Broken Hearted, Broken Dreams [COMPLETED]

Chapter 9: Life Isn't Easy

Chapter 9:
-
Star, Mike, Jake, Logan and I had gotten along well for the rest of the day and we sorted out instruments and parts. Jake was the drummer as he always was, Mike was playing guitar but switched to bass when I came, leaving the guitar to me. Logan took backup vocals and keyboard while Star continued to do lead vocals but said they might end up switching at some point. We were in their tour bus sitting down and talking.
"I think you probably won't be able to perform with us this tour because there aren't many shows left and you don't quite know the music." Jake laughed and I nodded with a huge smile on my face.
"So what are you guys going to do after touring? Do you live together or...?" Star asked and my smile faded a little, I looked over at Logan and see his smile had also faded.
"Um...we don't really know. We both lived with our uh mom who wasn't the best, I'm still in highschool too." I said nervously while biting my lip.
"That's no problem, Jake is too." Mike commented and I nodded. My phone buzzed and I looked down to see a text from Christian, I quickly look at it and reply;

C: Yo dude where are you? We are about to go on and I need to talk to you and Logan.

E: W/ Shattered Bloodline, discussing stuff. What do you need to talk about?

C: Just get here when you can sis.
C: Nevermind, going on stage. I need to see you guys after

E: Okay we'll be there.
I put my phone away and said,
"We've gotta go soon, Christian wants to talk to us."
"Okay, we'll let you go." Star laughed, we walked out of the bus and shook hands. Before we left Star whispered in my ear,
"If you need a place to stay after tour my place is open." I smiled and said my thanks as me and Logan walked back, we find the stage that the Second Hand Warriors were performing on and caught the second half of their show,
after words we walked to the side of the stage and saw the band coming off stage Christian walked away from the others with me and Logan and said in a quiet voice,
"Did you guys agree to taking the offer." We both nodded and he let out a huge breath,
"That's awesome guys. The only thing is that Erin, haven't finished high school."
"I know, I'm not the only one though. I can finish high school online and still have time for the band. And the singer offered for me to stay with her until I could get a job and an apartment."
"Where would Lo stay?" He questions and I have to admit I felt guilty I hadn't thought about that.
"It's fine Christian, I have enough money to rent out a place for a while and I'll get a small side job. You should worry about yourself more than us, we're covered." Logan said as he put an arm around my shoulders and I smiled.
"Alright, I just wanna make sure you guys are all covered and such. I feel like it's my job because mom and dad were never there." We nod sadly and headed back to the group. As I was standing there with all the guys and Crim my eyes wandered around the place and rested on a boy who was staring at me. He looked about my age and was hanging out with a group of guys. He had short brown hair which was a bit curly and beautiful hazel eyes. He was wearing a blue t shirt with a pair of sand colored shorts, he looked a little shorter than me and had an amazing smile. He held my gaze for a moment before looking away, he turned around and I smiled while biting my lip.
"What are you drooling about?" I hear Ash ask and I jerk my head away from the boy and look up to see everyone staring at me.
"Uh...nothing." I say. Wow Erin, that was real smooth girl. Nothing awkward about that at all. I say sarcastically in my head.
"Riiighhhttttt." Axel says while winking at me, I blush because I was obviously embarrassed.
"Oh let's just go already." I snap while I look back over to the boy and see him glance at me and then someone called,
"Jackson! Let's go dude!" He walked away with the rest of his group. I hear all the guys laugh and I roll my eyes and stomp back to the bus.

I headed to my room and opened my guitar case, tears peeking out my eyes as I took out a small leather wrapped package that I hadn't used in a long time. I hesitated a little, I knew I shouldn't do this but all of a sudden everything just pulled on my shoulders and I couldn't take it. I got up and was at the door, about to go to the bathroom when Crim asked from the corner,
"Where are you going?" I looked over and quickly answered so she didn't hear my shaky voice,
"Bathroom." I ran out and locked the door to the small bathroom. I sat down against the wall and unclasped the leather bindings and saw fresh razors, I had packed them just in case. I cried as I took one of them, rolling up the sleeve of my soft long sleeved shirt. I slowly pressed the blade to my skin and dragged it across my wrist. I winced as the blood slowly came, I did 5 more cuts and then put the razor back in the leather binding. I took a wad of toilet paper and soaked up the blood that had run out. I got up and looked in the mirror, I saw a girl who was a mess. I had been clean of cutting for 5 months, now all that was down the drain. I slowly wiped my face with my hands, thankful that I had worn waterproof mascara this morning. I rolled my sleeve down and winced as it came in contact with my now raw skin. I opened the bathroom door to see Ash sitting against the wall opposite it. He had his head in his hands and when he looked up he nodded to me, I bit my lip and nodded as I headed back to my room, I looked back to see Ash getting up and walking into the bathroom. I climbed up to my bed and slowly winced as I touched my arm.

