Danville High

The Worst Night of My Life

I head home with a smile on my face. Papa sees this and smiles as well. "Someone's in a good mood." He says in a singsong voice.

I nod. "Yup! I had a fairly good day at school."

"That's good. So I assume the events of yesterday are behind you?"

"Yup~!"

"Alright sweetie. Well, I'm going out tonight. Love you."

"Love you too."

I go upstairs to my room and unpack some more boxes. I plop on my bed, do my homework, and then log into Skype. I exchanged info with the gang at school, so they're on my contacts list. I scroll through my recent messages. I have messages from everyone except Baljeet and Buford, but one message catches my eye.

It's from... Phineas? It was sent at 11:56 pm last night. There is no preview so I click the contact and read the message.

11:54- Hey Gust. I just wanted to talk to you. I was just thinking about what I did today. I am really sorry. It was entirely impulsive. Please don't hate me. I just wanted to show you my feelings, but I didn't know how to do it the way a normal person it would do. I just wanted to apologize. I couldn't do it in person, because I know you would have ignored me. Please don't be mad. -Phineas

I stare at the screen and come to the realization that I did not check my messages yesterday. I sigh and begin to type a reply.

4:34- hey phineas. sorry i didn t see this last night. i was kinda pissed and didn t check my messages. i suppose it s too late now, but i forgive you.

I send the message and scroll through my others. I check Isabella's conversation.

4:35- Hey Gusto! Just checking on ya!

I smile and type up a snappy reply.

4:36- hey bella. i m doing good. i won t be able to talk tonight, so this is all you ll hear from me. sorry!

I send it and leave Skype up. I go downstairs, where I see that my dad has already left. I set my laptop on the couch and head to the kitchen. After standing in front of the fridge staring at it for 10 minutes, I decide to make some Ramen and popcorn. While they are cooking, I go to the living room and grab my laptop. I set it on the kitchen counter and scroll down my dashboard on Tumblr. I close it and go to Wattpad. I really need to update my fanfics. I plug the headphones that are around my neck into the computer and go to YouTube. I click my Hamilton playlist and bounce to the beat as I cook my food. As I get to 'My Shot', my food is done. I take it to the living room and set the food down on the coffee table. I sit down and begin to type, coming up with a 1,000 word chapter in about 15 minutes.

I publish the chapter and work on another fic. I eat my food as I work, filling my stomach. I finish another chapter in 45 minutes. I stop and groan. This is going swimmingly. I go back to Tumblr and scroll down. I see some posts from Zander, my trans-male friend back in England. He's talking about transgender people and his story about when he realized he was trans. I stop and think. I actually relate to more of these things than I thought I did. Does that mean...? I don't think so, but I continue to think. Maybe...

I search around on the internet for similar things, doing quite a bit of research.

I stop thinking about it and close out of Tumblr and YouTube and open Netflix. I watch The Decoy Bride while mentally screaming. I don't even pay attention to the movie. The whole time, I am thinking about what could possibly be happening to me. Am I dying?? Actually, no. That's a definite no.

The movie finishes and I glance at the clock. 6:45. I absentmindedly move the move around. I have nothing else I want to do. Might as well go to sleep.