I'M ONLY MYSELF WHEN I'M WITH YOU

Chapter 5

CELESTE'S POV

**Monday Morning**

As I woke up I remembered, I'm not a cheerleader. I grabbed my bow and threw it in the garbage can sitting by my desk. I kept my hair down and flowing in my face, I also wore a black and grey shirt with my black high waisted jean shorts and my black vans. My make up was not light, it had a lot of black and it was thick especially the eyeliner. I was going to try and keep a low profile today, but I don't want to look scared. It doesn't matter if I'm a cheerleader or not!

**At the school**

I was actually early today, so I got a good parking spot and looked around for Carson. When I finally found him I walked over.

"Hey Carson..."

"Hey Cutie"

Cutie!!! Why would he call me that. His friends looked at me with a surprised expression.

"Hey guys."

" Oh ya, this is Celeste,and this is Jack and Robby."

I stood there awkwardly and we all said hi. Then Carson grabbed my hand and walked me into the school. He then pushed me up against the lockers and we started making out.

**Laughing in the background**

"Oh wow Celeste, you got yourself a keeper there!" some girl from the cheer team said.

I felt my face getting red when I finally figured out she was talking about me. I stood there and watched her laugh at me, so I ran into the bathroom. I looked into the mirror and started crying. I wasn't sure but I think it just hit me, I wasn't on the cheer team, I didn't have any friends, but I did know I have Carson. This makeup was a bad idea, because its running down my face now.

"You are strong, you don't need the cheer team to be someone." I said to myself.

I then thought about, what if me and Carson only lasted for a month or two. Then what would I do? The only thing I needed in my head was, you will be fine... However the horrible thought kept making its way into my head, beg for your spot on the cheer team back. Just beg and beg. 

I then splashed water into my face to clear my head and then walked out of the bathroom to find Carson waiting for me. 

"You know we are definitely going to last more then two months." he said

"Wait what!?" I said in confusion, then relizing I was saying that all out loud and he could hear me talk threw the door. 

As we walked to first period, I could feel people staring at me, and I looked completely ridiculous with this black makeup all over my face. I felt as if I had a big blow up guy waving his arms to look at me coming out of my head. 

"Celeste, you'll be okay, just think about school and don't worry what people say about you." Carson said trying to get me out of the daze I was in. 

"Im scared" I blurted out without expression. 

"We can talk after class okay... remember, you'll be okay!!" he said with a smile on his face

As I walked into class I sat in the back by Robby, Carson's friend. I usually sat in the front so the teacher would see me and call on me the most. She then started taking count. 

"Celeste Simi" called the teacher, but i couldnt respond.

"Celeste!" she called again...

"Um, yah she's right here." said robby

I then looked at him with a smile, to I guess thank him. 

I met up with Carson after class, which I did after every class for, I guess you could call it support. 

**LUNCH**

As I walked into the lunch room I looked for Carson's table. When I spotted it I went to get my food and then meet him there after. As I got my food I turned around and was looking straight into the chest of someones chest I knew very well, Luke. 

"Celeste, is that you under all that black, whatever it is??"

"Oh, yah it is.." I said with a surprised face, why was he talking to me?

"Luke!!! Don't talk to her!!" called one of the cheerleaders. 

When I walked threw the lunch room, I was alone I mean all by myself, not with Carson, not with Robby, not with my old friends.. I was actually alone with everyones eyes on me..

I went to Carson's table and they weren't talking about the cutes football player or how to do makeup or which girl can make the best bow. They talked about skateboards and ramps and Black Veil Brides. I basically just sat there in silence when I relised almost everyone at this table is wearing black eyeshadow and eyeliner, even the boys. All except one person, Carson. 

"Why don't you wear makeup?" I said interrupting the whole group

"Um, idk just haven't been feeling like putting any on."

"Thats not the truth!!" some girl yelled "Carson doesn't wear makeup, because he was scared you would thing he was gay.." then everyone started laughing except Carson with an embarrassed look on his face. 

**MATH**

As me and Carson walked into math, everyone stared at us, as if we were a rare diamond or something. We then broke off into groups for the project, so finally it was just me and Carson. We finished the project today and then just talked about what we will do this weekend. 

**END OF SCHOOL**

As the last bell just rang, Carson and his friends came around the corner and walked me to my car. 

"Bye babe" he said with a smile. 

He never called me babe!!!OMG!!!

"Bye" I said with my face blushing. 

As I got home, I got a snack and did my homework, then I listened to three hours on Panic at the Disco and Black Veil Brides so I could talk at lunch tomorrow. I just need to say, Andy Biersack is my one and only love! Maybe I will say I can just feel the electric of Christian's drums. After a while I figured out I just wouldn't talk at lunch. Before I knew it I was fast asleep with the lovely voice of Andy in my ears.