Stuck In Endora

Chapter Eight

I stare at him for a minute. "I... love you too." And I do. I mean it. I love Gilbert Grape. This is what it feels like, I guess. There's this weird fluttery butterfly type thing going on in my stomach and my heart is beating really fast and all that stupid stuff you see in movies and read in books that I said I would never fall into. It's kinda scary too because I don't wanna lose him and this is all so cliché and I just don't know what to feel. I stare at the floor for a minute and realize that Gilbert is next to me now.

Kiss.

Jesus Christ. How in the hell did we go from two random distant people to you-saved-me-from-my-father-and-my-home-and-bought-me-ice-cream-and-held-me-and-now-you-love-me-and-i-think-i-love-you-too? It's so strange because it all happened so fast but it feels so right. For once, something feels right. 

"Wynne," he starts, "I don't know how this all happened but..."

"Gilbert. It's fine." I smile.

We part ways and we go to sleep. In love.

I wake up the next morning and since it's Sunday, we stay home. I don't know how to act around Gilbert now, but I guess I should just act the same. Sunday morning in the Grape house is quite the scene. I come downstairs to find a preacher on the TV and the whole family, minus Arnie, is gathered around, laughing. I sit down beside Gilbert, but not too close because I don't know if he's told his family yet. 

"Morning," I say, "Nice little thing you've got going on here," I add, pointing to an over enthusiastic priest, throwing his arms all around.

"Oh," he gives a half laugh, "Yeah, I guess. Just what we've been doing for years now."

I nod, "I like it. Where's Arnie?" 

"He's outside, probably hiding in his tree."

I nod, "Mind if I go outside?"

"Not at all," he smiles.

I head outside and pretend like I can't find Arnie, even though he's completely visible sitting in his big sycamore tree. I run all around pretending to search for him. His laughter is growing out of control and I'm afraid he'll fall off his branch so I look up suddenly and say, "Arnie!" And he laughs even harder.

"Hey, guys, Mr. Lamson needs me to come in, I guess with fourth of July being so close they're getting pretty busy and need some extra help," Gilbert calls from the porch. "I'll be back soon, alright?"

"Alright," I say and wave to him. I turn to Arnie and ask, "Do you wanna swing on the swing?"

Arnie nods and clambers down, finally ending up on the tire swing tied to one of the branches. I grab the rope and twist it up so that the swing and Arnie spin when I let go. He cracks up at this. I manage to keep his attention for a while by repeating this. Every time I do this he just laughs harder and harder, which makes me laugh. We play around in the yard for quite a while, but soon he gets bored.

"Wanna take a walk, Arnie?" I ask him.

"Jeez, sure, Wynne, sure," he hops of the swing and we start walking. 

We walk all over town, and I carefully avoid the water tower to make things easier on all of us. The heat is unbearable, at least when someone is in jeans- which I am. Arnie is too but he doesn't seem to mind at all. Somehow we end up in a neighborhood. 

The Carver's neighborhood.

Gilbert's truck is in the driveway of the Carver house.

I make no effort to be sneaky, I walk right up to the window. Mrs. Carver is is hanging on Gilbert. She's about to kiss him. I see it in her eyes. Gilbert's back is turned from the window so I stay watching. Arnie is still behind me, and I hang onto him but don't let him see through the window. I watch the scene unfold. Betty kisses his neck, his cheek. He continues to unpack groceries. I cannot decide if he is distant, or paralyzed with... I don't know. He turns around. I duck but still peek through the window. He pushes Betty off of him.

"Arnie, you wanna race home?!" I ask, in a hurry to get away.

"Yeah!" He says. We take off and I lead the way, turning the nearest corner before letting Arnie pass me.

We get home before Gilbert does, and I try to act as if we've been home this whole time. I let Arnie go play and I sit on the porch. I'm not sure what to think about Gilbert and Mrs. Carver's little affair. He pushed her away I guess. It's not really him, it's Mrs. Carver. I guess its not his fault she kissed him. His truck pulls into the driveway soon and he gets out. I wonder if he loves her. He comes over and sits down on the porch with me.

"I saw you... At Be- Mrs. Carver's," he says.

"Oh, well... It's not because I don't trust you I just... Arnie and I..."

Kiss.

Damn.

"I'm sorry." I whisper, running my fingers through his hair. "For just barging in on your life."

"I'm not," he whispers, and holds my hand in both of his. 

I sit there for a moment and stare at him. My heart beats really fast again. I study his eyes. There isn't such a pained, distant look there anymore. I wonder if my eyes have changed in the same way. We go inside and up to Gilbert's room. We both sit, Indian style, on the floor and we kinda just look at each other. And it feels so good to be able to just look at someone and be okay with it. It feels great, actually. 

"So..." He breaks the silence, "How do you like staying with Amy?" 

It's one of those awkward i-really-like-you-but-can't-get-out-what-i-really-wanna-say type questions. Or at least, that's what it would be if I had asked it. "Oh, uhm, I like it, she's really nice, always feels like she's watching out for you, y'know?" 

"Yeah, it's one of the best things about Amy." He breaks into a grin.

"I'm sorry I was - am - so lost... I'm sorry my asshole of a father came and threatened you, and I'm... I don't know. I feel like I've done something wrong..."

"Don't be sorry," he hugs me. 

We stay up late in the night, just talking and staring. It's peaceful, just me and him in the dark, sitting on the floor. The house has been unusually quiet, and I take it that the family has realized what's going on between me and Gilbert and are letting us have some quiet time. Soon enough our conversation dies out and we fall asleep on the floor. I'm cuddled up to him, my head and hand on his chest when we're both awoken by an awful pounding at the door.