Jar of Hearts [On Hold]

Chapter 1 - And the Emotions Come Back

Colbie

The alarm sounded throughout the small bedroom. Colbie groaned and hit the button to turn off the wretched thing. She rubbed her eyes and sighed as she pushed the covers back; the cold air from outside the blankets caused her skin to pucker into goose bumps. She stumbled across her room and flicked on the lights, blinking hard against the sudden burning in her eyes.

When the burning subsided she gathered her things and headed into the bathroom. Her reflection in the mirror made her jump, as it did every morning. Her dark brown hair was wildly disarrayed into clumps of tangles resembling tumble weeds. The makeup she had neglected to take off the night before form raccoon like black circles around her eyes. It wasn't that she felt much about it, but allowing herself to jump like she was startled by it was like a habit, something she had done when she could still feel something over it.

She sighed as she quickly undressed and stepped into the hot water. The hot stream felt good on her face, a small spark of content happiness danced through her chest, almost like the fleeting light of a shooting star. And Colbie knew that was a good thing. Stuff like that had been starting to come back, small flecks of feeling, here and there, slowly but steadily becoming more defined and lasting longer. It began a month or so after she had woken up in her yard, the morning after Casey had kissed her.

First it was only in her dreams, not real emotion, just the memory of it. Certain things almost made her experience the memory of being happy, or sad, or angry. She could remember what different emotions looked like, how to act like she felt them. She had been pretending for her family ever since that night. She wasn't sure why she did it, it just seemed right. There were moments when she knew she was supposed to be happy, so she smiled and laughed and sometimes danced, or did other happy things. But she had never felt anything on the inside. Until recently.

Only a few weeks ago she had begun to feel sparks of something she knew to be emotions. At first it was only over big things. Her father coming home after being gone for weeks with work brought a forgotten spark of happiness. Her grandmother passing away caused a dull ache of sadness. The emotions coming back even caused flecks of shock and happiness in themselves.

Now they came easier than before, little things caused little emotions to rise for a few minutes before fading away. With bigger things sometimes the emotion could last for almost an hour! And it was continuing to improve. She could feel the emotions becoming more defined and detailed, like her Heart was struggling to come back. Sometimes she thought about it, and it was usually accompanied by small reoccurrences of confusion. Why did she feel the need to protect her family from what had happened when she felt nothing for them? Did she feel something for them that she couldn't feel? That question in itself was just confusing all around. Why were her feelings coming back? That wasn't supposed to happen, was it? Grandpa had never said anything about it in his stories. In fact he had said they never got them back.

Grandpa. The last time she had seen him was at the grandma's funeral, just two weeks past. He had looked at her with sad, dark almond eyes, and said-with his voice rough from the tears he had shed for her grandma, or with the thing he seemed to see in her, she wasn't sure-"I warned you to stay away from them, my girl, I warned you. But you're strong. You'll make it." Colbie thought he had sounded almost like he was trying to convince himself. She hadn't known what to say, but soon realized she didn't have to say anything. He just kissed her forehead and drifted away in the crowd of people dressed in black.

The memory brought a moment of sadness.

She sighed as she turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. The tile floor was cool on her bare feet as she dried off and slipped into her clothes. She bounced down the stairs and wasn't surprised to find that everyone else was already gone. Her dad left for work early and her mom was probably taking her little brother, Reece, to school.