UPSIDE DOWN
- final twist -
The news makes the front page of the Daily Mail. I am a genuine celebrity. DIVINE CHOOSES LAW OVER LOOS. As I come into the kitchen the next morning, Ericka is poring over it, with Tol reading another copy.
"Divine, are you all right? You look absolutely washed out."
"I didn't sleep that well."...I admit, and flip on the kettle.
I spent the night at Slater's flat. We cooked mushroom omelets together and watched the end of an old war movie and had slow, tender sex. We didn't talk any more about my going. But at three o'clock, when I looked over at him, he was awake too, staring up at the ceiling.
"You need energy! It's your big day! You need to look your best!"
"I will."
"So. All packed up?"
"Pretty much. And Mrs. Lee... here."
I hand Ericka the blue uniform, which I've been carrying, folded, under my arm.
"It's clean and pressed. Ready for your next housekeeper."
"Of course. Thank you, Divine."
She clasps a napkin to her eyes.
"There, there."...says Tol, patting her on the back.
He looks rather moist around the eyes himself. Oh, God, now I feel like crying myself.
"I'm really grateful for everything. And I'm sorry for leaving you in the lurch."
"We know you've made the right decision. It's not that."
"We're very proud of you."...chips in Tol gruffly as the doorbell rings.
I head into the hall, and open the door. The entire PR team from the corporation is standing on the doorstep, all in identical trouser suits. By twelve o'clock I'm wearing a black suit, black tights, black high heels, and the crispest white shirt I've ever seen. I've been professionally made up and my hair has been scraped back into a bun. Now we're in the
drawing room while she preps me on what to say to the press. For the thousand millionth time.
"What's the most important thing to remember? Above anything?"...the Head of PR asked.
"Not to mention loos. I promise, I won't."
