She Doesn't Care

Chapter 7: Alone

I was more than confused, I realised I was frustrated at both myself and him. He was right, I should have accepted the rejection when he first rejected me. There were countless opportunities. He was determined to make it work now and that scared me.

"Are you okay? " I heard a soft voice question, I glanced up to see Caleb looking at me.

"I-I'm," I cleared my throat, "I'm fine." I reassured giving him a small smile.

"Oh, shit." He cursed, making me look at him questioningly.

"It's girl 101 that when a she says 'I'm fine'," He mimicked the voice of a girl. "She is so not fine." He said in a voice of a student reporting to a teacher making me smile involuntarily.

"No, I actually mean it. I'm alright." Lie. I was definitely anything but alright. What he said made me feel hopeful. I hated it. Every bit of it. Why was it that under all this nonchalant behaviour I still cared for him?

"I'm going to bunk rest of the day. I'll see you tomorrow." I said walking away from the spot I had stood frozen in a couple of minutes ago.

"Hey, I'll come with you." He offered politely, following me.

"No, no, there is no need for that. I'll take this one on my own, don't worry. " I felt bad turning him down, he was after all just trying to make me feel better. But I knew I had to figure this out alone or with his help, I can't pull Caleb into my stupid mess.

I saw Caleb nod in agreement and side hug me.

"I'm here if you need me." He said smiling warmly.

"Thank you." I whispered to the boy who had come to care for me in a short span of a few days.

On the way to my car I thought of the places I wanted to go.

Making up my mind I sat in the car and started the engine.

"Come on, Delphi. You aren't weak." I muttered to myself, encouraging myself to make my way to the destination.

After two hours of driving I reached a forest in the dense side of the woods. I parked my car at the corner of the road.

A few metres of walking I found myself on a cliff. I swung my legs over the edge and sat on our spot.

"Why did you leave me alone in this cruel world, Ethan? You knew I needed you, but you still refused to stay by my side." I looked up at the cloudy sky and accused unwillingly. I hadn't visited this place in a very long time it didn't feel the same without him.

"Maybe it's my fate, I saw you leave and now him. You left me, my mate i-is, I don't know. Confused? Confusing?" I continued my talk to the sky, hoping he could hear me, help me. I knew it was too far fetched an idea but my heart got me to try anyway.

"I just don't know what to do anymore, Ethan. I've tried again and again to find myself after you left but every time I'm even a little bit close, someone or something pulls me away. Dad and mom are worried about me, Ethan. Maybe I need to go back to therapy." I sighed a sudden saltiness in my mouth.

Various reasons of my life taking a nose dive into hell came into my mind in a frightening slide show of events.

I placed my hand on my cheek feeling tears streaming down my face.

"Look, this isn't me. I'm losing myself again, Ethan and it hasn't even began. He's playing me. I don't want to be his toy or anyone else's." I knew my monologue was going nowhere so I stared ahead at the horizon.

I started swinging my leg, enjoying how free they felt. Loving the way they didn't care at all about how they are suspended in air. I could be like that, I wanted to be like that.