Grimm meets Boys

Chapter Seven

The minutes go by slowly. Driving home feels lonely. The car is cold and empty. All I feel is numbness in my body. All I hear is the silent ringing of my imagination. I don't want to think of him, so I don't. I don't want to see his face, so I keep my eyes open. I don't want to feel the ghost of his touch on my skin, so I stare straight forward and shiver. I try to do all these things, yet my mind wanders. Having a wandering mind means having a wavering car. Having a wavering car means chances of seeing him again get slimmer.

Think about him, a voice in my head keeps whispering to me. I can't fight it, yet I can't let it win. It's a draw.

I let my mind think of him, if only for a second. I let my eyes slide over to the seat next to me and imagine his blond hair on his tall, muscular figure. I let my skin feel his touch. This isn't reality though. Reality is not that he's here; the reality is that he's not.

The car backs slowly into the driveway of a now half empty home. All I have is animals to keep me company. His tarantula; I hate his tarantula. Spiders freak me out. Our cat. Our dog. Our, our, our. 

This isn't my house. My house doesn't have cold wood floors. My house doesn't have white walls. My house isn't here.

This is my house though, the house where Nathan and I kiss. Where Nathan and I eat. Where Nathan and I dream. This is the house where everything has happened. But now, this house is split in half.

Two hours have passed. Two hours since he's been gone. I'll just think of it like he's at his sister's house. He's just staying at Lexi's for a while. I mean, she did just get married. She has two kids. Nathan is watching over the kids while she's on her honeymoon. Yes, that's what happened. I was just imagining him going off to war. Silly me.

After a few months thinking that he's at Lexi's, I just can't pretend any longer.

He's at war.

He's risking his life to save me and so many others. I'm proud of him. I'm mad at him. He left me.

But, he didn't leave me. 'Think of me and I'll be there.' I'm thinking. He's not here.

I need to grow up. I can't pity myself. I can't pretend like this was easy for him. I know it must be awful. It's terrible for me. It's worse for him.

He'll come back. I know he will. He loves me. I love him. War is just an event in time that will soon be over. War is just something keeping us apart.

I walk out to check the mail box, expecting to see piles of bills. There is only one letter. I don't know who it's from. It's not marked. I sit down on the grass under a big oak tree in our yard. I slide my finger under and pull it open.

Dear Miss Grimm:

This letter is to inform you that your boyfriend, Nathan Greene, has been reported missing in action while in war since May 18.

I know that added distress is caused by failure to recieve more information or details. Therefore, I wish to assure you that at any time additional information is recieved it will be transmitted to you without delay, and, if in the meantime no additional information is recieved, I will again communicate with you at the expiration of three months. Also, it is the policy of the Commanding General of the Army upon receipt of the "Missing Soldier" to convey to you any details that might be contained in the report.

The term "missing in action" is used only to indicate that the whereabouts or status of an individual is not immediately known. It is not intended to convey the impression that the case is closed. I wish to emphasis that every effort is exerted continuously to clear up the status of our personnel. Under war conditions this is a difficult task as you must readily realise. Experience has shown that many persons reported missing in action are subsequently prisoners of war, but as this information is furnished by countries with which we are at war, the War Department is helpless to expidite such reports. However, in order to relieve financial worry, Congress has enacted legislation which continues in force the pay, allowances and allotments to dependents of personnel being carried in a missing status.

Permit me to extend my heartfelt sympathy during this peiod of uncertainty.

Sincerely yours, 

General F. B. Smith

My mind doesn't register what the letter says the first time I read it. I read it a second time. I know what it says, but I read it a third time just to be sure. I'm glad that I'm sitting because I'm shocked. My love is missing. No. I must have read it wrong!

I didn't read it wrong.

Nathan is missing. He has been missing for nearly four months. Why did I get the letter just now? Anger and sadness flare up inside of me.

I see a face that I haven't seen in a while walking down the street. It's Nico. My friend. I watch him and he turns to face me. He sees my face and must know somethings wrong. "What's wrong?" Nico asks as he walks toward me. How does he know something's wrong? Then I realize that I have hot tears rolling down my cheeks.

He sits down beside me and I hand him the letter. He reads it and hugs me.

I need his comfort. I hug him back and let my tears pour out.

I'm being weak. Crying is for people who can't let out their emotions. But, I am weak.

"Nico," I rasp out with my voice gasping between sobs, "I'm sad." I know that it was painfully obvious how sad I am because my eyes are crying a river, but I needed to say it. He looks at me. He probably thinks I'm weird for crying over Nathan. I didn't cry over him. He responds in a simple, yet reassuring way, "I know."

I need to hear those words. At those two syllables my mind went into desperation mode. I need to see Nathan. I need Nico's comfort while Nathan's gone. "Nico?" my voice asks hollowly.

"Yes, Grimm?" he replies. I don't even know what is coming out of my mouth until I say it. "Will you stay here tonight? I don't want to be alone," I say without controlling my own voice. Why did I ask that? Because I need someone to not talk to. I need someone to bring a fraction of Nathan's warmth back into the cold house.

Who better than my best friend? Who better than a wolf? Dogs may be a man's best friend; but a wolf is a girl's best friend. Literally.

The tears are drying on my face as my thoughts roam. I let them go anywhere except the front of my mind. I know it's weird, but I visualize that as where my brain keeps all of the documents about Nathan.

Crying will do no good.

Nico stands up. He'll stay. I only need company one night. One night out of all the nights.

One day out of all the days.

I guess that Lexi could have come over, but she looks too much like Nathan. Nico doesn't look like him though. I can deal with seeing Nico.

The strange part about today is that no bills came. Why?

It's a three letter word. W-H-Y? One syllable. Why? What's happening?

I stand up and dust off my backside before walking slowly in. Dark is nearing. I order pizza. I haven't eaten in 2 days. I'm starving.

The pizza is finally here. I get up and pay for it.

Nico takes the pizza into the kitchen and we feast.

I'm exhausted. I need to sleep. Nico makes himself at home on the couch. I walk into my bedroom and lay on Nathan and mine's bed. I keep one of his shirts on the bed for comfort. My hands pull the shirt over to me where I curl up, clutching the shirt tight.

My eyes close and I'm out cold.