The Abuser

The Letter

I am sorry this is always how it goes. The wind blows loudest when you've got your eyes closed. But I never changed a single color that I breathe, so you could have tried to take a closer look at me. I am tired of punching in the wind. I am tired of letting it all in, and I should eat you up and spit you right out. I should not care but I don't know how.

- Organs by Of Monsters and Men

.....

I can't believe it. I sit, staring at the fireplace- a letter from James in front of me. It flutters gently in a draft. First, it was Hermione; she was found earlier today in the library. Petrified. My best friend! And now she is frozen as stiff as Draco's over-gelled hair. Okay, I think without a smile, stiffer. More like a rock. My best friend is now a statue. To top it off, Harry and Ron have decided to go hunting that damn monster. They told me that they might die! I can't lose my only other friends too! There's James though. James, I think, a tear rolling down my cheek. I wipe it away hurriedly. I'm uncomfortably aware of Draco lounging on a couch behind me.

I turn the letter over in my hands. James hadn't returned from Christmas break, but his letters told me not to worry. He simply said that his mother had wanted to vacation for a few extra months in France so he would be returning later in the season. It was just this morning that my Snowy owl dropped this new letter off for me. With Hermione petrified I had been too busy and upset to open it, until a few moments ago.

James is the only boy who I've ever cared about in that special way. I loved him and now...

"Mother has purchased us a manor in France. She said that the climate agrees with her more. Hazel, love, she's forcing me to attend Beauxbatons. I've told her that I won't but there's no escaping it. My dear, I will always, truly love you. You are my first girl, and my best friend. You will always be in my heart, and I pray that I will be in yours; however, I understand that we can no longer have the same relationship as before. I would wish to keep up our friendship and correspondence, but I release you from our romance. You deserve to be with someone who will be there, right beside you, something that I can no longer do. I wish you the best, and hope that you find another boy who will treat you like the precious jewel that you are. All my love- James Marcus."

I can't control my tears as I reread the letter by the light of the fire, bursting out into wild sobs and burying my face in my arms. I'm quiet; just obviously not quiet enough to remain unnoticed.

"Something wrong, Snufflepuff?" Draco drawls. I can practically see picture the malicious smirk with which he says these words.

I turn on him, uncomfortably aware of the tears streaming down my cheeks. I snatch up the letter and thrust it onto his chest. "Here- take this. Maybe it will help you realize that you're not the only damn person in the universe." I run from the room, covering my face in my arms. James...James! Not you too! Why does everyone I love keep leaving me? Is this because I'm simply not good enough? Is my insufficiency bringing this upon myself? Am I simply to ugly or stupid? Why?!

...Draco's POV....

I roll my eyes, unfolding the letter lazily. Such a drama queen! And she really needs to get a check on that mouth. So foul! I think as I glance up at DeLuce's retreating back. I actually admire her spunk, and the refined way with which she manages to cut me down. I glance over the letter, unconcernedly. My eyes widen instinctively as the meaning sinks in. A tiny fraction of me actually pities her; she's literally lost nearly every person that she's loved.

I set the letter down, staring up at the ceiling. Damn. She's alone now. I hate the idea, hate my thoughts about her, and the oddly happy feeling that I get from the letter. Well, it's not entirely happy... maybe a bit angry and perhaps a touch sad. It makes me feel good, though. I snap my fingers in annoyance, groaning. Alone! It's going to be so much harder staying away from her. But maybe now- maybe I could show her that I really do care about someone else. I care about her, I'm sure of it. I would protect her if she was in danger, I think, and I don't like seeing her with that Marcus. But then again, the shame of admitting that I'm sorry for everything that I've said to her- that would be beyond humiliating. Besides, there're my parents; they'd never let me have any sort of a relationship with someone like her!

I close my eyes, thinking rather uncomfortably about how much she hates me. She does, I'm sure of it. She looks at me with such intense passion- but it isn't the same passion that I feel. It's anger and disgust shining in her dark eyes, not desire. Why?! Why did I just have to go and catch feelings? I ask myself bitterly. And why for her? Couldn't it have been some other girl?

DeLuce, I am sure, is utterly unattainable. She will never belong to me and so there's clearly no point in wasting my life; pining for her. I'm sick of wanting her, then hurting her for the sheer sake of having an effect on her life. "I'm done." I say aloud, standing. "I'm so done with everything. There's no point even trying. She's going to pay for putting me through this! Never again will anyone ever doubt that I hate her. If she won't love me, she'll fear me. I can't just live my life torn like this. I'm a Malfoy! I can do what I please." I rip the letter from her precious ex-boyfriend in two, tossing it into the fire.

...DeLuce's POV.....

"Harry! Ron!" I scream as I run to great them. They are filthy; caked in dirt, blood, and sweat, but I don't care. "Thank God you're both still alive!"

Harry Potter did it. He really killed the basilisk, the monster in that's been terrorizing our school. I had been so scared when we hugged goodbye, before he found the Chamber of Secrets. But here they were; he and Ron were still alive. Hermione will be un-petrified soon- and I would have my best friend back!

I sigh in relief as Ron kisses my cheek lightly. "Geez, DeLuce. You sound like my mum."

I chuckle, not even caring that we are standing in the great hall and literally everyone is watching us. I hug them both again, almost crying from relief. Suddenly the door opens and Hermione runs in, her arms open wide and her frizzy hair bouncing behind her. She runs into Harry's arms and they embrace, then she awkwardly shakes hands with Ron.

"Hazel! Goodness, I've missed you! You look wonderful!" She squeezes me tight. "So, how's James? Are you two still going strong?'

I stiffen, and she pulls away to look at me. "Wha- What's wrong?" Hermione glances at Harry who mouths something to her.

"Um..." I choke softly, searching for words to say, and praying that I don't bust into tears. "He moved to France. He's at Beauxbatons now. We had to break up."

Hermione embraces me gently, her soft eyes shining with true sorrow. "I'm so sorry. I know you loved him and he loved you too. I'm so sorry."

The Golden Trio invites me to eat with them, but I decline. "You need time to catch up; besides, you should celebrate your victory! Gryffindor wins the house cup again! Congratulations." I say with smile. "I'll see you on the train tomorrow."

I take an empty eat at the Slytherin table in a corner with no one else. Draco is watching me bitterly, but I don't continue to look his way. I hear soft laughter. A few Slytherins are staring and pointing at me; passing whispers down the table. My shoulders slump as I stare at my untouched food. Draco. Why did he always have to make my life hell? I'm clearly hurting. Only someone with no soul would laugh at me now.