*Fay's P.O.V.*
So many questions run through my mind; I'm so confused on what's happening. More so confused that to why Josh would leave me here? The whole reason to why I broke out of that confining hospital is getting away from the craziness of this family. Well they're not exactly bending over backwards and chanting some Latin phrase, but I'm not used to them. Yes I know that doesn't make sense because I was too quick to trust Josh, although he was the only thing that was left in my thoughts so I had no choice. Where else was I supposed to go? I'm glad I found him. I'm glad he helped me instead of pushing me back onto the streets because I'm crippled. I'm glad he was the number that was screaming inside me. Why did he have to send me back? That was a rhetorical question I know why he send me back to this strange family. He did it because he loves me and I'm pretty sure if he didn't they would've sent out a search warrant. It's weird because when I sleep I dream of these situations good, bad, sad, ugly, and quite disturbing. I think I'm remembering my past. Slowly but surely it's coming back to me, but I'm not entirely sure about it; when I get the chance, which I don't know will happen, then I will ask Josh about it. I miss him. He helped me then abandoned me. He pulled the rope to pick me back up and over the cliff but then just let go. Now I'm endlessly falling hoping he'll become my superman and catch me before I hit the ground.
Right now I'm in my old room rolling around in the small space looking and observing my old life. I stop in front of a dresser and pick up a picture frame of two kids with party hats on. A girl with short blonde hair and a boy with shaggy brown hair that makes him look like he just woke up. I open up the frame and take out the picture. On the back of the picture of the little girl and boy it says 'Fay and Josh at Fay's 12th birthday party September fifth 2009'. So that's my birthday? Everything is so strange. Why did this happen to me? All of the sudden a jolt of pain runs through my head and I have to bite my tongue in order not to scream. Flashes of what appears to be a memory start appearing in my brain.
"Josh do you want to help me cut the cake?" I hear a high pitch voice speak then I realize that's me talking. "Josh?" I notice that Josh isn't around me. I call out his name and look around but I don't see anyone. Where is everyone? If this is a party then where are the party people? The first place my twelve year-old-self thinks to look is the bathroom but no one was in it. The second place was my bedroom I'm assuming. I walk into the light purple room and find Josh coloring on a piece of paper. "Josh? Why are you in here?" He turns around and smiles at me but then his smile is replaces with and frown. "I didn't have time to get you a card" he said, "or the money but I made you a card" he pulls a folded piece of construction paper with the words 'Happy Birthday Fay!' roughly printed on the front. I don't even have to open the card to love it. My best friend made it for me and that's all that matters. I dropped the card onto the ground and ran to Josh almost knocking him down in the process. "I love you Josh thank you I love it" I told him in a whisper so only he could hear. "But Fay you haven't even opened it yet?"
"I don't have to." I said.
"Happy birthday Fay" he said and then hugged me once again.
The memory was over and I was back in the wheelchair. I sigh and roll over to my bed and began to lift myself onto the bed. My eyes slowly drift away into darkness and I'm not sad for awhile.
I woke up groggy to the yelling of people.
"You're not taking her back I don't care if you can't live with out her she needs her mother." Why are they screaming? "Yes ma'am I totally agree but she is more comfortable with me than she is with you." Is that Josh? My body pops up and I assist myself out of bed into my wheelchair.
"Why do you want her you betrayed her made her hurt and she came back to me!" What?
"Please don't speak to loud! Look I love her and she needs me. Why can't you understand that?"
"Because she's my daughter and you may have brought her home to me but you're still dirt and I don't want you near her!"
"Oh really who did she come run-" the yelling stopped when Josh saw me emerge from the hallway. "Fay.." He breathed.
"What's going on?" I asked planning on moving no where until I get answers.
"This poor excuse of a man wants to take you back." My mother informs me.
Josh sighs and rubs his hands on his face.
"That poor excuse of a man happens to be my best friend!" I look at Josh's face at first it looks stunned and then it softens and a small smile appears on his face. Small glimpses of the flash back I had earlier keep replaying in my head. I look over to my mother and her jaw is down to the floor. "And if I want to go with him then I will." I finish my sentence.
"Young lady I will not be disrespected in my own house!" She said in that typical mother voice.
"Mother I am an adult I can go with Josh if I want to I have freedom." I roll my self out the door but call for Josh when I see stairs.
"I'm sorry ..."
"For what?" My voice cracks from lack of use for a couple of days.
"For.. Giving you up I guess," his voice is filled with with so many different emotions sorrow, anger, confusion all packed in six words.
I say nothing mostly because I have nothing to say but slightly because I don't want to speak to anyone right now. I'm angry at myself and if I speak then all of my emotions might fall out. To make it worse my angered words might come out on the wrong person.
"Fay I get your upset but could you at least talk to me I'm going insane over here!"
For the first time since I left my mother's house I looked at Josh. I can feel the tears welling up I try to fight it but I just don't know if I can. I'm so weak right now and I can't control it.
"I-I'm sorry I just don't kn-" a sharp pain in my head stopped me from finishing my sentence I grab my head, pulling my hair almost ripping it out to get the pain to stop. Suddenly the pain is gone and I look up expecting Josh to be right there, hugging me asking me if I'm okay. But when I open my eyes I see Josh staring at a girl with blonde hair. I can only see her back so I have no idea who she is, but then she speaks and I'm stunned. She sounds like me. She sounds angry, why is she angry.
"Josh honestly I don't know what you thought I was going to do but I can't take this right now I'm leaving" what is she,I mean me, talking about I watch as I walk out the door grabbing a coat and keys. The door opens and then slams shut and I hear the car engine roaring to life. My attention is on Josh now he looks so vulnerable and scared like he had just been stabbed. He falls to the floor hysterically tears dropping to the floor one by one I want to hold him and comfort him, but what he says next makes me instantly regret ever thinking that thought, my whole entity is soon filled with rage. Angry because I cant remember anything, because I didn't know this and I picked him, because he tried to smooth me over by taking care of me and praying that I wouldn't remember what he did to me. This rage consumes so much of me that I attempt to stand up so I can just run away. As soon as I do I'm back to reality and I fall straight to the ground. Josh comes rushing toward me asking me if I'm okay, saying he was so worried about me that I wouldn't answer when he called my name.
"Get off of me! Don't you dare touch me!"
Shock and pain took over his face and his hands fell limp. I scooted away keeping my eyes on Josh like he was going to try something if I looked away for a second. Tears roll down my cheeks, ones I didn't know I was holding back.
"Why did you do it?!" Tears going in my mouth when I spoke, snot was probably forming. My eyes burn and ache with the air and tears and hitting and spilling all at once. The tension rising with every passing second. I can't believe this.
