Young God [GirlxGirl]

14. Almost

Sorry if I made you feel like // I'm standing on the borderline // Am I in love with you? // Or am I in love with the feeling? // Trying to find the truth // Sometimes the heart is deceiving // The Feeling, Justin Bieber ft. Halsey

New Jersey, 2 Years Earlier:

It was a nice day. Nicer, Violet thought, than perhaps it should have been on a day like today. It didn't seem at all fitting for the sun to be shining so bright when her thoughts were so dark; when tears were falling freely from her eyes and her mascara was streaked boldly across her cheeks for all the world to see. Perhaps if it had been raining then the tears would have been less noticeable. Perhaps if it had been raining then people would have been so busy trying to keep themselves dry that they wouldn't have noticed the teenage girl with electric blue hair jogging through the streets in a black dress and black heels. Perhaps.

But it wasn't raining, so instead many passers by stopped to stare at Violet until the second she bound up the front steps towards a house that wasn't her own and rapped harshly on the front door. A moment passed before it swung open from the inside, revealing a boy her age wearing a similarly dark suit.

"Violet?" Matt regarded the tears and mascara and reddened eyes with visible concern. "Come in, what's going on?"

Violet choked back another sob as she slipped inside, glad to be away from the prying eyes of the rest of the world. Matt closed the door behind her and followed her into the lounge. She was wringing her hands together anxiously, taking a moment to calm her breathing down and conjure a way to sift through her racing thoughts and articulate what exactly was on her mind.

"I..." Violet perched on the edge of the sofa and locked her hands together atop her lap. "The funeral - I'm supposed to speak. I'm supposed to say something about them, in front of all those people, in front of my friends and family and strangers. How am I supposed to speak about my parents for ten minutes without breaking down? How am I supposed to sum up their combined existence in just a few words? I don't - I can't do it. I can't."

"Hey, listen to me." Matt picked up a box of tissues from the table and handed them to her. "If anyone can do this, it's you. I'll be there the whole time, so just, you know, find me in the crowd if you're struggling. And Liam's flying in from London right? I'm sure-"

"Oh, god. Liam." Violet hadn't seen Liam since before her parents died. They'd talked a couple of times on the phone, but their conversations had been brief, mostly due to Violet feeling like she was on the verge of a breakdown towards the end of each call. "What do I say to him now? I don't know if I can cope with seeing him cry. Or with letting him see me cry. I can't go, I can't do this. It's too much."

Matt stood uncertainly in front of Violet. He didn't know the words to say to calm her down; he didn't know the words she wanted to hear - the words she needed to hear. He felt like he should know. Violet was his girlfriend, after all, and yet...

"It'll be fine." Is all he said, knowing even as the words left his mouth that they weren't the right ones. "Everything will be okay."

"Everything will be okay? Seriously?" Violet looked up at Matt through the moisture in her eyes and frowned. "For the past two weeks, ever since my parents died, that is all you've said to me. Do you even know the meaning of the word? I can't imagine you do, because if you did then you wouldn't keep tossing it in my face!"

Matt stiffened up, unsure of how to act in their current situation. And as he froze, considering what next to say or do, Violet only got angrier at waiting.