Secrets and School

Chapter 16

TRIGGER WARNING: Self-harm, violence, homophobic and transphobic language.

We are going to be jumping to two months after Jake came out as trans to Zoe.

It had been two months since I came out to Zoe as trans. She didn't treat me any differently, she treated me as any other guy. I was the happiest I had been in a long while. I hadn't cut whatsoever since I came out to Zoe...that means I am two months clean. That is a huge milestone for me. As far as I am aware, Zoe has only hurt herself twice in the last two months, which is a huge milestone for her. Everything seems to be going extremely well for us...are we dating? No. Do we have any intentions of dating? No, but who knows what could happen.

Charlie and me have grown close, mostly due to artwork, but now we are very close friends. Which is really nice as he as been able to come out of his shell a bit more. He wears his glasses now which he was too worried to wear before when being in Declan's group. As he thought he would have the piss taken out of him, but now he has a whole new group of friends who are extremely kind and accepting. In fact his grades have sky rocketed because he is now able to actually see the board in class. His girlfriend has also changed her ways and is much nicer to Zoe...so much so, she and Zoe are practically sisters.

As for Declan...well...his girlfriend caught him snogging a guy...and looked through his phone and his various text messages to people. He clearly stated he was gay and was only with her to hide that fact. Turns out he had been dating this guy for almost a year, while dating his girlfriend at the same time...without her even having any suspicions. She the day  after she discovered this she immediately outed him publicly in front of the whole year group in the middle of assembly. Followed by her slapping him and being escorted out the room. Declan did get bullied a lot in that first week but it seems to have died down now. He still goes around bullying everyone, hence Charlie doesn't want to be friends with him. Charlie doesn't care that Declan is gay, he just hates how he bullies everyone. Charlie is a very accepting person.

Things seemed to be going well for me and my little group of friends...too well.

We were sat in form as usual when a boy who I recognised walked in. Our form tutor stood up to introduce him. "This is Alex. He will be joining our school and this form group. Please treat him well and help him around school until he gets settled."

I immediately start breathing faster, the room goes blurry slightly. Zoe is holding my hand. I try to focus on that. Slowly I calm down, and Zoe looks at me in concern. "Jake, you haven't had a panic attack in ages, is everything alright?"

"Yeah, everything is fine. I don't know what came over me. I am fine now." I replied quietly. I was far from fine...Alex. He was one of the worse bullies at my previous school...in fact he was the ring leader of the group who bullied me...shit. Luckily he didn't see me and went and sat with a group of boys at the back of the room. They all did the 'bro handshake' and started talking to him.

Everything went smoothly until break...

"Jade?" I heard from behind me, Zoe and my small group of friends. We were sat in the dining hall as it was raining so we didn't go to our usual spot in the overgrown 'forest', as it was referred to. "Jade?" I looked down. Please say there is someone called Jade in here and the person isn't referring to my birth name. I heard someone approach us. "Jade it is you!" I turned to see Alex staring at me.

"I am sorry but who the fuck is Jade?" Zoe called out to Alex.

"This tranny here." Alex said slapping my shoulder.

"No that is Jake. Not Jade. Not tranny." Zoe said, visibly getting angry. She stood up with her fist clenched at her sides.

"Hey everyone!" Alex shouted at the top of his lungs. "This thing right here has been tricking you. This thing isn't a guy. It is a girl. A freak. A tranny."

I didn't hear him finish the rest. I just ran as fast as I could. I didn't realise where I was running to until I began to focus on my surroundings. I was in the disabled toilet. That I use to get changed in for PE. I had locked myself in here away from everyone. I heard a knock at the door. "Jake, can I come in?" I heard Zoe. "It's only me and Charlie." She said.

I unlocked the door and let them in. As soon as they were in, I locked the door behind them. I was so scared Alex had followed them. I looked at the two of them who had seated themselves on the tiled floor. Charlie's eye had a slight blue tinge to it...and it was beginning to swell. "Charlie...what the hell happened to your eye?" I asked, my voice hushed.

"As soon as you ran Alex went to hit Zoe. I jumped in front of her and got hit instead. I then punched him back. He fell to the floor. I don't know if he was unconscious or whatever. But I grabbed Zoe and ran here with her as we assumed this would be where you ran to." He explained, taking deep breaths, still recovering from the run here. "Is it true?" He asked looking at me.

"Is what true?" I asked, I knew what he was referring to, but I wanted to be sure.

"That you are transgender?" He asked, his breathes coming easier now.

"Yeah, it's true. My birth name was Jade, hence he called me that. But I have had all my documents legally changed so they all say Jake and male. Instead of Jade and female. But unfortunately there's those people from my old school who remember me as Jade, and becoming Jake. They weren't accepting and I had to move because the bullying became so bad. That's why I moved here. Alex was the ring leader of the bullies at the school I moved from. That's why I panicked in form because I was worried he would recognise me and out me. Well now that's happened I don't know what I am going to do. Does it bother you that I am trans?" I said, sliding down to the floor facing Charlie.

"No, it doesn't bother me Jake. You're an amazing, kind and caring human being, who helped me come out of my shell. I have nothing bad to say about you. Why would you being trans change any of that?" He replied, looking sincere. I shuffled over to him and hugged him tightly. He returned that hug just as tightly. We looked over at Zoe and indicated her to join. We sat there for five minutes, all three of us, in each others embraces.

"We need to go to Miss Smith. To get this solved." Zoe suggested. We pulled away from each other and stood up and collected our bags and left to Miss Smith's office. The bell had gone a while ago so there was very little possibility of having another unfortunate encounter with Alex. We arrived at Miss Smith's office. She was typing away at her computer.

"Hello Jake, Zoe, Charlie...how can I help you?" She said looking rather confused. We sat down and explained the events of today from start to finish, making sure every detail was covered. Once that was over she requested that I went home so she could resolve the situation today so when I returned tomorrow there was no chance of me being harmed, mentally or physically. Charlie and Zoe went back to class but were allowed to leave class to sit with Miss Smith at anytime, if they felt like they couldn't cope for whatever reason. Dad came to pick me up within a few minutes of Miss Smith calling him. She explained the situation to him and how she would resolve it. Dad agreed with her and drove me home.

When we arrived home he asked if I wanted to discuss what happened. But me being me I declined. He left me be and I went up to my room and curled up under multiple blankets on my bed. I silently cried. The events of today repeating over and over again in my mind. I grabbed my blade and sat on my bed cutting at my wrists. I didn't care how deep they were or how much they bled. I felt two hands grab mine, I felt the blade get taken from me. I looked up to see Zoe,  with tears in her eyes.