State of Confusion

Chapter 13

- ANA -

She had kissed him. She had pounced on him like a wild predator who had finally stalked its prey long enough.

Who was she? Who was this girl that fulfilled her wildest dreams and broke free from the chains that held her constantly in place? It was like he beckoned her unknowingly to act out in ways that she could not fully comprehend.

Her past exploration with the male form had been limited, but that meant nothing to her inner temptress. This skewed version of herself did not care nor had any intentions of taking a moment to think. That was the problem when it came to Christian. When she wasn't wrapped up in her blanket of morally conscious self-righteousness, she didn't think. She reacted and lately that was dangerous waters to tread.

Frankly, she didn't know half the time whether she would sink or swim in the moment when she was with him, and that scared her. It terrified her to know that a man like him could sway her emotions in two very different directions. The red flag that waved high and violently told her that the further she involved herself with him, the more complicated it would get. She was fully aware of that, and yet that still couldn't halt her from letting go momentarily.

Damn him and damn her!

The careless behavior she portrayed as she felt his mouth on hers created an intense display of fireworks inside her head. She was happily aroused with being pressed up against him. She focused on the way he moved and tasted. It could not completely eliminate the noise of that damn red flag, though. It flapped against her skull where her conscious pounded loudly to be heard, but she ignored it to the best of her ability. This was no time to be reasonable even if that was totally messed up in her case. For just a moment, she wanted to not think about her accident or how it affected her life. She didn't want to harp on Christian who caused her so much pain. She didn't want to judge herself for the attraction she felt toward him when it was beyond wrong. And she definitely didn't want to acknowledge that bizarre connection they had that lingered in the background. All she wanted was to be a girl who desperately wanted to feel free and alive in the arms of a man who clearly wanted her. And so, she let herself be that girl.

Ana moved her small hands wildly from his thick hair to the top of his muscular arms. Her fingers curled perfectly around his biceps that she gently squeezed. She wondered how a well-sculpted man like himself could ever reciprocate what she felt in that moment for him back to her. Their match-up bewildered her. A girl like her just didn't belong with a guy like him. She was ordinary while he was extraordinary.

She caught wind of her doubt and quickly she squashed it. This was no time to revert back to her old, boring and sensible self. Not yet. As she felt Christian's needy hands glide down her back and rest on her hips, she moaned. It was a half pleasurable, half painful kind of moan. He had touched a tender spot that had been bruised from the accident. No apology came, but nothing needed to be said as he released the pressure from her hips and caressed the tiniest exposed skin on her back. Every hair on her body stood straight up.

"Let's move this somewhere more intimate," he suggested in a mumbled voice upon her lips.

Her body chilled from his tone of voice. Not only had the thrill of his suggestion excited her, it also had done something else. Something she couldn't decipher just yet. The barriers that had been built to stop all outside forces from raining on her parade had begun to wear, but she had to persevere through it if she wanted to separate herself from reality for the time being. It was easier said than done.

As she nodded her head in agreement, she slipped her bottom lip between her teeth. More intimate? Her heart raced at the thought of where her leap of faith in him was about to take them. The idea of privacy was welcome with opens arms as they were exposed to not only Mother Nature but the public too. But where exactly would they find privacy on this vessel that floated steadily now out on the lake?