The Boy Next Door (A Harry Styles Fanfiction)

Chapter 32

I shakily put my hands against his chest, pushing him back a little.

"I don't think right now is the time." I decline his invitation of intimacy.

"What?" His face is full of confusion. He's not used to being rejected by me. Mainly because he's always used to getting his way.

"We can't keep doing this." I take a step back. "The whole getting over a fight and then.. well you know."

"O-okay." He runs his fingers through his hair, a clear sign of him being confused and flustered.

I feel my cheeks burn a bright red, but I shouldn't have to be embarrassed to decline sex. If I'm not comfortable with it, what's the big deal? He did say he didn't care about sex, right? Just stop Carter.

"I'm sorry." I say as he picks up his jeans from yesterday and throws them into his closet, missing the near by laundry basket.

"No. It's okay." His eyes meet mine. I flicker mine away. How does the atmosphere go from completely comfortable to awkward in the matter of seconds. It almost matches Harry's personality. Warm and comforting one minute, then cold and harsh the next. This whole back and forth was making me dizzy.

"Okay." I sigh.

A few seconds of silence pass as I scower the room for at least one article of my clothing.

"I-I don't have any clothes. I mean besides these." I shift the dress and heels I had collected from the floor from one arm to the other.

He walks to his dresser, opening a few drawers before digging a pair of jeans out of it.

"You left these here." He hands me the jeans, which I cautiously snatch.

"Thank you." I force the biggest half-smile I could manage.

He nods his head quickly as I walk to the bathroom.

"Wait." He calls out before I can turn the knob to the room.

I turn around, secretly hoping for one of his perverted remarks to lighten the mood.

"You're going to need a shirt." He throws me one of his shirts and flashes a smirk.

I almost feel something inside of me fall when he doesn't make one of his remarks. I was so used to them and our morning has already been a whirlwind.

I walk into the bathroom, closing the door behind me and quickly changing into my jeans and Harry's shirt. His scent fills my senses and I know he has worn this recently. The Rolling Stones plastered on the front, slightly faded. I pull my hair up into a ponytail and wipe a little of the smeared makeup from last night with a tissue before walking out of the bathroom. Harry is sitting at the end of the bed, his foot tapping wildly as he stares at his hands in his lap.

"Are you okay?" I make my way to him.

"Oh. Yeah. I'm just thinking."

I nod my head, not wanting to dig deep into his mind, so we don't have to replay the events of earlier this morning. I have to learn to stop being so damn curious.

"Lets just forget that everything happened this morning, alright baby?"

I don't know if that's going to help anything or not. Maybe if we forget about it, it will be less awkward, but none the less it's still going to he awkward. But if we don't forget it, we'll still be distant. This always happens. I have to stop looking so deep into things. It always gets me in trouble. "Sure." I quickly answer."

"Come here." He coaxes, holding out his arms. I oblige, walking into his comforting invitation.

"You don't have to be embarrassed if you don't want to fuck." He consoles me, wrapping his arms around my back. I snuggle up to his chest, studying the intricate pattern of the barely visible knit on his t-shirt.

"I know. It's just that I-I'm new at all of this." God. This is so embarrassing. No matter how much he says he doesn't care.

"I know baby." He runs his fingers along my spine. "That's why I'm here."

I can't help the small giggle that escapes my lips. He really did have a huge ego when it came to sex. Or anything for that matter. But it was really all just a cover up. I'm proud to say that I'm the only one who knows what's inside of him. The insecure, fragile, and emotional person hidden inside the intimidating, frightening, just pure angry shell.

"You know for someone that's new, you're really good at blowjobs." He smirks.

I swat his arm as he quickly kisses my lips.

"I love you baby."

"I love you." I smile.

I still don't understand how I'm still going in this short time of ups and downs. The frustrating part is I know there is so much more to come. I know this all isn't over. But he's worth it. He's so, so, so worth it. He's brought me alive. Away from my shy self when I'm with him. Without him, I'm nothing. And God does that sound desperate. But you can't understand it until you feel the adrenaline rush he creates with his touch. It's all just so much at once. I loved him and that was enough for me to stay.