remember december? // styles

Chapter Eleven: Littlest Things

Chapter Eleven - Littlest Things

Miley's POV

Your hand fits in mine like it's made just for me, but bear this is mind, it was meant to be.

    I hate myself.

And I'm joining up the dots with the freckles of your cheeks and it all makes sense to me.

I weigh too much, I hate how people spat how heavy I was.

I know you've never loved, the crinckles by your eyes when you smile you've never loved, your stomach or your thighs, the dimples in your back at the bottom of your spine, but I'll love them endlessly.

I don't even know why did Harry fall for a person like me, I wasn't really that gorgeous; I wasn't that beautiful; no one will ever love a girl like me.

I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth, but if I do, it's you, oh it's you, they add up to, I'm in love with you and all these little things.

But I was thankful, thankful that Harry is always there for me. To whisper comforting things, to show his reassuring smile to me, and to just hold me and shush me while I cry and cry and just cry.

You can't go to bed, without a cup of tea, and maybe that's the reason that you talk in your sleep, and all those conversations are the secrets that I keep, though it makes no sense to me.

A long time ago, Harry would always make me a cup of tea, it's not that he makes me one because I talk to my sleep, but, he just wants me to know how much he loves me. In every cold winter nights, he would make me a soup, always using his great cooking skills, and all these things he did to me, seriously made me smile.

I know you've never loved the sound of your voice on tape, you never want to know how much you weigh, you still have to squeeze into your jeans but, you're perfect to me.

I remembered the time that I ran out of jeans, those jeans were the only jeans that fits for me. I was panicking, I didn't know what to do, because that day, I promised Harry that I'll come with him for a picnic. I ended up on my old fitted jeans, I squeezed them so it'll fit, I hardly breathed that day, but it was worth it, I spent my day with Harry.

 I won't let these little things, slip out of my mouth, but if I do, it's you oh it's you they add up to, and I'm in love with you, and all these little things.

"Harry! Where is my crisps? Did you eat it?" I once said to Harry, while I was searching for my junk food. "What crisps?" He once asked while he was standing there, only wearing his superman boxers and holding my bag of crisps in his hands. "Oh.. I thought it was Niall's. Oh well, we can share, right?" He once pulled the bag of crisps to me so that I could get one, he was even frowning and kind of looks guilty because he didn't ask permission to eat my crisps. But it was okay for me.

You'll never love yourself half much as I love you, you'll never treat yourself right darlin' but I want you to, if I let you know, I'm here for you and maybe you'll love yourself, like I, love you oh.

A year ago, when I was at Twitter, I found myself crying on my the bedroom me and Harry share at our flat, crying. Then, reality hit me, I was reading their hates. It's like they're bullying me with full of hatred words. You don't deseve Harry; You're too ugly for him; He's just doing it for the media; Fat, attention whore, slut, ugly, bitch. The hates goes on and on. It wouldn't stop. I was tired, so that day, I cut, I cut my pale skin using the broken vase I just broke because of my anger. I found myself, laying on the floor, crying again, but this time, I saw blood, red dark blood coming out from my pale skin. But before I could breathe my last breath, Harry saved me, but he was disappointed at me. Though I was still thankful.