Thought Bubble

Trigger Warning

I sat there. Quietly sobbing into my hands over the, now dark, phone screen. Words ran through my head over and over.
"They're gone"
"I couldve helped"
"I didnt try hard enough"
"It's my fault"
"I did this"
"I caused their depression"
"I caused their problems"
"I was their problem"
All of these things overwhelming me. The darkness closing in on my tiny, frail body. My heart shattered, and my tears on my desk, chair, bed, and the phone screen. Maybe they didn't do it... I scrambled to clean my phone, turn it on, and send a message to them. The top of the phone read "6:09PM" It's been five minutes. This is a cruel joke. Right? RIGHT!?
I looked at the user name. "Tohru Adachi" MY best friend for the past year. It was their newest username. Mine was 'Dead Inside.' I looked at the most recent texts, all were mine. I had shakenly typed quickly the words of 'Please, dont. I care. So many others do too. Please. Damn it. Please don't do this. Get help, I'll always be there. Dont take them, dont drink. I love you.' I lied to them. I dont love them. I was freakin out and all that came to mind were those words. Suddenly their name changed as I read their final text from five minutes ago. ". ." and their picture was blank... That's what happens when an account is deleted... What did they do........

Next day, Court yard of their Highschool.

"We'd like to see you in the office."
"Alright" I agreed politely, following the men to the main office of our highschool.

"You're aware they have been missing correct?"
"Yes..."
"Why?"
"I dont want to talk about it..."
"Why? For all we know this couldve been murd-"
"NO! ITS NOT!" I screamed standing up pounding my fists on the table before me. I slowly sunk down into my chair.
"What is it then?" He asked.
"Suicide." I cried out. I was faint, and quiet.
"You're su-
"Yes. I-I can... Take me to their house. I can show you were they did it." I said wipping away the tears.
"Okay."

It was only 1 o'clock when we arrived at the house. I lead them inside, down the steps, into the small room, and opened the small closet where the body was hanging from the ceiling in a nuse with their wrists cut. I gulped at the sight. Their phone in a puddle of blood on the floor of the closet. Tears streamed down my face as I walked back upstairs to see Mrs Adachi asking if they had found her child. Her face full of fear, yet full of hope. But the sight of my tears drained her of her hope.

(Back at school)
School ends at three, and I was forced to stay for the final hour. I asked the Professor to sit outside in the hall.
"What for?"
"It's a bad day, and Im not emotionally stable to concentrate," I said. There was a sort of 'drag tone' in my voice.
"Come," He said, motioning for me to talk to him. "What has happened?" He asked.
"My friend killed themself last night. Today I was taken to find the body, and we did. Please. Let me sit out," I asked.
"Understood. Take a desk and a textbook, but do nothing. (Cough) lie about it (cough)" he said.
"Thank you Professor" I said.

(Home)
I didnt want to eat. I turned off my phone because of the flooding texts. The questions. The people just ramming themselves into my business. They're gone, and my phone just reminded me about it. I went to bed without eating, or anything for that matter.

I dont remember the next month. At all. I know for sure I didnt go to school for four days, and I was yelled at for it. I became a zombie. I lost 36 pounds from not eating. I weighed 93 pounds, I was 5 foot 4 inches, and I was dying inside. I difnt turn on my phone until recently. The only genders put into this story was a mother and the policemen asking questions of me and my professor. Why no genders? Because this can happen to anyone. If you face depression go to someone. Killing yourself can lead to major depression of others, and others killing themselves. This is a true story, all names were changed. This didn't personally happen to me, but it happened to my best friend.
Depression is a serious topic, hense the name of this chapter. If you, or someone you know, has depression SEEK HELP. They will HELP you GET BETTER. I know from personal experience. Some are trained specifically to help you. PLEASE get help, and dont kill yourself. YOURE AMAZING NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE ELSE SAYS!!!