This book is basically dumb thoughts that run through my head that could be books, but I dont have the motivation to write it. Yeah, and not to mention just things that are on my mind.
Welcome to:
Thought Bubble
I found my state I.D. the other day. I looked at myself, holding the cold plastic within my hand. My long hair. I placed it on my bed next to me. I got up, collapsed by the trashcan ten feet away. I looked into the white bin before closing mt eyes and violently throwing up. Looking at a physical image of who I once was. The person I was not even 10 months ago in January. January 8th is the day I got my I.D. and my ear pierced. I had long hair that went past my shoulder, and blue glasses framed glasses. That date was 1 week past me throwing up from looking at myself with make up on. Looking like a girl. That was the day I began questioning my gender. I wasn't a normal little girl. I never liked dresses or Barbies. I wanted to wear boys clothing, and all of my friends were male. Except me.
Maybe it was just my friends who sculpted me into who I am. Masculine. Dominate.
With looking at that photo of myself, looking feminine. It physically repulsed me.
With my eyes, behold the shame in which I never saw. With my eyes, behold the social outcast The ticking time bomb The smiling thief The girl. My father refuses to call me 'Jess.'
With my ears, behold the whispers. The cold remarks The rejections.
My mother has told me she would be ok with me dating a girl. She would get used to it. My father saud he'd be fine with it as long as I didnt force him to be a homosexual as well.
I am not out of the closet.
With my eyes, behold my relatives turning me away With my ears, hear them disowning me. With my eyes, full of tears, as Im kicked out of my own home. With my hands, behold me gripping my trans boyfriend's hand. With my arms, behold me holding him a little bit closer. With my body, behold me trembling.
I am repulsed by my old self. I am Jess. Named after my great great UNCLE JESS. I am gay. I am attracted to people with the same genitalia(sex) / gender as my own. This is NOT a phase. This is ME. I will NOT "grow out of it" I am not insane. I do not need to seek help. My therapist is about to prescribe me to Transition.
If you do not accept me. Unfollow.
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that was me This is me now
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I hope this is ok with you guys. I hope you enjoyed reading, have a great day!
