The Ash&Hali Show

Ash's Mystery Love Letter

Hey everyone!! This is Hali on my sissy from another missy's account. Yes I know her password, we are that close!! Now, I would make the Ash&Hali show on my account but my account is poop. Anyway, I'm really digging this song by Eminem called "Beautiful," it's so heart-melting. You lot should listen to it. I guarantee you will love it. Back to the Show!!!

~**~

 Ash: HEY WELCOME BACK TO THE ASH&HALI SHOW!!!THIS IS BOUND TO BE AN ADVENTURE!!! WE HAVE A NEW SEGMENT!! Love Letters to Hali!!! :D today's show is dedicated to Love Letters to Hali! I hope you read the chatroom edition, or else you won't know what we're talking about!

Hali: C'mon Ash it was sweet. Ash, no being mean.

Ash: -_- sowwyyyyyyy.... But can we at least crush Bob the Cowslayer?

Hali: Ya know I did get a letter for you ;)

Ash: *turns pale* what.

Ash: Umm..... Uh... Who- who sent it? What does it say? And Bob was mean. He kills baby cows. He didn't tell you THAT in his letter, now did he?

Hali: Yup. It's cute. I hope Jakey doesn't get jelly!! It's from 'Your secret admirer"

Ash: Oh my Lord in heaven, hallowed be thy name, deliver us from evil, for thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory forever, amen

Hali: Amen, do you wanna know what it said, Church girl?

Ash: By the way... *whispers* Speedy tracked down Bob, Mr. Cray Cray, and the strip club dude and beat them up.

Hali: *Getting Angry* He what?!

Ash: Yeah, Speedy said he was going to lock you in the house for a week so he could make sure nobody bothered you.

Hali: Please, I dare him to even think about trying to restrain me.

Ash: He got chains... and handcuffs ;)

Hali: THATJERK!! WHY I OUGHTTA....... the handcuffs though hmmm we can work with that hehe

Ash: Calm down, Hali, he's over-protective. Not to mention possessive. How about we skip the letters and go attack Speedy for what he's done? It shouldn't wait till later....

Hali: No no, I wanna talk about this letter for you.... BUUUTTT after this commercial break ;0

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OSTRICH SALE AT Skull_Candy's Pet Store!!! COMPLETE WITH DRAGONS AND UNICORNS, AND A FREE PENGUIN FOR EVERY PURCHASE OF TWO ANIMALS OR MORE!!!

DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU LITERALLY ARE WHAT YOU EAT? EVERYTHING YOU EAT GETS PROCESSED DOWN TO YOUR BONES AND ACTUALLY IS IN YOUR BONES SO YEAH YOU LITERALLY ARE A HAMBURGER, AND OR THOSE CHILI CHEESE DOGS YOU JUST ATE! BWAHAHHAHAHAH

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Ash: Umm.. Okay... *gulps* commercial break... Is over... Sooooo... Hali's turn... Soooo... Yeahhh... Her turn.... To speak... Right now.... O_O

Hali: eh eh eh. Lemme tell you...

Ash: O_O

Hali: Dear my sweet Ashley...

Ash: Oh me.... O_- I can't watch... Jake save me! Heart don't fail me now!!

Hali: I've watched you for a while and I couldn't help but admire your beauty and tranquility, the way you talk and the way you move with such grace. How grateful you are and how you're such a good leader to your people and I will have you. Jake will watch me woo you into my arms and you and I shall be together forever.

SO much love it's unbelievable,

Your secret admirer

P.S. Your body looked amazing in that dress at the dance ;)

Ash: I can't breathe. I CANNOT BREATHE!! *starts hyperventilating*

Catrina: O_O Hali, she dies, you're in trouble. Jake will personally tear the dude who sent it apart. He'll carve him up, a horrible, gruesome, painfully slow death. Especially when he just flicks his claw leisurely every once and while to carve him up. He'll then tear him apart with his teeth after he decides he's bored with torturing him. It's what happened to that other guy who tried to win her. Jake was SO mad, I was sca- I mean, I was scrambling to calm people down.

Hali: Catrina? Where did you come from?

Catrina: I've been here. Standing, quite obviously, in the shadows. In plain sight. Right in the middle of the shadow behind me.

Hali: Well, ladies and gentlemen, make some noise for my close personal fried Miss Catrina!!

*Catrina waves boredly, obviously unaffected by the large crowd.*

Hali: *whispers* where is he now? Jake I mean.

Catrina: In the middle of a dragon hunt. Well, finishing it off, actually. He'll be mad. And he's probably already sensed her panic. He's BOUND to come.

Ash: *still hyperventilating*

Hali: *snaps for a producer to bring her some water* We'll be right back ladies and gentlemen after this commercial break!

 _____________________________________________________________________________________________-Commercial of ASPCA rolls on......

BEHIND THE SCENES OF THE A&H SHOW!! ^.^

*feeds Ash water*

Hali: Oh, Ash please calm down!

Ash: I'm much better now, thanks! Jake came! And Hali is hiding the laptop. Jake is being nice and pretending he doesn't know where it is.

*Hali blows up laptop*

Hali: Whoops! now back to the A&H show!

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*Crowd claps vigorously excited ad surprised to see someone new on the Ash&Hali Show.

*Hali fixing her wind-blown hair and giving a wide smile*

Hali: Hello everyone and please put your hands together for Ashley's mate and my brother in law Mister Jake Emperor of Tawaii!

*Crowd goes wild*

*Jake remembers that Hali blew up the laptop*

Jake: *in Nabican form* *deep-throated growl*

Hali: ASH!!! *Climbs on top of Ashley* Ash tell Jake not to eat me or feed me to the dragons!!

Ash: Get off me! Get off me! Jeez, I'm not in Nabican form, you can't just hop on for a piggy-back ride!

Hali: Ash, don't make a fuss!!! Jake will eat your best friend if you do!!!

Ash: He looks like he wants to tear someone apart.

Jake: *terrifying death glare at every male in the room*

Hali: Jeez Jake calm down. I get Ash is pretty sexy but not every male is gonna chase after her! They have mates ya know...

Ash: Don't worry, he just wants to rip the writer apart. That's all.

Catrina: You better just move on Hali... Or back away...

Jake: *growl grows stronger*

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TO BE CONTINUED!! STAY TUNED FOLKS!! MWAHHH KISSES FOR ALL OF YOU FROM HALI... ASH ONLY GIVES HUGS SO HERE ARE SOME HUGS FROM ASH!!! I LOVE YOU ALL SOOO MUCH!!

Love Kinzee