Stockholm Syndrome

The Fear Response

His eyes widened in shock as his mouth formed an 'o' shape. He keep opening and closing his mouth, trying to form words, but they kept eluding him. I pressed my finger against his lips to shush him.

"I wasn't the one who literally killed them... but if I hadn't told them about what Max and Tom had done to Louis and I... they'd still be alive," I said, my voice barely a whisper. I felt Liam's lips move as soon as I removed my hand. His eyes were still clouded with confusion, but he wasn't hounding me for answers. Yet.

"So I was right," Liam murmured, to himself more than me, as he shook his head. "Those bastards are why you're too sacred to tell the truth." His eyes met mine again, searching for any sign of confirmation. I couldn't hide the fact that Max and John terrified me. I couldn't lie and say I wasn't scared even after I'd been under police protection. I knew that, as messed up as I felt, I couldn't hide anything from Liam. It was written all over my face, and Liam knew. He knew without me having to give any verbal message that he was right.

Liam bit his lower lip, threading it between his teeth, as he sat with me in silence. I could see the gears turning in his head, his eyes flicking back and forth, unfocused on what was in front of him but clearly focused on something. All of the sudden the gears stopped and he pulled me into another bone crushing embrace. I blinked, a little taken aback, but I didn't hesitate to wrap my arms around the lad.

"I've got it figured out," Liam explained as he released me from the hug. "I know exactly how to help you."

"How?" I stammered, unsure but curious all the same about Liam's revelation.

"You're scared that someone will get hurt," he started, his eyes never leaving me. I gave a slight incline of my head, confirming what I'd already told him. "I don't know how to make you less scared, because to honest I don't think I'd handle the situation any better, but that fear is misplaced."

"Misplaced?" I frowned as I titled my head slightly the right, his eyes blinking rapidly as I tried to wrestle the meaning out of what he's just said. My fear in max and John hurting other people was misplaced? No, that didn't make sense. It was totally rational to be scared of those two. John had proven that he was perfectly able, and willing, to go to any length he thought necessary to cover up the trail of crimes that Max and Tom committed. I'd seen the things that they were capable of first hand and there was no doubt in my mind that I should be scared of them.

"Yeah, like fear is the body's natural response right?" Liam continued, shifting slightly to get in a more comfortable position on the couch. "And I remember hearing somewhere that there are two paths that fear can go down. Fight or flight."

I wrinkled my nose up at Liam's attempt to be philosophical. Did he really think some dumb saying he probably picked up from twitter held the answers to my, very serious, and very dangerous situation? Ha, I doubted it.

At my sour expression he tried to explain further, his voice going up a pitch, as he desperately tried to make me understand his illogical theory. "It's like the minute before we go on stage, like all that nervousness? You can get up on that stage and start singing, or you can let all those nerves get to you and never leave the dressing room."

At this I shook my head. That he was comparing stage fright to being the reason two people had died... that two friends died... it was hardly a comparison.

Liam sighed when he realized that I wasn't buying in on his crazy idea. "Maybe, maybe it'll make more sense if I put bluntly. You can either run away from your fears or you can face them. I don't mean to say this to upset you Ni, but you're not thinking about this logically. You aren't the reason those people got hurt, they got hurt because Max and Tom were scared of you. Of what could happen to them if you told people what happened, if you told the truth."

A shiver ran down my spine, chilling my entire body, at Liam's words. I though he was the one being illogical, being crazy, talking about stage fright. But now? The idea that Max and Tom had been scared of me? It did make sense. It made perfect sense.

"So to make sure that they kept control over the whole situation, they had to make you just as scared of them as they were of you. They had to make sure that you didn't realize the power you possessed over them," Liam murmured as he placed a hand on my shoulder. The contact of his warm hand on my now cold body sent another shiver down my back. "That's why they killed those people. To make you feel guilty, like it was your fault."

I nodded, a little dazed at the realization that Liam was right. It didn't make me feel any better about what had happened to Ed and Dr. Hanks. It didn't make me feel any less guilty that they got hurt. But I didn't feel like I was the one who sentenced them to death anymore. I'd probably still have nightmares, but it wouldn't be me pulling the trigger, sending the flying bullet into Dr. Hanks and Ed's heart.

"I guess to wrap it up, the fight or flight thing? When you're faced with something scary, you can either run away from it or you can fight to change your position," Liam explained as he picked up his coffee mug and brought to his lips eagerly. I'd imagine with all the talking he'd been doing he was thirsty.

"And I've been running away," I mused as I stared down into the bottom of my own, nearly empty, mug.

"Yes, but because you had to." A pause as he took a sip. "But now you can fight to make things better. Your fear was misplaced because you already got yourself out of that situation, now you don't need to run anymore."

I nodded. I felt a churning in my stomach. Not fear, but something else. Not anger, but similar in a way. I felt a burning sensation. Like I absolutely had to do something or I'd just explode inside. I was still scared, but I was able to swallow it down. I knew what Liam had been hinting at now, saying that my fear had been misplaced. I needed to stop running and face Max, Tom, and John. I needed to stop running and start fighting.

I needed to fight for Louis.

I smiled, a wide, genuine smile. The one that I gave to my fans. The one that I couldn't contain when the lads and I bantered. The one that reached every part of my soul. The one that made me feel like nothing was wrong in the world.

My voice carried the confidence of someone who had absolute certainty as I spoke. "I'm ready to talk to Detective Watson. I'm ready to tell him the truth and I know exactly where to start."

~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~

HEY EVERBODY I'm back ~♡

Here's the next chapter for your viewing pleasure.

I can't put a number on the chapters, but we moving through the plot pretty rapidly now. There shouldn't be any more filler chapters.

I don't think I can appologize for make you wait so long, but life happens. I'm still here and still writing!

I'm had a problem feeling motivated to write, I have the plot, but all the stuff going on with 1D had me kinda down. It was hard to write about them being such a close group of guys when right now they are so far apart. Sorry for the feels. That being said I won't ever give up on them. So there.

Enjoy the awesome video by Green Screen Kid. They are an up and coming band near my childhood howmtown. Sadly I don't like there so I can't see them- but these guys are so uplifting and inspirational! They write all thier own songs and do some amazing covers. Please support them!

All the love ~ ♡ IndieChick95