State of Confusion

Chapter 11

- CHRISTIAN -

Five days. Five long and grueling days of torture he spent with his phone permanently attached to him. Day and night he found himself picking it up mindlessly in hope that she would call, text, or email. Every time the familiar ping or vibration drew his attention back to the small rectangular device his heart would skip in hope that it was her, but it never was. Why hadn't she contacted him yet?

He took a leap of faith that day in her quaint, but cramped kitchen as his body was set on fire. The turn of events that had led him from an innocent attempt to make amends to a full blown make-out session on her behalf still rattled fresh inside his brain. Her urgent lips tasted divine. Her hands searched him like an undiscovered map. He wanted that again, badly. It was all he could think about, and yet, he tried so hard to keep it locked away. The more he replayed the scene and depicted every detail like a sports analysis, the more he disconnected from the world around him. That was something he simply could not do, but she had left her mark. She was imprinted in his mind, on his body, and in his heart. How could one woman, one beyond frustrating woman do this to him?

Focus, Grey, he tried to shake the thought of her as quick as it came flooding back. It was nearly impossible to have any sort of concentration when she lingered around like she did.

The message he had left her had been abrupt and bold, just like the way she had kissed him. He had not expected that. He had been sure that day he would have walked away from her place empty handed. However, he was granted the confirmation he had sought for from the moment he laid eyes on her. The feeling was mutual. It ripped at the seams to be explored, but her reservations and morality always seemed to win. It angered him that every time she let down her guard and embraced him, she was quick to shield herself at a moment's notice. But could he blame her? He had wronged her from the moment their lives collided, literally. How could he possibly be mad when she had every right to turn him away?

The Ana file in his brain had officially begun to overflow. He had no other option but to turn his back and leave as soon as he did that day. Her mixed signals had become too much. While she had confirmed for him what he wanted to know, he could not longer be the pursuer. If this was ever going to be something more than a one-sided game, he had to put the ball in her court with that message.Thanks for the confirmation. When you're ready, I'll be waiting. And so, he did.

Running his hand down his face and stroking his chin, he sighed heavily. Five days. The waiting game had begun to take its toll. Maybe his expectations had been too high. Surely, she would have popped back into his life by now. Instead, he remained with an empty void of hope that was slowly diminished before him.

A soft knock on the door drew him from his plummet of internal sorrow. He raised his eyes from his lap to the man who slipped into his office with a strained look of concern written across his face.

"So, all the whispers are true. You are in the building today." Mr. Lincoln noted. His crisp, clean suit moved almost as elegantly as he did.

His arrival through the revolving doors of Lincoln Corporations had caused quite a stir of curiosity. It had been publicized that upon his accident and recovery process he was not due back until he felt apt to fit and uphold his role with the company, or something along those lines. But for fuck sakes, if he had to endure another day in his apartment with the constant flow of wedding vendors that Elena had to meet with, he would lose it. His level of concentration there was shit, but so far since he stepped back into his office it seemed to be about the same. Different distraction, though.

The wedding. The big day. Unlike Elena, the stress that had stemmed from all of the planning did not weigh heavy on him as it did for her. From the moment he proposed, she had been in full swing with all the arrangements. She took full responsibility and control regarding their marital nuptials, and he was perfectly fine with that. His focus needed to be on the company that he would soon have under his feet. The power and control were within reach, but he could not do so