Disconnected | Luke Hemmings

chapter nine

"So, I'm assuming Luke told you the news," Michael said amid a handful of Doritos. We were both sitting at the island in the kitchen at Luke's house. Calum, Ashton, and Luke were playing soccer outside in the front yard, but Michael hadn't wanted to go out, so I had offered to keep him company. We had helped ourselves to the copious supply of Doritos available in the Hemmings household. Liz always bought Luke's favorite snacks whenever he was home.

I nodded slowly. "Yeah. A couple days ago." I didn't really want to talk about it or think about it, but there was no avoiding it. I glanced over at Michael and felt a pang of sadness hit my heart as I realized that it wouldn't just be Luke leaving, but all four of them. I wanted to hug him, but I didn't want to get all upset and I didn't want Michael to see me like that, anyway.

Michael sighed. "Yeah. I mean, it's great for us and it's what we want to do, obviously. Leaving home is what sucks, though."

"I can imagine," I replied. I peered over my shoulder to take a peek out the front living room window. Cal and Luke were both trying to steal the soccer ball from Ash, who was actually pretty good at keeping it away despite the fact that Calum used to play soccer professionally. "I take it Luke and Cal are on good terms now?"

Luke hadn't said much about it when I had asked him earlier today, but according to him things were fine with Calum. I could sense that he was still a little on edge, but I didn't want to push the issue.

Michael shrugged. "I guess so. I mean, they got in a bit of a screaming match the other day, but Luke was kind of...pissed off to begin with. Frustrated and stuff."

"About LA?"

Michael nodded. "He really doesn't want to be away from you. Calum kind of made it seem like he had to choose between you or us, which totally isn't true, but Luke was pretty mad. They're fine now, though."

I bit into a chip and chewed distractedly, nodding absentmindedly at what Michael had said. He wouldn't have known, of course, but he had struck a chord. Clearly, he caught the expression on my face and somehow knew my train of thought.

"Hey," he said gently, "it's not your fault. And Calum doesn't really think that, anyway. He would never."

I shook my head. "But Michael, that's how I feel all the time. I always feel like I'm making him choose, or like I'm getting in the way of his dreams. I don't want to take anything away from him."

"But you're not. You're giving him something, instead."

I met Michael's eyes and he offered me an encouraging smile. He reached out and rubbed my shoulder soothingly. "Luke's a lot better off with you in his life, and he knows it. We all see it. I mean, yeah, it gets kind of complicated and stuff but it's also worth it, right?"

I nodded and felt myself begin to blush at my sudden display of vulnerability. "Yeah. It is. Sorry, I didn't mean to...yeah. Thanks, Michael."

"Anytime," he replied. I had to admit that it was nice to have a conversation with Michael about Luke that didn't involve any teasing or prying questions into our sex life. Then it was his turn to look sheepish. "But...uh...while we're on the subject of complicated things...I have to ask you about something."

"Go on," I urged, though I was sure I knew what was coming.

Michael inhaled deeply and then let a flood of words pass through his lips, so quickly that I struggled to retain all of it. "Okay so I'm sure you already know about me and Amy because you're her best friend and because she probably tells you all that stuff so first of all please don't hate me for making out with your best friend but, like, oh my God, I just don't even know what happened but then it kept happening and we both really liked it, so please don't hate me for making out with your best friend more than once. But I don't know what to do because I don't even know if she really likes me, but I think I like her and she's so nice and pretty and I just...aaaaggggghhh. Yeah. I don't know." He slumped down on the countertop and buried his head in his arms.