Frontlines

32.

XXXX-04-18

I haven't told you the truth, sister. I didn't tell you the full story of the Civic Center incident.

Well, I was caught. I sure paid the price, too.

The Overseers never saw me with the files but that didn't stop them from arresting me. I was in a restricted area. They found me with the stolen code, but they don't know where I went or what I was looking for.

So that's why I didn't write these notes for so long. The notes... these stupid notes I never really send. It began with just me missing you, but now I know I can't send these, ever. An Overseer would intercept them, then we'd both be in for it.

Oh, how far have we fallen? What have we gotten ourselves into now?

And... I was in questioning after I was caught. The Overseers found out that you went off to battle, but that I'm sick. Dad used my condition as an excuse. He said I was acting like this because your absence drove me crazy and I wanted you back.

Well, I do. I'm not crazy, though. I just miss you, is that so strange?

So the Overseers may not know what I did, but they aren't hesitating to keep me quiet. They talked to the medicinal clerk and convinced him of some kind of deal. Long story short, my six pills have turned into thirteen. Thirteen pills. Some kind of rainbow that'd make, huh? And with constant monitoring, there's no way around the medication.

I know, it sounds bad. Well, sister, I want to be honest with you as much as possible.

It is. I feel terrible.

Do you... remember the week after my sixth birthday? It was the first sign that something was wrong. I don't remember it well, just collapsing.

Or was it a breakdown?

Anyway, that's when I got my first pill. I thought that was bad. It's funny, how things change so quickly.

And I've heard about this treatment before. A sudden rise in dosage keeps the victim quiet, or if that doesn't work, eventually kills them. Meanwhile, the victim isn't permitted to leave their home. Some punishment that is. The residential school is gone, and I don't have anywhere to go or anyone still here with me.

I'm now a threat to the system, and I'm on lockdown. This 'medicine' is going to make me really sick really fast. Mom, Dad, even I can't do anything about it.

But I won't die like this. I'll find someway out of this unsolicited contract before you even board that ship for home. I'll keep my health up as much as I can, too.

I just hope a message from you soon will help me feel better.