Disconnected | Luke Hemmings

chapter thirty five

Luke and I woke up the next morning to the most unwanted alarm I could have ever thought possible. Not only did it mean that I'd have to get ready to leave London, but it was horribly early to be waking up, considering the hour we eventually went to sleep the night before. I groaned in protest and reached around the bedside table for my phone so that I could turn off the alarm. I finally managed to hit the off button and set my phone back down. I wished more than anything that I could just fall back asleep with Luke, or that we could have even one more hour of peace and quiet before we had to get up and face the day.

"What time is it?" Luke grumbled beside me, sliding an arm around my waist to pull me in so that my back was pressed against his chest.

"8:30..." I replied unhappily.

Luke sighed. "Too early."

"I know."

I rolled over so that I could face him and nuzzled my face into his shoulder. "I want to stay here—right here—with you. All day. All week, even."

"Yeah. Me too."

My mind was beginning to wake up a little more, and I became hyperaware of the fact that I wasn't wearing any clothes, and neither was Luke. The memory of last night filled my head, and I smiled quietly to myself at the thought of it.

"Last night was...something," I said happily, not really knowing what other word to use to describe it. Luke understood though. He always did. "I really missed you."

Luke rubbed his hand up and down my arm gently. "I missed you, too. I missed everything. Seeing you, holding you, spending the night with you...waking up to you," he nudged my bare legs with his own pointedly and smiled down at me while brushing loose strands of my hair away from my face. "You look beautiful in the morning, you know. I know you don't think you do, but to me..." he trailed off, seeming at a loss for words.

I planted a soft kiss on his shoulder and then brought a hand to his face as I looked up at him. "I love you," I told him.

"I love you more," he said quietly, and then leaned in to kiss me for a moment before pulling away with a sigh. "I don't want you to go today...but...I can't think of a way you would have made me any happier right now than coming out here to see me. I really needed this."

I smiled at him for a moment and was about to say something in response, but Luke's words made my mind start spinning way too fast and I started thinking too much. I started thinking about all of my conversations with Michael, and about how Luke had seemed so lonely and sad at times on the last tour, and about how he wasn't himself, and I couldn't live with that if it happened again and I didn't say anything to him. I bit my lip; Michael had asked me not to say anything. But this was my boyfriend, and my hours left with him in this city and in this bed and in his arms were limited.

"Luke..." I began quietly. "I just...look, Michael told me some...things...about last time on tour. And he told me not to tell you that he said anything, but...ugh, okay, I don't really know how to word anything right now. I know it would be stupid to tell you not to feel lonely or sad or whatever, because, well, it's us. I just don't want you to lose a part of yourself on account of me, that's all. I just want you to be happy."

"Danielle, I am happy," Luke insisted. He placed a hand on my hip as he looked into my eyes. "Last time...last tour was hard, you know? It was weird. It messed with my head, for some reason. This time feels different though. I promise." He paused, drumming his fingers on my hip bone absentmindedly as he tried to form the words he wanted to say. "It's not like me and the boys ever talked about stuff like that. Or at least I didn't want to. But...I'm happy. I'm okay. I'm really okay, actually. Especially with you here. All I meant when I said that I needed this was that I needed to see you. I needed to hold you again and be with you, because I miss you so much. But it's not like I'd ever forget how exciting it is to be doing what I'm doing."