Ash's POV
I heard soft sobs from the bathroom and put my ear next to the door, I heard crying and wondered who it was and why they were crying. I sat down across from the door and a few minutes later I saw Erin come out, she looked at me a little panicky and I nodded to her. She bit her lip and nodded as she was tugging at her sleeve, she winced slightly as she walked away. I got up and walked into the bathroom curiously. Before I even got to the threshold I realized what she had been doing. My eyes widened as I saw a leather pouch left on the floor, I picked it up and saw 6 razors, one of them covered in blood. My eyes widened further as I realized my fear had become true. I quickly headed to Crim and Erin's room, I burst in and Crim looked up from reading her book.
"What's wrong Ash?" She says cautiously.
"Can I talk to Erin, alone?" Crim nodded slowly and got up, leaving the room and shutting the door behind her. I looked up at Erin's bunk bed and saw her eyes were closed I sighed,
"Erin I know your not asleep." She slowly opened her eyes and sat up miserably.
"What do you want Ash?" She asked. I tried to control my anger as I said,
"Can I see your arms?"
"What? N-no!" She said as she climbed down and walked over to the door, I rushed quickly over and blocked her escape.
"Erin Jace Evans show me your arms!" I shouted, she backed up as I walked forward,
"No! I'm not a cutter Ash, I've been clean!" She yelled back, I chased her around the room a few time before I finally tackled her and she struggled as I pined her to the floor and rolled up her sleeve. I saw 6 fresh marks of red on her skin, I dropped her arm and rolled off her. I sat against the wall and she slowly sat up.
"YOU TOLD ME YOU STOPPED!" I yelled as tears streamed down my face as well as hers.
"I HAD F*CKING STOPPED! I CANT TAKE THINGS ANYMORE ASH! HOW DID YOU KNOW?" She shouted,
"I FOUND YOUR EFFING BAG OF RAZORS IN THE BATHROOM ERIN! YOU PROMISED ME THE LAST TIME YOU HAD CUT WAS 5 MONTHS AGO!" she let out chocked sobs and I scooted over to her, placing my arms around her in a hug.
"It's ok." I whispered, she pushed away,
"LEAVE ME ALONE ASHER! I DON'T NEED TO BE F*CKING BABIED, IM AN INDEPENDENT PERSON NOW AND IM NOT JUST A PIECE OF SH*T YOU CAN PLAY WITH!" I squeezed my eyes shut as she yelled, I continued to hug her as we both sobbed together.
"Erin people care about you, I do and you know your brothers love you."
"No they don't. I'm going to kill myself." She said as she tugged herself away from my protective arms. I made a grab for her but she ran through the door and into the bathroom, she slammed it and locked it. I banged against it,
"ERIN STOP PLEASE!" I pleaded, "CHRISTIAN! CRIM! ANYONE!" I shouted as Logan came running from his room, he helped me knock down the bathroom door and I saw that Erin had picked up the razors and had made maybe 10 or 15 more cuts on her arms, she was about to make one more and I realized it would be on her vein and that it would kill her. I dove and knocked the blade from her hand, she screamed and hit me, struggling to get another one. I held tight to her and tried to get her to calm down I looked to the doorway as tears rolled off my pale cheeks, I saw everyone there, Crim, Axel, Cash, Logan, and oh god, Christian. He had the saddest look on his face of any of them. He walked in and collapsed next to me, holding onto Erin as well as she slowly stopped trying to struggle for a blade. She screamed until I could hear her voice going hoarse, then she cried and cried until she couldn't breath.