Exposed

11

I clutch onto the photograph and lay there as my head spiraled into all sorts of horrible thoughts, I heard a knock on my door, causing me to abruptly stand up, opening it only to see Hunter and Lily standing there. They both wear a smile on their faces, but it soon turned into concern when the saw the streaks that my tears had left on my cheeks. I quickly put the photo in my pocket as Lily immediately jumped in, hugging me and rambling, asking all sorts of questions, while Hunter awkwardly stood there before hesitantly patting me on the head. I laughed a bit at Lily's panic and Hunter's pathetic attempt at comforting me, before assuring them that I was 'fine'.

I get up and close the door a blast of wind smacks against my face and helps cool down my face, which is probably beetroot red from my crying.

"Umm, do you guys want hot cocoa?" I ask, turning to them.

"Sure." says Lily, "Here, I'll go make it, you stay here and relax okay?" She smiles before heading over to the kitchen and flicking on the kettle.

Hunter takes a seat on the couch and I pace back and forth before him, trying to get my head around things. Well, not that I was trying to understand anything but my mind was racing and I couldn't get my thoughts to quieten down. I almost don't hear Hunter speak to me over the load monologue inside my head.

"Are you sure you're okay Charlie?"

"Yeah..." I hesitate, "...no." He nods his head as if telling me to continue. I take a seat next to him,
"I'm sick of pretending, sick of hiding. I can't stop what happened but I shouldn't hide from it anymore. It's an event of my life that changed things, turned everything upside down and I need to talk to people about it, I need...." I hear Lily's footsteps and I quickly stop talking and run to help her with the cocoa.

She thanks me for the help and I take a sip of the warm drink, almost wanting to pretend the start of my previous conversation with Hunter had never happened. Deep down though I knew there was no hiding it, I needed to talk to somebody about what happened other than Jack. If anybody would be good to talk to get this off my chest, I knew it would be the people sitting next to me.

Lily puts her arm around me as I take a sip.

"You know how when I moved here, I wanted to change my name?" I said to Lily in a small voice, she nodded her head and so I continued "Well there's actually a bigger reason for that.."

They both look at me encouragingly and I begin to spill out my past story to them. I pull out the photo in my pocket out and point to Annabelle.

"This is Annabelle." I say. "She was my best friend for as long as I can remember. The sister I never had, if you know what I mean?"

They nod and I continue. "We basically grew up together, we were so close, closer than I am with my family or anyone for that matter. Her parents always disliked me but that was okay because she didn't really let her parents have a say in most things."

"But on the 7th of July we were rushing home and we ran across a busy highway, I tried to stop her but she didn't understand me and she got hit by a truck, and passed away in hospital just over an hour afterwards."

"Her parents blamed me, most people back there still think I did it, like I pushed her in front of the truck or something. Sometimes I even wonder if that is what happened. No one was there to see it, after all.

No one liked me that much back then, only Annabelle, I was lost without her, all my peers thought I killed her and half the adults, mature I know. When she was gone I just didn't know what to do, I couldn't comprehend my feelings or anything, I just wanted it to stop." My voice is shaking by now but I continue, "All of it. I thought that I could go out and join her, I saw my chance and I took it. But then, you came" I look to Hunter, "the next thing I knew I wasn't dead, you saved me."

I breathe in a long shaky breath and the pair throw their arms around me, their warmth closing in on me like

They look at me, processing it, before lily wraps her arms around me, giving me a long hug, while Hunter sits still, seemingly deep in thought. I smile at him, reassuring him that I'm alright, though the tear stains on my face would suggest otherwise.

Eventually Lily lets go and puts her hand on my shoulder, locking me in to face her.

"Thank you, for telling me" she says.

I needed to be alone.

I nod and smile. "No thank you, it feels better being able to get things out" I look up at the clock, it was semi late. "You guys should get going." I say. Lily gives me a worried glance, as if she is worried to leave me alone.

"I'll be fine." I smile reassuringly. They both hug me again and set off hand in hand, I head back in and dial the number.