THE JOURNAL

10

HIS

I can feel the blood rush in my veins.
Adrenaline.

Fuck. Where's my journal?

I run down, pushing people coming up from different direction.

I run as fast as I can. I'm heading to the cafeteria.
I must've left it there.

Shoot!
"Damn it!" I sigh, loudly.
The book is gone- and so does all the sweet-sugary notes I wrote for the love of my life, Sophia Grace.

Who took my journal?
Shit. Who would be interested in a blank, empty, dark, all black book??!

What if Sophia Grace took it? And...
She knows!
Shit... That couldn't and shouldn't happen.
My darling, Sophia..
Damn it. Don't get me wrong but...honestly, its a good thing for her to know but..
She never shows interest in me, she never looks me in the eye,
Whenever I look at her- all she did was look away.
We never talk- if you didn't count our sweet kindergarten moments.

Lord- what should I do?

"Hey.." A voice from behind. I turn my back and see. Francesca.
"Hi." I'm not interested with Frans or other girls.

All I see is, Sophia Grace. Only her.

"So, I heard you're gonna play for tonight's game?"
She's leaning on me. Its... Uncomfortable and made me feel uneasy.

I wrapped my arms around her- a way to escape!
"I, yeah. Hey! Gotta go.!" I push her slowly and just run away from her.
Francesca is not someone I'd date. Plus, she's hitting on every 'male' in school.

HER

It hurts.
It really hurts.

I couldn't help myself from not crying.
The way the hot girl lean on him, and the way he wrapped his arms around her.

I feel stupid.
I feel stupid for having feelings for someone who will never notice my existence.
And here I am. In the school's restroom.
Pouring my heart out.
Crying.
My heart aching. I can feel it breaking.

Why do I have to feel this way? Why do I have this kind of feelings for someone. For a guy who is not even my boyfriend nor a friend.

Seeing him with her hurts me so bad.

Stop it! I shouldn't be crying over a guy who doesn't even know about my existence.
I shouldn't look this pathetic.

I wipe my tears. I wash my face and walk out of the restroom and act like nothing happen.

I sit right next to Alex.
And the feelings of anger, frustration, sad, jealousy- everything is all mixed up.
I could squeeze his beautiful face so hard right now-- but he's too adorable to handle.

"Sophia?" I heard his voice calling me.
WTF do you want from me is what I wanna ask him now.
I just literally give him that 'I-am-so-pissed-off-now-but-what-do-you-want-cutie' look.

"Your leg.." His voice is shaking. I look down
And oh-
I stepped on his feet.
"Sorry." I said with my coldest intonation ever.

As I was trying to concentrate on the studies, a piece of paper is placed right in front of me.

hey.. wanna go and see me play on the game tonight? I'll fetch u - A :)

I look at him. Unbelievable!
Is he asking me out for a freaking date????!!
I am freaking out now.
What to do... What to say...

"Sorry, I have plans."
I said and look away.

Shit.
I bite my lips hard.
I might hurt his feelings but he's leaving me with no choice.

"Sophie..."

I just walk as fast as I could. I just need some timeout for the time being g