Homewrecker With A Heart Of Gold (Patrick Stump FanFic ft. Zack Merrick)

Chapter 8

-Zack's POV-

I stood at the monkey enclosure, my arms crossed over my chest and Chase by my feet. He was gripping onto the fence separating the visitors from the long-term residents. His face was smushed up against the crossing wires with a smile stretching from ear to ear and excitement bubbling up inside of him as he watched the apes chase each other around, swing from the tree branches, and shove their mouths with the food provided to them by the zookeepers.

I glanced back over my shoulder, hoping I would see Gwen returning from her little trip to the bathroom, but I was met with only unfamiliar faces. The corner of my lips curled down ever so slightly in disappointment before I returned my attention forward, looking down at my son.

My son.

Chase was my son and I was his dad. But was I really?

Sure, I was his father biologically. He had my DNA and genes. He had my features, my characteristics. I was the person he called "Dad". But I wasn't his dad. I wasn't the person he wanted to read a bedtime story with. I wasn't the person he pictured playing catch with, teaching him how to drive, or giving him advice when he liked someone but didn't know what to do.

I was just..."Dad". The guy who was barely ever home. The guy who left Mommy alone in bed at night and wasn't there for him when he had a nightmare or couldn't fall asleep. The guy who he only was spending time with today because the other guy he wanted to spend time with was busy.

The other guy.

Patrick didn't know Gwen like I did. He didn't know the pain she caused, the story behind the mask she wore. He wasn't there for her through it all, through the good times and the bad times and every other kind of times. He was only there for her when I wasn't.

It was like we were on the subway. I'd gotten up from my place next to Gwen to check the map to see where the next stop was, and he just swooped in and took my seat, engaging her in a conversation and winning her heart over.

I knew she didn't love me anymore. I didn't want to know that, but I did. I saw it in her eyes when I came home. I saw it in the way the car ride here was completely silent, in the way we didn't have anything to say to each other, and if we did have something to say, we didn't want to vocalize it, it was better off not said. She was slowly drawing herself away from me, and I didn't know what to do to stop it.

"Mommy!" Chase exclaimed, pulling himself away from the fence and running away from me. I turned my head and saw Gwen approaching us, a pretzel and soft drink in her hands. I noticed in the sunlight that shone brightly in the sky that her cheeks were wet and her eyes were red and puffy, bloodshot. It was obvious that she had been crying, but she was trying her best to making it seem like she hadn't.

"Chase!" She exclaimed, her voice cracking as she tried to match his enthusiasm. She bent down so that she was eye level with him. "Look what I got you - your favorite!"

He squealed in delight and took the snack out of her possession, taking a big bite into it and tearing it apart with his teeth. Gwen giggled and glanced over his shoulder at me. I turned my head away and looked back at the monkeys.

Gwen bit her lip and stood up, telling Chase to go sit on the bench and wait for us. He nodded his head and wobbled over to the deserted bench in front of the enclosure across from the monkeys'. She heaved a sigh and walked over to me, slipping her hands into the pockets of her jeans as she joined my side.

"Zack, we need to talk."

I remained silent.

"Look, I can't tell you how sorry I-"

"You can't be sorry for something you're not sorry for," I muttered coldly, cutting her short.

She frowned and hung her head, playing with the hood strings of the sweatshirt she was wearing, my sweatshirt. Because of how quiet she was, I almost didn't hear her when she replied, "But I am."

"No you're not," I argued, finally looking over at her with a glare, unwilling to let go of what had happened, "You just don't like that I've caught on to you."

"Do you think I wanted you to find out like this?" She snapped at me out of frustration, meeting my gaze.

"How else did you want me to find out? Were you going to tell me yourself?" I nearly yelled at her, barely able to keep myself from losing my composure. She turned her head away from me to hide the tears that were starting to stream down her cheeks for the second time that day. People passing by gave us strange looks, making it evident that they were judging us. I let out a long breath and wrapped my arms around Gwen from the side, pulling her close to me and whispering gingerly in her ear, "Look, I get that you don't love me anymore-"

"Who told you that?" She asked, returning her gaze to me with her eyebrows furrowed together as if that was the first time she'd heard those words.

"No one had to tell me, Gwen," I murmured dismally, looking into her dark brown eyes, "It's obvious. You've been distancing yourself from me ever since..." My voice trailed off as I tried to figure out when it all began.

"Ever since the Believers Never Die Tour," My wife finished my sentence, taking in a deep breath and stepping away from me, "Look, Zack, I feel horrible about it-"

"Then why do you keep doing it?" I asked her, hurt lacing my voice, "If you feel horrible about it, you should've ended it." Before she could get another word in, I continued, "He's not me, Gwen. He's not the man who stayed when you told him you were pregnant. He's not the man who ditched his friends to be there for you when you were in the hospital giving birth to his son. He's not the man you married and vowed to spend the rest of your life with. And he's definitely not the man who's going to be there for you when this all blows up in your face." And with that, I turned away from her and walked over to Chase, slipping my hands underneath his arms and picking him up.

"Where are we going?" He inquired as I walked away, headed for the front of the park.

"Home," I answered bleakly, "We're going home."