Stockholm Syndrome

Confessions over Coffee

"So you haven't told him anything yet?" Liam asked me, curiosity brimming in his soft chocolate brown eyes.

"No," I sighed as I shook my head, my bottom lip positioned between my teeth. After meeting the boys at the station Detective Watson had allowed me to leave with them and go back to the safe house to catch up. He thought that spending time with my mates and Simon would help me open up, and he made sure to have all the boys pester me about talking. He said I could talk to him whenever I felt ready, but I knew he was pressuring me. Currently Liam and I were sitting beside each other on the couch drinking coffee. Liam said he just wanted to catch up, but the conversation quickly turned to a subject that I refused to talk about.

Liam nodded his head slightly, a small smile forming on his round face as he ruffled my hair affectionately. "I'm sure you will when you feel ready. No one's going to force you, but the sooner you tell them what's going on the sooner they can find Louis and but those bastards behind bars."

Another sigh escaped my lips as my eyes traveled from Liam's face down into the bottom of my coffee cup. I knew that what my friend was saying was true, and he made it sound so easy, but for me it was a lot more complicated than that. Physically I knew I was safe from Max and John, I had several police officers assigned to watch me, I was staying at a covert location that was hidden away from the rest of the world, and I had my management and my band mates, but I still didn't feel safe. No increase in the number of officers in my security detail could dispel my fear that something terrible would happen to whoever I spoke to. I knew that my fear was illogical, pathetic even, that the danger was all in my head. If I told Liam and Detective Watson the odds were that nothing would bad happen, that everything would be just fine, but I'd learned that there was no such thing as an absolute guarantee. I could say I was ninety-nine point nine percent sure that no harm would come if I talked, but... there was a point zero one percent chance that I was wrong. And the 'but' of what could happen was torturing me.

"So you won't talk then, even to me Ni?" Liam sighed as he let his hand fall from the top of my head to my waist, he pulled me closer. His eyes met mine, his were filled with questions and mine were filled with fear and doubt. "We just want to help you Niall..."

I adverted my gaze, unable to take the sadness held in Liam's face. He was trying so hard to help me feel safe, but he couldn't save me from the nightmares and ghosts that haunted me every time I closed my eyes. He couldn't understand what it was like to be the reason that two people had died... that Ed and Dr. Hanks' deaths had been my fault. My lower lip began to tremble as Liam pulled me into a hug. Tears building behind my eyes as I snuggled into the warm embrace, Liam's strong arms holding my tightly. He wanted to help me, but he didn't understand how scared I was. I was terrified of hurting him.

A frown formed on Liam's face and his eyebrows knitted together in confusion as my salty tears dropped onto the warm tattooed skin of his arm. It mere seconds for his to register that I was crying, and immediately his tilted his face to look up at him, his eyes wide with concern. "What's wrong Ni? Did I say something that upset you? Am I hugging you too tight?"

I shook his head, trying to stop myself from crying more, but ever since I'd been taken I'd become a ball of nerves. I couldn't help it as more tears slid down my cheeks.

"Niall?" Liam frowned as he gently used the pad of his thumb to brush the tears from my eyes.

"I... I'm scared okay?" I croaked out in shaky breathes as I rubbed at the tears running down my face, sniffling to stop my nose from running.

"What are you sacred of? Is it Max?" Liam asked his voice remained gentle, but his eyes narrowed. Liam was going into 'Daddy' mode, he was always super defensive when it came to someone hurting any of us boys hence the nickname, but he got so intense... whoever had hurt us always regretted it and usually never crossed Liam again. While it was true that Max and John had hurt me, that wasn't why I scared.

"N-no," I muttered as I shook my head. "It's not Max."

Confusion was evident on his face. "Then who? I can't protect you if I don't know who hurt you."

"Liam... I'm scared that you'll get hurt," I whimpered as I looked up at him with teary eyes. The confused expression on his face remained in place as he tilted his head slightly to the right.

"What's that supposed to mean? There's no way I'm going to get hurt. You're the one I'm worried about. You went through so much and you won't trust any of us to help."

I shook my head in frustration, he didn't understand. No, he couldn't understand. There was no way for him to understand when I refused to tell him anything... but maybe I could explain what happened in a way that didn't require me to tell him everything.

"Niall?" Liam frowned as he waited for me to respond.

"I... I killed two people, Liam."

~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~

Hello all my lovely readers =)

It's Easter weekend so I hope you're enjoying some family time!

I've made my chapters shorter lately because I don't want to lose quality for quantity (aka length).

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Mine is The Flash and I highly recommend it!!!

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IndieChick95