I know you haven't made your mind up yet

Part 11: Secrets kill

The tears fell down Nick's face, he had managed to make his way to his an Carla's favourite place down the river. No matter how he tried to justify it to himself he could get over the fact he had hurt the woman of his dreams, his everything. Not only had he physically hurt her but he had tried to force her to have sex with him.

The thoughts circled Nick's head whilst he sat on the bench besides the canal. How cold would it be? Would it kill me instantly? How deep is the water? What's in there?

After contemplating for a good fifteen minutes Nick cried some more curling himself into a ball on the bench, the alcohol clearly wearing off now. What was the reasoning behind his attack? This was all very sudden and out of the blue wasn't it? Or was it? Little did anyone else know other than Nick but he hadn't been himself for months, hiding it with every method it took its toll finally. Nicks brain injury had resurfaced and the doctors couldn't even give him a definite diagnosis, all they could do was give him medication to help with his mood swings, and it worked. The medication that Nick had on him now, one tablet every four hours and no more. Reaching into his pocket and finding the pills Nick took a deep breath, he knew exactly what he was going to do.

'Where is he? Is everything okay? Is he alone? Who is with him?' Were a few of the questions that Carla had on her mind. Delicately, she took her make up off her face. The mascara that had run down her cheeks was the first to go until she had no make up on whatsoever. She pinned her hair back into a loose pony tail and threw on some casual clothes, her black jeans with a vest top, one of nicks hoodies that would keep her warm finishing with her knee high boots. No matter what had gone on she had to find him, he was drunk and alone. Carla was worried and she had every single reason to be.

Knowing Nick so well Carla had an idea he might have gone to their place, they often went alone too whenever they needed space or just some time to think.

"Hey..." She whispered kneeling down beside Nick.

"Car, baby... I'm so sorry." He whispered feeling the tears beginning to form. "I did this?" He said biting his lip whilst placing his hand upon her cheek brushing it against the small cut she had.

"Shh..." She whispered wrapping her arms around Nick.

He held onto his wife as he cried, allowing himself to cry and be weak in front of her for one. Nicks eyes began to flicker now, it was becoming a task for him to even keep his eyes open.

"Somethings wrong? Nick? What is it?" She asked him feeling very panicky now.

Going to speak, Nick physically couldn't. He tried to reach for the pills but ended up dropping the empty bottle on the floor. He had taken them all, oh god. He had been so stupid.