FADING AWAY || A Michael Clifford Fanfiction

Chapter 19

{Rowen's POV}

I'm used to getting hate because there's always going to be hate on youtube but I've been getting way more hate ever since I started dating Michael, from his fans and also some from my own fans  (like what the fuck I thought you liked me) well I guess that they think I'm only dating him for fame, attention and money which is NOT true, I really truly love him. This has come to the point that I have gotten back to my old habit, ok so I'm not saying it's a healthy or 'good' one but it happened again. In other words I started cutting once more; now I have been cutting since I was in the six grade for many reasons. Now I'm not talking about cutting my arm or wrist like most like most people that cut, oh noooo, I chose to cut my upper thigh just in case I have to wear a dress or shorts plus I know that I can't wear sweaters, hoodies, long sleeves and jeans forever, also it's less noticeable because I'm the only one that sees my naked legs (all the way) not even Caro knows about this and she's been my friend ever since I was in third grade back in Australia. The hate has gotten so bad that I run out of 'space' in my tights so I started to do my arm. I avoid doing my arm and stomach as much as possible and some times I even forget about the ones in my arms because I don't do them as often as my tights.

"Rowen come on we are gonna be late!!!!" Michael said.

"Coming, I just have to fix my hair real quick."

"Ok, but hurry up and don't forget that you have to wear a dress and NOT jeans!!!!"

"I know, I know...hey..how do I look?" I said as I got out of the bathroom.

"You look perfe-" he started "hey what's that?...on your arm?"

"where?" 

"ON YOUR FUCKING ARM!!!! ROWEN WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!!!! TELL ME!!!!" he screamed at me with fear taking over his eyes and pointing at my arm.

"I...I can't..." I said as I runed towards the bathroom then locking the door behind me and sitting on the floor behind the door.

"Rowen...come out I want to help you...please" he said though the door in a sweet voice "what I meant to say is that you should put a little more makeup in your arm."

I opened the door about three or four minutes later and saw him siting on the floor next to the bathroom door tiring up about to cry and then I said "Michael please don't leave me because of this...please...stay with me."

"I would never leave you...I get it, ok...I know how it is...I know how it feels" he said making me confused on what he was talking about, but I didn't had a chance to ask because he immediately said "is the hate isn't it? don't worry I'm here for you...I'll always be here" as soon as he finished saying that I just sat on the floor next to him and hugged him as hard as I could.

"Wait but Michael how do you know how it feels? don't tell me that you..." I said as I lifted his left sleeve then I looked at his disappointed face "Mickey..." I said again as I hugged him even harder than before. 

"Rowen your crushing me" he said and all of a sudden it became a game of hugs and tickles that either of us couldn't escape out off; until I saw that his phone had fallen out of his pocket and saw the time and then remembered that we had a reservation for seven thrifty.

"We need to go it's seven fifteen." 

"Put some makeup on those scars and lest go" he told me as I got my makeup from by suitcase. three minutes later we where ready to go. "oh and lest not forget our room key and our phones because if we do, both of us would be in trouble."

When we got to the restaurant, the lady that was at the front asked us for the name that we used to make the reservation and I told her "Madison" and a minute or so she gave us our table, which was actually a small booth next to a window.

"So are you going to answer the questions I asked you yesterday?" I asked him after we ordered our food. I ordered a well done stake and he wanted a large shrimp soup along with some beers since we are both over 18 (I'm 19 he's 20 and we are in Italy.)

"Can you just ask me once more please."

"How did you find me? what did you went thought to get to know me? why did you do it?"

"Ok so...I was going thought my Instagram followers and saw your account with had a beautiful girl as a profile picture on which I was debating on weather or not to follow you because it might be too obvious, so I talked to Ashton what to do and he got the great idea which was for me to create a fake fan account  without anyone but me and him knowing that it was actually me and well you know the rest of the story."

"Thank you" we both said at the same time to the waiter who had brought our food.

"So let me get this straight" I started "you went thought all the trouble of lying to the Calum, Luke and the whole fandom also creating a fake fan account that was actually a risky move, because I might not had followed back just so you could get to know me; just because you thought I was cute on one picture you found of me on my account when you where stalking your followers on Instagram."

"Yeah, pretty much that's how it went."

"This is why I have trust issues."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he told me.

 "Well because you never know how the fuck follows you or you follow online."

"Anyway I'm glad I followed you back at the end everything turned out to go well to both of us. On a whole different topic what do you think about this window?"I said.

We where siting next to a beautiful stained glass window that made a shape that looked like a sunset on some mountains somewhere in South America just don't ask me how I know how that looks because I don't know how to answer that question.

"It's a serious piece of art, love the selection of colors if I say so my self. I mean if you know how to manipulate glass like that you must be doing something right, what do you think?"

"You read my mind, how did you do that?" I said as a joke.

"I guess that I have magical powers that can read minds."

"I guess you do" I said while giving a giggle.

"Can you promise me something? that you are going to tell me when and some of the reasons of why you cut ok? I'm not saying that it has to be today or tomorrow just that one day you will tell me on your own...promise?"

"Promise" I told him.

We talked about some other things, paid and then went back to the hotel to find...

{[(I'm pretty sure nobody is going to read this but if you are thank you and don't forget to comment and rate...also sorry this chapter is too long and sad...ok...bye)]}