This doesnt really have a title, just like me in a way.
Too much stress at this age can lead my life into an uhealthy life style- Oh wait it already is. ha-ha-ha.
I don't really like getting my hopes up any more
and I don't really have the courage to actually audition for something I feel like I would belong.
Maybe it's my depression , maybe it's my anxiety or maybe its just plain old me.
So there's this thing that's happening- well BigHit ,a company in korean that specializies in music and other things I belive, is having auditions for forgien talent.
I have no talent whats so ever, but my mother and friends tell me I can sing, which I know for a fact I can't. That's why I stopped creating singing YouTube videos, but for some reason I have this feeling that I should audition.
Really it is simple to audition, all you have to do is send a video of you singing/dancing or modeling. I can't dance and I am not pretty enough to be a model, so why not try out singing since everyone thinks I can sing.
I just have so many doubts, What if they are looking for someone who can speak korean? I can't speak Korean yet. What if they won't accept me because I am too fat? Maybe I get in and I have to audition in front of everyone? How would I get over my anxiety and how would I even get to Korea? It's not like I am rich.
And than after you make the video you send it through via email or mail it on a CD or flash drive to the address that is on the site.
Another thing thats coming up is June 8..
June 8th is got7's FIRST U.S concert and they will be in Atlanta.
My mom is looking into the tickets and has everything planed out- It would be my 15th birthday present since august 29th is a month away from June 8th. Knowing my luck, she wont get the tickets and i'll be stuck alone like always. I just want that one night for me, for me to see them and hear their voices.For me to witness my first concert.
Recently I have been having urges to self harm again but I guess I am fighting it?
It's not like anyone cares about any of the stuff in this chapter or page entry or what ever you want to call this. I just can't talk to anyone about any of this stuff, not even my friends because they always think that i'm overreacting and I am always annoying to them. I'm just a big fat problem to everyone and I am trying to change that.
This might be my last update for a while... I don't really know.
