UPSIDE DOWN
- twist V -
“Mr. Lee and I will be going out in a minute. Kindly prepare a light sandwich lunch for one o’clock, and get on with the downstairs cleaning. We’ll talk about dinner later. I might tell you, we were both very impressed by your seared foie gras menu.”...Ericka says.
“Oh… um… good!”
“Now. Come in the drawing room, Divine.”
I follow her into the room and over to the fireplace.
“Before you start dusting in here. I wanted to show you the arrangement of the ornaments.”...she says, gesturing to a row of china figurines on the mantel piece.
“This can be tricky to remember. For some reason, cleaners never get it right. So kindly pay attention!"
Obediently, I turn with her to face the mantel piece.
“It’s very important, Divine, that these china dogs face each other. Do you see? They don’t face out. They face each other!"...she instructs.
“Each other. Yes. I see.”...I echo, nodding.
“And the shepherdesses face very slightly out. You see? They face out.”
She’s speaking slowly and clearly, as though I have the IQ of a rather thick three year-old.
“Out.”...I repeat dutifully.
“Now, have you got that? Let’s see. Which way do the china dogs go?”...she says, lifting an arm to block my view of the mantel piece.
I don’t believe it. She’s testing me.
“The china dogs. Which way?”...she prompts.
Oh, God, I cannot resist teasing her.
“Er…They face… out?”
“Each other! They face each other!”...Ericka cries in exasperation.
“Oh, right. Yes. Sorry. I’ve got that now.”
I resisted the urge to giggle. Ericka has closed her eyes and is holding two fingers to her forehead as though the stress of stupid help is too much to bear.
