuringly.
"Then let's go!" Jesy clapped her hands in excitement. "There's a new boutique in Notting Hill."
"Notting Hill on a Saturday will be a mad house," Jake threw in, but we both ignored him.
"I need to shower and then we can go," I promised her.
"Are you sure you don't want to come Jade?"
"I would love to Perrie, but duty calls," Jade said grimly.
Next to her, Jake guffawed.
"Is that funny?" Jade asked.
"I find the idea of you and duty rather amusing," Jake admitted.
"Jake!" Jesy protested, but it was too late.
"I served in Afghanistan and Iraq for seven years," Jade said in a low voice, radiating with contempt. "I know more about duty than anyone in this country."
"And what of honor?" Jake asked. "Did you manage to find some over there? Or is it too late for that?"
Jesy's shocked face mirrored mine, but neither of us spoke. We could only watch as Jade stood and stormed to my bedroom, appearing again a moment later, carrying her jacket and shoes.
"You don't have to go," I said in a quiet voice.
"I have things to do," she responded gruffly, moving past me toward the front door.
But she pivoted at the door and grabbed me around the waist, crushing her lips against mine in a possessive display that clearly wasn't meant for me. She was marking me for Jake to see. I knew that I should stop her, but I'd already melted into her. When she broke away, she brushed a finger over my bruised lips and smiled grimly.
"Have fun today."
I swallowed and bobbed my head, doing my best to look chipper. "We will. Notting Hill is my favorite place in London."
Jade paused as if she wanted to say something, but she opened the door instead. "See you soon, love."
It was hardly the farewell I was hoping for. With the integrity of her phone compromised and this morning's disaster, I had no clue when soon might be. A cold chill rippled up my spine as I considered that I might not see her again at all.
Jesy appeared at my side as I shut the door and whispered, "It'll be okay."
Part of me wanted to spin around and yell at her for what Jake had said, but it wasn't her fault. I wasn't feeling so forgiving of Jake though.
By the time I'd showered and pinned my hair back, I was eager to get out of the house and do something normal. Just because I didn't consider shopping a career like my mum didn't mean I couldn't appreciate its ability to distract. Right now, I needed to shut down my overworked brain and more than that, I needed to spend some time with Jesy. I needed her to make me laugh. I needed her to distract me from the mess I'd found myself in.
"You ready?" I yelled, knocking on her door.
"Five minutes!"
I plopped onto the couch and grabbed one of her magazines. Paging through it, I felt like I should take notes. I wasn't accustomed to being trendy or fashionable, but now that I had a real job, I couldn't get by on t-shirts and jeans.
Jake came whistling around the corner, but the tune died on his lips when he saw me. I'd assumed he'd gone after the spat, but apparently not. I stood, a scowl deepening on my face, and headed for my room.
"Perrie, wait!" he called after me.
"I apologise for my behavior," he began, "but you have to understand that I grew up around Jade."
"That's some apology," I hissed.
"Let me explain," he said, ignoring my jibe. "Jade isn't what you think she is. She's a dark soul and she has secrets."
"But let me guess, you know them?" I already knew Jade had darkness in her. Unlike Jake, I'd not only seen it, I'd experienced it.
"No. I've heard the rumors. The ones that get passed around at official functions."
"Didn't your mother ever tell you not to believe everything you hear?"
"I suppose she did," Jake said, "but she also told me to be careful whom I trust. I trust the people who told me about Jade and what she does to women. How she uses them. How twisted she can be when she gets them alone." He took a step closer to me. "So let me ask you this,"
"Perrie do you trust Jade?"
This was hardly news to me, but the question of trust, that was an entirely different story. I considered it for a moment, thinking of the back and forth I'd experienced since I began seeing Jade, but then I thought of her face as she revealed herself to me last night, of the fragile control she'd exhibited when I offered my body to her in any way she needed, and I had my answer. "I do trust her."
"Then I hope for your sake that I'm wrong," Jake said. "Be careful, Perrie."
He disappeared back into Jesy's room, leaving me to question my sanity. Could Jake see what I couldn't? Had I turned a blind eye out of lust or...I shook my head. The alternative was far worse. I forced a smile as Jesy appeared in the doorway.
"Are you ready?" she asked.
I grabbed my purse and gritted my teeth. "Absolutely."

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Hey guys!

So the week is nearly finished and I've kept my promise so far of updating everyday for you guys, so after tomorrow I won't be updating everyday but I will try my best to update as many times as I can during each week especially since I go back to school after next week.

Anyway guys! You have got this book to over 10K reads! Thank you so much :)

See you next update