A mask and A twitch

An empty lost feeling and a chance at a good thing

There was a quiet knocking at Toby's door which he was hoping was just the wind. He curled the covers closer to him and buried his head into his pillow. He couldn't do anything right. Even his damn emotions were out to get him!!

"Toby...Toby?" The knocking became a bit louder and speed up before it stopped all together. There was an audible sigh followed by words "Toby I'm going to come in now" he heard the floor boards creek and the handle turn. He wanted to yell and scream at Tim, how dare he make him feel anything like this. More importantly how dear he intrude his fortress of self pity.

Tim was a bit lost himself. Questions swirled about behind his eyes and his knees felt a bit weak at the idea that there was something very wrong between him and Toby. Had he said the wrong thing? Had he reacted in a way that scared toby? The hell had happened back there?! Regardless Tim needed to make sure Toby was okay at the very least. Masky was a bit new at the romance stuff, but this was what he was supposed to do right?

Tim opened the door and stepped into the small room. It was a plain dark room with a large window that had been almost completely covered with papers. He wondered if Toby ever turned on the lights before remembering that he had only ever been in here at night. Quietly he made his way to the bed and sat down on the edge. "Toby? Your breathing right?" His voice had a bit of humour in it, but after the question was asked it became an all to real possibility and dread began to set in.

"Yea, I I am still k kicking" A small voice stuttered under the blanket and Masky's nerves settled instantly.

"You okay?" This seemed like the most logical question, but Tim figured the answer was fairly obvious so it was probably a stupid thing to ask.

"W wh what do you t think smart guy?" Toby pulled the blanket back and sat up. He smiled an over exaggerated smile and then turned his expression to neutral. "N no not really"

"What's wrong?"

"What's r right?" Tim shot Toby a look and a smirk crossed the smaller boys face. Tim stared on and the smirk fell. "I'm sorry, I I I don't k know okay?! I w wish I knew wh what to tell you but I I don't" Toby's eyes fell on Tim's for a second and Tim's heart stopped. There was so much behind them, a hurricane, a storm stronger then he had ever seen in anyone else's, even in his own. Toby was crazy he knew this, hell he was too, but no ones eyes should seem that broken. Tim felt a tugging in his stomach, he wanted to reach out and grab Toby and hold him close but he couldn't get his body to move.

"Why did you run away?" Tim stared at his hands, this was the answer he needed right?

"D dunno" Toby looked towards the ceiling, God he really was pathetic wasn't he.

"Yes you do" Tim's voice was firm and border line intimidating but Toby was used to this side of him. The side that was all orders and no care. This was something he didn't know he needed, some sort of authority to bring order to his little slice of chaos.

"Y yeah I do" Toby repeated. He knew what was about to happen. He was. going to cry, in front of Masky. He was going to completely break down and tell him everything and it was going to hurt. More importantly He was going to regret it afterwords. He could feel the build up of water behind his eyes and clenched his fists. "Y yeah I I do"

"Toby...do you want to talk about it?" Masky's question was answered when Toby began to shake his head. It began as a small movement and quickly became a violent gesture. Toby's neck cracked and he stopped. He blinked twice and twitched before diving into Tim's arms. There was so much to say and no words that could properly explain it. Just an empty feeling that hurt in ways Toby wasn't able to understand. He didn't know physical pain but if it was anything like this, he figured if he could feel it, he would feel it everywhere and it would be excruciating.

Tim was surprised at first but quickly wrapped his arms around Toby. "Listen okay, you don't have to talk but...if you don't mind I would like to say something. This is probably horrible timing but if your willing?" Toby nodded into Tim's chest and Tim was sure Toby could feel his heart beat. He wasn't nervous about rejection, he just needed Toby to know.

"I'm gay...or at least somewhat, I know that's a weird start but it will make sense when I've finished speaking. Point is I'm kinda gay. I haven't been to interested in forming a relationship with anyone aside from a friendship with hoody. But I get lonely and I stay up at night. I know your hurting Toby and I know I can't fix it but I would like to help you get through it, because there's something in you that helps me sleep at night and there's something in you that deserves love too. And I love you in someway, what ever way you need me I'm yours" Tim took a breath "look at me Toby" toby looked up. "Say something."

"That's k kinda a lot to to spring on s someone isn't i it?" Toby smiled. It was small and weak but it was genuine and it made Masky's heart flip.

"Yeah I know, I know I'm not great at these things but I love you and I figured you needed to hear it"

"I I could l love you t too" Tim's heart stopped for a split second. Could?

"Could?" Tim's mouth felt dry, this wasn't rejection, but what was it?

"Y yeah, I could l love you"