Fearless

Chapter 6

2016- Present

"So Lauren tell me, what do you remember about the day you and Lisa were kidnapped?"

The therapist sat in a large, leather chair behind a small, wooden desk in front of Laur and I while tapping her foot patiently, awaiting Lauren's response to her question. Taking one glance at the Ladybug sitting beside me on the firm couch I knew she didn't intend on giving an answer. Feeling my gaze on her, Lauren's sweaty hand held on to mine for dear life and I saw tears well up in her beautiful brown eyes as she recalled all that we had been through for years. I was sure that her glossy eyes would give way and fat tear drops would roll down her soft cheeks despite her best efforts to keep them at bay. She does this every week that our family makes us go to the therapist's, I guess she just hates reliving the memories. For me personally talking my feelings out helps a lot but Lauren is the worst at expressing herself and bottles up her emotions. She always has, she'll put on a smile for anyone and puts others before herself so much that sometimes I worry she hardly thinks about herself at all. 

I rubbed her white knuckles with my thumb as the therapist sighed discouragingly and tried a different question hoping this time Lauren would supply her with an answer. 
"Lauren, you need to let your walls down and allow others in to your life again. I know that may sound scary, but believe it or not most people don't want to hurt you. Your family and I want to help you but we can't do that if you don't let us in. Let's start off simple. How are the both of you feeling?"

I answered the question first knowing Lauren would take a little more time to answer if she even did at all. 
"I'm happy most of the time, I still can't get over the fact that we're back home with our family and safe. It is a lot to take in at once though so I'm still trying to get used to it all. Sometimes I get worried though."

"Worried? About what, Lisa?"

"Well the usual P.T.S.D (A/N PTSD stands for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) stuff. Like that we'll get taken again and that this is all too good to be true, that everyone is out to get me and Lauren, that I'm being lied to. But also, I worry a lot about Lauren. I worry that she won't recover like I will because I didn't do a good enough job of protecting her when we were young and now she's scarred for life. I worry that she doesn't trust people enough to let her guard down and so she bottles up her emotions. That one day because of that she'll do something she'll really regret and I'll be able to do nothing about it."

I had tears in my eyes as I really spoke what I was feeling, it was nice to get it out into the air for Lauren to hear so she knew how I felt. So she knew that the way she behaves not only affects her but affects me as well. She turned her head slightly so her brown eyes met mine and at once it was like I could see right through her. I could see all her pent up anger, rage, frustration. Her built up sadness, hopelessness, and loss. But most prevalent in her big doe eyes was fear.  She was so scared, of everything and it killed me to realize that maybe I truly had reason to worry about my little ladybug. 

"I didn't know you felt like that Lisa, I'm sorry."

"I don't want to hear sorry, I want to hear what you're thinking when you wake up from a bad dream in a terrible sweat every night. I want to hear your thoughts when you cry by yourself in the shower when you think no one can hear your sobs. I wan't to know how you feel, Lauren. You've always been there for me and I'm supposed to be the 'big sister'. Please Ladybug, don't shut me out."

Lauren shook her head as the faucet in her eyes turned allowing a flood of tears to pour down her flushed cheeks. She took one look at me and spoke so softly her voice was hardly a broken whisper.
"I don't need any help."

 I whimpered slightly as Lauren pried her clammy hand away from mine,stood up from her spot on the couch beside me, walked out of the small, friendly office, and quietly slammed the light door behind her as she left the room. Awkward silence and unspoken words filled the now empty spot she occupied moments before.

Her words echoed in my mind as the therapist just sat at her desk dumbfounded. 
Maybe we're too late. 

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Hey guys! Just thought I'd let you know in case you hadn't already noticed, the pattern for this story  is that every other chapter is either set in the past or set in the present. If you were curious, Chelsea writes all of the chapters set in the past and I write the ones set in the present such as this one.^^^ Hopefully you're enjoying the story so far, thank you everyone who's left a sweet comment or voted for one of the Chapters. We really appreciate the amazing support!!! <3 ILY Guys!!

XxEleven