Stockholm Syndrome

Regret

Louis and I sat in complete silence, something extremely rare, and waited for Max, I assume, to arrive. Who else could it be? I was only allowed to talk to Max and John, and John was in the room with us.

 An odd thought struck me. If Max had ordered me to be locked up, than wasn’t it possible that he had also ordered Lou to be locked up here as well? Was it possible that we’d been in the same house all along, but in separate rooms? It made sense to me. It would be ironic in a way, but it was something I could totally see Max doing. He’d probably get a kick out of it. I wanted to ask Louis but was hesitant. What if John tattled on me to Max again?

I looked at John and back to Louis. Both of them were still silent.

Well, I figured that on one hand it didn’t really matter what I did at this point. At any moment Max would walk through those doors and have Lou dragged back to wherever he was being held. In fact, Max was probably already almost here. I really didn’t have anything to lose by voicing my questions aloud. On the other hand I was scared. I was scared that by doing so I’d somehow get Louis and myself into more trouble.

My curiosity got the better of me, so I asked.

“Hey Lou, where exactly have they had you locked up? It’s here in the house right?”

Louis turned to look at with me, a sympathetic smile on his face. “Is that what Max told you?”

“No,” I shook my head. “I had just assumed…”

Louis chuckled lightly as he patted me on the back. His laugh wasn’t cheery, instead it sounded sad, like it physically pained him to do so. “Oh Ni… you can be so naive at times. I wish that I’d been locked up here. It probably would be much nicer than staying with Tom.”

My eyes widened with surprise as I digested the new information. Louis had been staying with Tom? The person who hated him the most, even more than Max who could barely stand to be in the same room with Lou, and Louis was staying with him? I bit my lip not quite sure if I heard the name right. It had to be a mistake. There was just no way that he’d stay with Tom.

“Tom?” I asked in disbelief.

“Yes, Tom.” Louis sighed as he glared up at the ceiling with dark cloudy eyes. He looked pained, and I wondered what tortures Tom had inflicted upon him.

I didn’t say anything, I just wrapped my arms around Louis and pulled him close to me. It was a way of saying that I was there for him, and that I was willing to listen to whatever he wanted to tell me. I knew from personal experience, my time spent here with Max, that words couldn’t really explain how you felt. It was like feeling every painful emotion at the same time and yet feeling nothing at all.

 I felt Louis’ chest rise and fall as he took several deep breathes. It was so hard to talk about the past however-long-we-had-been-stuck-here. It hurt to even think about those memories. To know that our families and friends were worried sick about us. To know that we were supposed to be touring with our band. It hurt like hell.

“It’s just sad really,” Lou muttered after several minutes. His hands had somehow found themselves ruffling my hair. I take a lot of pride in my hair and I don’t let a lot of people mess with it, but I willing to sacrifice it for Lou’s comfort. I nodded and waited for him to continue.

“It’s sad that they can’t see beyond themselves. It takes two to start a fight you know? I knew we’d never be mates or anything, but I only wanted a bit of fun. That’s all it ever was, those pranks and comments, just a bit fun. It made me laugh when they acted so immature about it. The whole thing really. It was a joke to me. I never knew how seriously they all took it. And to hate our band for being more successful? That’s just ridiculous. To hate someone so much that you have to torture them? It just doesn’t seem real. None of this seems real.”