Exposed

2

The funeral was bad.

My mum shakes me awake, she hands me a cup of coffee and flashes me a sympathetic look, before gesturing to the dark clothes I was to wear. Going to your best friend's funeral isn't exactly something you want to do, but not exactly something you want to avoid either. I stumble over to the bathroom and splash ice cold water on my face, but I can barely feel it. Everything is blurred and unreal.

The car drive is mostly silent. Mum speaks a few words about teachers and homework but my father stops her, I am glad, all I want is to be left alone. The service is depressing as ever, everyone wipes tears and I feel as if everyone's eyes are on me at all times. I felt like I could cry buckets but yet I couldn't even force my eyes to produce one tear. I felt guilty, I felt like it was all my fault. I knew deep down, it wasn't my fault but that didn't stop the constant chanting in my head that forced me to stay out of focus in the real world.

"It's all my fault, it's all my fault, it's all my fault..."

I feel a hand tug on my shoulder, I realize everyone is heading up and leaving, thank god. I clamber into the back of the car and lie down, a tear finally decides to break out of its prison and roll down my cheek. The chanting in my head continues as we turn off the road and park outside the cemetery. I then realize we weren't heading home after all. Watching them lower my best friend into her grave, her new home, was when reality and realization finally hit me. After throwing my bit of dirt over her coffin I turn and run, down the hill, around the block and straight out in front of a moving car.

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(I have no idea if anyone reads this story but oh well, I like writing it so I will continue. 

Haven't updated in a while oops, I just had so much homework to do, if you are reading this, thank you so much :D )