Broken: A Maksyl fanfiction

Chapter 13

MAKS' P.O.V.

The next morning I wake up with an aching feeling in my chest. Thoughts of Meryl and that baby with the big blue eyes haunt my brain and I start to wonder if I had just imagined last night. I sit up in my bed and rub my eyes. I discover I have a headache, so I get up and take a few aspirins that I wash down with water. I then start to brush my teeth and do my usual morning routine. But I can't focus. When I close my eyes all I see is Meryl and I take a deep breath because I know I still love her. It's so pathetic. She's probably in Michigan right now being happy with her baby and the stupid father of the baby. I can't help but wish it was me, but I know I shouldn't. She cut me deep but I've always been tough so I try to shake the thoughts from my head.
Suddenly, a feeling creeps into my gut and I find myself grabbing my coat and car keys and rushing out the door.
I jump in my black Range Rover and begin driving. It's a cloudy, dark day and strong winds willow through the air, making palm trees bend over.

As I approach the exit I take a deep breath. I reevaluate if this is what I really want. I think it is.
I hold my breath and, without looking back, I take the exit into the Los Angelos International Airport. I shake my head to myself as I really think about what I'm doing.... I must be crazy.

-

MERYL'S P.O.V.

I am suddenly awoken to the sound of a babies cry piercing the air. It's 4 in the morning. I reluctantly get out of bed and hurry to Violet's room next to mine. I moved out of my moms house and am currently renting an apartment as a place to stay for now.
As I enter the small room I walk to where the crib stands in the right corner. Each wall of the room I am going to paint with a different scene of nature. The right wall, where Violet's crib is, I painted light pink with a big cherry blossom tree extending all the way to the ceiling, that looks like it's sheltering the crib. The wall directly across from the doorway is painted in the scene of a beach on a perfect sunny day. A briliant sun shines down on a perfectly blue ocean and on the beach, children play. On the wall that holds the door, I painted the scene of a peaceful, green forest. The left wall is still just the same fading white color that all these walls originally were. I still haven't gotten any inspiration to paint that wall, so it'll remain blank for now.
I lift Violet out on her crib and hold her to my chest. I sit down in the wicker rocking chair that my dad made for me and I try to comfort crying my baby. I rock her slowly back and forth, cradled in my arms until she finally falls asleep again.
I smile to myself as I look down at my perfect creation. She has dark hair like mine that coincides nicely with the light purple long sleeved onesie she's wearing now. Her little lips are perfectly shaped and pink, and her small nose is her fathers. Her tiny hand lightly holds my pinky finger and I stroke her soft, pudgy cheek. She's so beautiful and I can't help but smile to myself as I gaze down at her with pure love.

Eventually, I very slowly and carefully ease her back into her crib and tiptoe back into my own room. In bed, I think about my child growing up without a father. Violet is so perfect, I want her to give her the best life possible. I'd like to think I'm enough for her and that she would be just fine without a father, but I know realistically, children need fathers. I wonder if I can manage to be her mom as well as her dad, but I somehow doubt that. Getting in touch with her father-Roy Capperman-is out of the question. But he does deserve to know about her.... I try to put myself in his position and imagine what I would feel like if I didn't even know I had a child. I can feel the guilt eating away at my heavy heart like a flesh eating virus. I put my head into my hands and try to wrack my brain for the right thing to do. Suddenly my thoughts drift to Maks, like they do everyday, but I quickly shake the thoughts out of my mind. I can't bring myself to regret having Violet, even if I lost my soulmate in the process.
I sigh and decide it's best just to sleep away all of these thoughts gnawing at my bones. Maybe in the morning I'll magically have all the answers to these impossible questions.