I sighed in irritation as anxiousness gripped me, so many thought, so many questions, so many assumptions ping-ponged inside my brain leaving me feeling irked. I, distastefully pushed the blanket off of me and stood up.
After making my mind about meeting Manjari, I set about finishing my work and informed Soniksha to clear my schedule as I made my way out of the office. To say I was high strung to come face to face with her would be and understatement.
Sleep had never been a generous friend of mine. My relationship with sleep has always that of love and hate and it seemed a period of hate was going on today because it has completely escaped me today.thoughts, memories swirled like a tornado inside my mind further pushing sleep away.
Picking up my cell I looked up my mail not seeing the mail that should have been there ages ago, I called up my agent.
"Good evening, Mr. Goenka. We have been searching for Ms Manjari-"
"You no good, money hungry bitches! You had one job that of finding her but for five years you turned up with nothing, for five years I paid you just for you to turn up with no results on my table. After this long I find out that she from past few days is here in the same goddam city."
"Mr. Goenka I-"
"I don't want to hear your shitty excuses. I would not be needing your services anymore."
I flicked my hand sending my cell landing on the bed with a thud. I sat on my bed with my fingers in my hair, forming a fist I yanked hard, relying on the pain to give a jerk to my brain so that I can get a break from haunting memories that leave me with a sharp ache in my chest and wetness on my cheeks. I wanted freedom. A route to escape. I yearned to feel lightheaded as a feather, drifting through the wind, going where the gusty blows of air take me as if i was not weighed down by my past.
The one who can give me all this, is at the other end of the city. So close yet too far.
I once again picked my cell and scrolling down in my contact coming to a stop at the one I wanted.
"Hello? Who is this?" Said the person on another end with a hoarse voice as if woken from a deep slumber.
"Swayam. I will come tomorrow. Message me the address, Shormishta" I said, ending the call before she could reply.
Within next 2 minutes I had the address of the house which held the key to my freedom.
----------------------------
Next day
I slowly pulled my Audi A8 L to a stop in front of a blue, two storied house. Looking at the nameplate at the wall it was confirmed that I was at the right address. Switching off the engine, I could not find it in myself to ring the bell. I did not know whether I was yet ready to face heart's nemesis. It was so easy to hang onto to the memories of hers, her laughter, the V that formed between her eyes in confusion, her smile that lit up my whole world. Her cascading laughter. Every single thing about her revolved around my brain each moment I spent with her fighting to come up to the forefront to haunt me. Every conversation of ours vibrated my eardrums. All our moments soon turned into noise. Noise so loud that it was deafening in its silence.
Looking down my hands I saw they shook with tremors, glancing over to side mirror I noticed small beads of sweat forming on my forehead. The first signs that I was going to have an anxiety attack. I clutched my fingers into fists forcing my lungs to cooperate and not let the breathlessness over power me. Forcing my fingers to work I desperately opened the cabinet, throwing everything out onto the passenger seat rummaging through it all I found what I needed. Anti - anxiety pills. I quickly opened the top and took out a pill and popped it in my mouth quickly swallowing it down. I bent my head to the steering wheel and tight squeezed my eyes shut. Breathing as my psychologist instructed.
Breath in. Hold. Breathe out. Breathe in. Hold. Breathe out.
I followed the breathing pattern for awhile and when I was confident in my calmness I wiped the sweat beads off my forehead and stepped out. Brushing away the creases that could have made their way onto my blue shirt, I made my way to the porch of Shormishta's house. With trembling fingers I pressed the doorbell and quickly shoved my hand into the pocket of my grey slacks.
Soon the door opened revealing Shormishta on the other side, her face held a sense of relief that I was seeking for so fiercely. "You came " she breathe.
"Where is she?" I didn't care about the pleasantries right now.
"Inside my room" she said opening the door wider, silently inviting me in.
"Lead the way." I said.
"Look Swayam, before you meet her, I want to make somethings clear--"
"I don't have time for this Shormista. You begged For me to come. So I came but I want to get this over with as quickly as possible. I have more important work to do." Total lie. I wanted my answers and I was ready to wait for as long as it took. I was desperate.
"As you wish." She sighed turning around and walking forward into the house.
Time to face the music.
--------------------------------------
Sort of a filler. I was too tired to write their meeting. I wanted to portray the turmoil within Swayam prior to his meeting. I hope I did good??
Do leave a comment, like and vote. I would love to hear how you want their meeting to go.
YOU ARE READING
Starry Nights
Ficção GeralSwayam's heart has been scarred. Badly. His days are spent moving forward and nights remembering about the past. But what will happen when his past is no longer contained to nights but also consumes his every waking moment when SHE comes back. Wil...
