Leaning onto Malia's shoulder I tried to focus on the movie before me. But my entire mind was spinning and the movie wasn't all that interesting. Sighing I sit up, leaving my girlfriends warmth.
"You okay?" I hear Malia's all too concerned voice from beside me and I can't bring myself
to look at her. My shoulders slump as I groaned.
"There's just so much on my mind, you know?" My voice is weak but I feel gentle hands start rubbing my back.
Malia's voice was close to my ear, "Like what?" She hummed and shivers danced down my spine.
Turning I felt a grin pull at my lips as I stare into the brown eyes of the girl sitting behind me. A spark of mischief danced in them as I placed a firm kiss to her lips. Shifting Malia pulled me into her lap so I was straddling her, the warmth of her infolded me; and all the stress I was feeling seemed to melt away.
I felt her hands start tugging at the bottom of my shirt and I placed my hand on her chest to push her back slightly, "my mom." I whispered a gentle warning as I hear Malia sigh.
Pulling her lips away from mine she gives me her puppy dog look, "Your mom always tells me about times she's walked on you making out with guys, why is this any different?" She starts but I can tell she already knew the answer.
"Malia, baby. I'm sorry but-"
"Yeah, yeah I get it Lyds, Sorry I should've thought about that." Her voice is laced with hurt when she stands. She grabs her backpack and swings it over her shoulder, and places a soft kiss on my cheek. "I should get going now, I'll text you."
I nod my head and jump to my feet to walk her out, my mom is sitting on the couch in the living room. Glancing over her shoulder she watches us exit my room. A grin grows across her face and she waves goodbye to Malia.
"Hope to see you tomorrow Malia!" She cheers and the brunette looks up surprised.
"You too Ms. Martin." Her voice is almost hesitant and I squeeze her shoulder.
Soon we reach the door and I swing it open, grinning at her I stand on my tiptoes and place a firm kiss on her lips. "Bye babe." I whisper so my mom can't hear us.
"Bye, see you tomorrow." And with that she leaves; jumping into her car and driving off.
I watch her go and I feel the guilt coming dwindling in. I felt bad, I knew she felt like I was hiding her and maybe I was. But not in a harsh way.
I just wasn't ready.
Staring up the stairs I knew my mom would be sitting there. Suddenly my legs feel weak a sick feeling spreads into my stomach.
I could always just... tell her.
It would be a start, and she was my mother, she loved me no matter what. I could maybe explain to her and I wouldn't have to hide Malia from my mother at least. We could cuddle together without the fear of my mom walking in.
It would make things easier;
Swallowing hard I started walking up the stairs ever so slowly, my legs were jello and my heart was pounding so hard I thought it might burst from my chest.
"Mom?" My voice was hesitant and I cringed on how bad is shook.
"Yes sweetie?"
Walking over I sat down on the couch and faced her, my stomach was flipping and I couldn't even open my mouth to talk.
Finally I managed, "I need to tell you something."
My mom blinked, "Something bad?" She asked and I shook my head.
"Not if you take it good."
She shoots me a confused look and I bit my lip. Suddenly I felt like my mouth was wired shut, I didn't even know how to put the words into a sentence. My heart pounded and I instantly regretted my idea.
"I'm bisexual." The words finally tumble out of my mouth like vomit, I wince at how harsh it sounded and my mother didn't say a single word.
"No your not Lydia."
Now there were many things I excepted her to say, but that was not one of them.
"Mom, yes I am. I know who I am." I argue and she shakes her head.
"No, no. I get you have a rough time with boys but I've watched you grow, you've loved boys ever since you were a little girl." Her voice suddenly turned angry. "Do you really just want attention? Bisexuality doesn't exist. You're either straight or gay."
My mouth goes dry, tears start flowing from my eyes and I stand. "I know who I am!" I yell and my mom shakes her head.
"Stop doing this shit for attention! Think about me for a second! Maybe I want to see you in. pretty wedding dress one day and have grandkids of your own one day!" My mom snaps and I have no idea why, my heart crumbles and the entire living room spins.
"I'm not saying I'm completely gay! I'm just not straight! I'm bisexual mom, listen to me." I sob and she shakes her head.
"Being gay is cool for this generation, you saw it on the Internet and you decided you wanted to be like them too. You need to be different! And I know you're straight Lydia."
"Than tell me why I'm in love with Malia? Can you explain that?" I cry and my mom's eyes widened.
"Her?" She snarls and I feel sick. "You will not date ever again, you hear me? Not until you are living out of my house!"
The tears are flowing free by this point, I grasp for my phone but I don't know what to do, "Why are you so evil?" I choke out before stumbling out of the room. The sobs rack my body as I hear my moms angry cry.
Slamming the door close I fell to the ground and let my heart fall and smash into tiny pieces.
Author Note - This chapter was hard to write.
I decided to use my own experience of coming out, which as you can see, didn't go so well xD
But;
I just want people to know if they ever try to come out and it goes sour you can always PM if you need someone to talk too. I'm always here for anyone who needs it :)
Please vote if you enjoyed and comment your thoughts.
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Moon Dust (Malydia AU)
Fanfiction"and I'll bury my love, in the moondust." ~ Lydia Martin was the top girl in school. Perfect grades, impossible looks and a charming boyfriend; she was the talk of the town. Malia Tate was the rebel girl of the school. Skateboard, and bennies...
